I want to see more of Miyagi — 177
Translated by KaiesV
Edited by KaiesV
I may die today.
That’s how good Miyagi’s mood is.
The flying penguins were the last in the aquarium sequence, but she liked the rooftop area and was smiling as she walked around, saying she wanted to go around this area again.
I don’t think of an aquarium as a place where you go around and around the same place, but Miyagi looks like she’s having fun, so I don’t mind going around and around for the rest of my life.
I don’t care if I’m going to burn in the sun or if sweat is pouring down my forehead.
We say hello to the sea lions and the little otter, and then we return to the penguins.
「Miyagi, the sea lion show is about to start, do you want to see it?」
I call out to Miyagi, who doesn’t move her gaze from the penguins.
「I don’t need to watch it. Sendai-san, is there anywhere you would like to see again?」
「None, I guess?」
What I would like to see is Miyagi.
If she doesn’t want to see the sea lion show, I don’t either, and if there is nothing more to see at the aquarium, then there is nothing for me to see either.
「Then, let’s return.」
Miyagi looks away from the penguins and says curtly.
「Are we leaving already? Do you want to stop by somewhere?」
I don’t think I want to go home yet.
It’s not that there is anything I want to see, or some place I really want to stop by, but I want to watch Miyagi enjoying herself until nightfall, preferably at night.
But Miyagi responded with the unfriendly words,「We don’t have to stop by.」
「Well, let’s go home. Don’t you want to buy a stuffed penguin?」
When I asked Miyagi, who I can only assume likes penguins, she looked at me strangely.
「Sendai-san, do you want a stuffed penguin?」
「I don’t want it, but Miyagi seemed to like the penguins.」
「I don’t want it. I already have it, a stuffed animal.」
「Miyagi, do you already have a stuffed penguin?」
That’s new news to me.
I went to her room in high school and there was nothing like that. Stuffed toys are not something to be hidden away, so if Miyagi has a stuffed penguin, it must’ve been bought after she became a college student.
It doesn’t matter if she bought a stuffed animal or not.
But I would hate it if it was given to her by someone else.
And I would hate it even more if it was a stuffed animal that someone gave her and she have it displayed in her room.
Black paint plopped down in the back of my mind, and it kept spreading. Just as the black stain began to appear on the surface as well as the back of my mind, I heard Miyagi’s gruff voice.
「Not a penguin, but a cat. Sendai-san, you gave it to me for Christmas. Did you forget?」
At the sound of her voice, the stain that had spread through my mind quickly disappears.
A stuffed black cat that somehow resembles Miyagi.
How could I forget what I had given her? I also remember that Miyagi didn’t look so happy when I handed it to her.
「I remembered but… Maybe the stuffed animals have moved in too?」
When I was in high school, the black cat used the bookshelf in Miyagi’s room as a sleeping area, but now I don’t know how the black cat is doing because I have never been in her room. If it was still living on the bookshelf as it did back then, I would be very happy, if not because I gave them to her.
「I’m holding on it. So I don’t want the stuffed animal.」
Miyagi, who had been in a good mood earlier, has wrinkles between her eyebrows.
I suppress the bouncing desire to hug her and reply,「I see.」
Apparently, the stuffed black cat I gave her is loved in its own way by Miyagi, who is like a cat. No, I think it’s safe to say that she love it a lot, so much so that she said she doesn’t need a stuffed penguin because she have that stuffed animal.
When I think of it as more than the penguins that stole Miyagi’s heart, I feel so envious that I want to be a stuffed animal. But not enough to quit being human, because if I became a stuffed black cat, I wouldn’t be able to come to the aquarium with Miyagi or kiss her.
「Shall we go home like this? Why don’t we buy something to eat, though? As expected, it’s a hassle to cook dinner today. If Miyagi can cook for me too, that’s fine.」
I don’t mind respecting her wish not to stop anywhere, but I would like to make it easy for her.
「I don’t want to cook today either.」
We agree and we walk away.
「Miyagi, what would you like to eat?」
「I ate bread earlier, I’d like a bento.」
「Okay—!」
I would’ve liked to stay here for the rest of my life, but now that I’ve heard the happy news, I feel light on my feet as I leave the aquarium. The wrinkles between Miyagi’s eyebrows have disappeared.
We leisurely make our way to the station.
Usually Miyagi and I don’t have anything in common that we can get excited about, but not today. We have plenty to talk about.
「I wonder what the difference is between seals and sea lions.」
I ask Miyagi with two heads in my mind that I know are different but cannot explain the difference.
「Is it the shape?」
「Well, they certainly look different. But there’s something more properly different.」
「I don’t understand what you are telling me. Why don’t you look it up, Sendai-san?」
「I’ll check it out when we get home.」
It’s not very fruitful, but it’s fun because Miyagi talks a lot.
As we continue to talk about such unimportant but, to me, unimportant things, we both slow down somewhat, though not necessarily from either of us. Conversations are broken up and the buzz of the city can often be heard.
「…Do you often go to the aquarium, Sendai-san?」
Miyagi says, without looking at me.
「I think I only went a few times with my family when I was a child, but not since I grew up. What about Miyagi?」
「Same. I went there once when I was little… We didn’t go out as a family very often.」
「Is that so?」
「My father, he’s so busy, he’s hardly ever home.」
Miyagi unusually talks about her family.
Her gaze never turns to me.
She just looks ahead.
I am not sure whether to say the words that come to my mind.
She wouldn’t answer me usually.
But today, I think she might.
「…What about your mother?」
After Miyagi decided to share a room with me, her parent came to my house to greet me. But only her father came at that time, not the mother. Miyagi also talked about her father, but not her mother.
「None.」
I hear the expected words.
I think maybe I shouldn’t have heard it, but I also want to hear it deeply.
Miyagi still doesn’t look at me.
Her gaze is fixed on the front, as if there is a rule that she mustn’t look at anything but the front.
I don’t want to make today’s memory of Miyagi a bad one.
I want her to leave with only happy memories.
Both Miyagi and I think today should end as a fun day.
「I see.」
I answer shortly and look for the next word.
I can’t think of the right words to say to Miyagi, who told me something he had never told me before.
The road to the station was reasonably crowded, and it was not a situation to have an intricate conversation. The voices of people speaking near and far overlap and are heard as a buzzing, meaningless sound.
I breathe in and out slowly.
「I think Miyagi knows this, but my family doesn’t get along very well… They were close to me as a child, so they would take me to the aquarium or the zoo or whatever.」
As I told my own story to return what Miyagi had told me, Miyagi, who had been looking ahead for a long time, looked at me.
To be precise, it would be『I’m the only one who doesn’t get along with my family, but the rest of them seem to be having fun,』but there are too many things that need to be added to the story to tell it correctly.
「You have an older sister, right?」
「I do.」
「…Are you not getting along with her?」
「Not that good, I guess?」
I kept my distance from my two-year older sister.
We don’t argue or fight, but we haven’t had a proper conversation in years. The proof of this is that we are not even in contact with each other, even though we are within a distance of each other if we want to see each other.
「Sendai-san.」
As I pass through the ticket gate, Miyagi calls me in a quiet voice.
「What is it?」
「…Thank you for today. The aquarium was fun.」
The words that spilled out of Miyagi’s mouth were properly heard.
But my head wouldn’t understand them.
So, not a single word came out of my mouth.
「Sendai-san?」
「Ah, sorry. I didn’t expect Miyagi to say you were having fun.」
I saw her having fun at the aquarium.
I think she was smiling and having a blast, but I didn’t think she would go out of her way to tell me she had a good time. To have Miyagi tell me she had a good time is like having winter come next to summer.
「Sendai-san, what do you think I am? I have something fun to say.」
「Then, you know, you can continue to tell me when you had fun, like now.」
「Why do you want to know about that?」
「Because I want to know what is fun for Miyagi.」
If Miyagi could know that even the smallest thing can be fun, it might make her smile again, as it did today.
「…I’ll tell you when I have fun, if I haven’t forgotten.」
「That’s fine.」
Miyagi’s answer was uncertain, but I’m okay with that now. It’s progress just because she didn’t immediately answer that she didn’t want to.
「Let’s hold hands?」
I poke her arm next to me with my elbow, saying something I know Miyagi will never say no to.
「I won’t hold you.」
No words of anticipation were returned.
Perhaps if I had stayed home, I would have been kicked in the leg.
But, well, I guess it’s just like Miyagi.
Still, I wanted her to at least look at me, so I poked Miyagi again with my elbow and heard a small voice.
「…When do you want to go to the zoo?」
I was about to say, “Eh?” but swallowed hard.
I don’t want to say unnecessary words and then be told that there is no such thing.
「The winter would be cold, so maybe fall?」
「I’ll keep that in mind.」
Miyagi replies shortly.
Summer vacation is not over yet.
I want to do more and more fun things with Miyagi, but I also hope that autumn will come soon.
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