CH 171

I am way too soft on Miyagi — 171

Translated by KaiesV

Edited by KaiesV

As I decided yesterday, I got up earlier than usual.

I did not sleep well.

I bite down on a sore throat and open the refrigerator.

The cheese catches my eye and reminds me that there are mini-tomatoes in the vegetable room. I could spread jam and butter on my toast as usual, but today I want something different.

「I think we’ll have some pizza toast.」

I get out two plates and put a piece of bread on each.

The breakfast I prepare is for two people, and Miyagi is home today.

She didn’t run away from home, there were shoes at the door and I could feel her presence behind the door. She haven’t said good morning yet, but she can say good morning if I wait.

「——Good morning.」

After a small murmur, not exactly a rehearsal, I spread ketchup on a piece of bread and top it with cheese, halved mini-tomatoes and ham. After the prepared bread is placed in the toaster, shred the cabbage and cut the cucumber to make the salad. The toaster made a high-pitched noise as I placed the cabbage and cucumbers on a deep plate along with the rest of the mini-tomatoes I used for pizza toast.

The meal is almost ready, but Miyagi has not yet come out of her room.

After wondering whether to knock on the door and call Miyagi, I take the bread with the melted cheese out of the toaster and place it on a plate. I wish I had basil but I can’t put on top of what I didn’t buy, so I put olive oil and pepper on my pizza toast.

I look at the door to Miyagi’s room, but the door doesn’t open.

I carry the salad and pizza toast to the table and get the orange juice out of the fridge. After pouring the tangerine-colored liquid into a glass, I let out a small breath.

Meals were not made to be eaten alone.

Both the pizza toast and the salad are meant to be eaten with Miyagi, and I stand in front of her room.

With three deep breaths.

Clasp and open my hands, then squeeze them together as if I’m making goo.

It’s not the first time I knock on the door of Miyagi’s room, but I’m nervous.

I knock on the door once with a thump.

Nothing is heard from inside.

I knocked on the door twice, this time with a loud thump, and I heard a voice said,「What?」

「Miyagi, breakfast is ready.」

I consciously say it in the same voice as usual.

Ten seconds or fifteen seconds?

Maybe more than that, but after waiting for a while, Miyagi comes out from inside. But she looks down and our gazes don’t meet. I say「Good morning」to Miyagi, who finally walks out of the room, though she doesn’t look up.

「…Morning.」

A small voice answered, and the sound of a door slamming shut echoed through the room.

Miyagi looks down and does not look at me. Awkward, I won’t say, but I can tell that she thinks so from her refusal to look up.

「Look at me.」

I call out to Miyagi, who is staring at the floor.

「I don’t have to face you.」

「Just look at me.」

「Why?」

「That’s my line. Why does Miyagi not look at me?」

I ask a question without expecting for the answer.

The reasons why Miyagi doesn’t look at me are predictable and not that important.

It hurts my heart if she doesn’t look at me for whatever reason, and if she doesn’t have a reason, it just hurts my heart more, and it’s not interesting because it hurts either way. It resembles the pain of a creeping, infected wound, and it’s depressing to think that the pain will last forever.

「I don’t know.」

Miyagi replies in a whisper without raising her gaze.

I said good morning, and now we are going to have breakfast together.

Everything I thought about yesterday is coming true.

But it’s not going to be enough.

「Miyagi.」

I call her weakly and reach out her hand.

I tucked her hair behind her ear and touches the plumeria earrings I chose and gave to her. I felt the little flowers with my thumbs, then I called Miyagi again and kissed her earrings, who grabbed me by the hem of my T-shirt.

I parted my lips and looked at Miyagi and our eyes met.

I kissed her on the cheek and then said,「Good morning」and she replied,「Good morning,」in a clearer voice than before, but Miyagi looks down again.

「Did you have a dream today?」

I ask her, who does not seem to want to make eye contact with me.

「I didn’t see one.」

「I saw one myself. I had a dream that Miyagi hugged me.」

When I told her the content of the dream, which I had not even seen, Miyagi looked up and saw me.

「That’s, a lie, isn’t it?」

「It’s a lie. I really didn’t see it.」

To be precise, I couldn’t sleep enough to dream, just enough to doze off.

「Sendai-san, you lie so easily.」

Miyagi says in a gruff voice and tries to look down again. So I take her lips before she looks down.

I bring my lips together so hard that I can feel the hardness behind the softness, and then I let go. But before Miyagi could take a breath, I kissed her again, my teeth against her gummy, elastic lower lip.

I want to push Miyagi down like this.

Even if not on the bed, I want to touch Miyagi and kiss her besides her lips.

I know that is not possible, but I think so.

I bite and lick her soft lips.

I put my lips so close together that I couldn’t breathe and put my hands around Miyagi’s waist. As I pulled her body closer, Miyagi forced her lips apart.

「Why did you kiss me just now?」

She said in a flat voice, and Miyagi pushed my body away from her.

「Because I wanted to.」

「That’s it?」

「That’s it.」

Miyagi looks at me, but she looks dissatisfied, so I add,「If you need a reason, I’ll make one.」

「What (reasons) did you make?」

「How about because Miyagi was so cute?」

I smiled at her and she kicked me in the leg with quite a bit of force.

「You really need to stop kicking me.」

I’m glad I didn’t tell her I liked her yesterday.

If I had said it, I don’t know if Miyagi would still be here. Even if she had been there, it would’ve been even more awkward than it is now, and I wouldn’t have been able to kiss her or smile well.

「It’s Sendai-san’s fault for saying strange things.」

「Cute doesn’t mean weird, does it?」

「Then it’s Sendai-san’s fault for saying something she didn’t mean.」

「I think Miyagi is cute, and I mean it.」

Then I reached for her hair and was kicked in the leg again. I pull Miyagi’s hand and take her to the table, as I know that if I keep saying how cute she is, I will end up with a blue bruise on my leg.

「I made pizza toast, let’s eat it. It’s getting cold.」

Miyagi sits in place at the sound of my voice.

I sit in the chair, too, and we both say「Itadakimasu」together before biting into our pizza toast.

「Sendai-san does weird things, that’s why the food’s getting cold.」

「I just kissed you.」

After a glass of orange juice, I bit into another piece of pizza toast. Miyagi is right that the pizza toast is past the point of being hot, but perhaps it’s because it’s the first time I’ve made it that it tastes good.

After taking another bite of the pizza toast and swallowing it down, Miyagi spoke in a reserved voice.

「Sendai-san, why are you so unconcerned?」

「Unconcerned?」

「…Don’t you feel embarrassed?」

There are many things missing from the words that blurted out from Miyagi’s mouth, but I can tell that she refer to yesterday’s events.

「Did Miyagi run away from home the other day because you were embarrassed?」

「I’m the one asking the questions here, though.」

I hear a slightly low voice and I decide to answer seriously.

「I know it’s embarrassing, but I have nowhere else to go.」

She touched my body, asked me questions that she wouldn’t normally make, and even made me answer questions that I didn’t have to answer. Miyagi’s voice was also different from her usual voice, but overall, I must’ve been more embarrassed than she was. When I think about what happened to me, I understand why Miyagi wanted to run away from me the other time.

But I want to stay with Miyagi even if I am embarrassed.

「You could at least have a friend who you could stay over.」

「Maybe, but I’m more comfortable here. Would Miyagi have been better off without me?」

「That’s not what I said.」

「Then you should look like you’re having a little more fun.」

I’m not going to tell her to smile or be sociable, but at least peel off the word “grumpy” that is stuck to her face.

「It doesn’t matter what I look like.」

「I don’t care what you look like, but I think you’ll eat better if you look like you’re having a little fun.」

I bite into a piece of pizza toast while looking at a grumpy Miyagi.

Miyagi does not look happy.

On the contrary, she looks down.

I open my mouth to complain about Miyagi being so uncooperative, but before I can speak, I hear a small voice from across.

「… I’d rather eat with two people than alone.」

「Eh?」

「The answer to your earlier question. Would you have preferred that I wasn’t here? Hey, are you listening?」

After saying this, Miyagi drank some orange juice.

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「Ahh, yeah. I heard.」

It’s weird because Miyagi is suddenly so honest.

But now I think I can get the answer I wanted, so I ask her again what I asked her yesterday.

「Hey, Miyagi. Let’s go somewhere together during summer vacation.」

Across to me, Miyagi looked up and saw me.

After just a few moments, I hear a quiet voice.

「Sendai-san would be the one who decides where to go.」

「Alright.」

I answered shortly, and Miyagi bit into a piece of cold pizza toast.