Sendai-san who is not mine — 205
Translated by KaiesV
Edited by KaiesV
Not “I’m home,” not “welcome back,” but “Welcome, dear customer.”
The first words said to me by Sendai-san are uncomfortable, and I already want to leave, even though the cake I ordered hasn’t yet arrived. But I’m not here alone, so I can’t leave without the cake coming.
「Shiori. Sendai-san’s uniform looks good on her, right? Was it the cafe apron? I like that one.」
Sendai-san, or rather the type of apron that covers from the waist down that is part of the store’s uniform, is certainly cool, but being cool also makes it uncomfortable.
Sendai-san is not the Sendai-san I know.
I thought it was better than staying at home alone, so I invited Maika to come to Sendai-san’s part-time job, but I should not have come. Even if being alone is boring, lonely, or unpleasant, I wish I had stayed home.
「I’ll give you a present for your birthday, if you don’t mind next year.」
I call out to Maika, who is looking at the waitress who has come to the table next to us.
「And this year’s birthday is over.」
「…Or Christmas, if you prefer.」
I blurted out, and Maika’s cheerful voice came back to me.
「Christmas sounds great. We haven’t done it before, but this year we should exchange gifts.」
Up until high school, we celebrated our friends’ birthdays, but we never exchanged chocolates or gifts for Valentine’s Day or Christmas.
I wasn’t interested in that kind of thing, and I thought that doing something at every event was a boring ritual, and I thought I would always be that way, but I wasn’t.
I can no longer be myself because Sendai-san brings me chocolates on Valentine’s Day or gives me gifts at Christmas.
Some part of me, some invisible place, is being changed by Sendai-san without my noticing.
「Christmas present, Maika, is an apron enough?」
「I guess so. If I’m going to use it at home, I think I’d rather have an apron that covers up to my chest so my clothes don’t get dirty.」
When I say that much, Maika grunts.
「It doesn’t have to be an apron. If there’s something you want, just let me know.」
「Thanks. I’ll think about it. Shiori, please think about what you want for Christmas, too.」
「Yeah.」
We look out at the restaurant in the evening, about two-thirds full, as we talk about the midwinter still ahead of us.
The café, which is neither large nor small, is a stylish but not unusual type of restaurant. There is a casual atmosphere with many regulars and customers talking with the restaurant staff.
I look at a table near the counter.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Sendai-san talking with a customer who looks a little scary.
I can’t hear what the conversation is about, but I think they seem friendly.
They stay there longer than they would at another customer’s table.
「Sendai-san is suited to the customer service industry, isn’t she?」
I hear Maika’s voice saying sullenly.
「She looks like she’s been working for a year when she haven’t even worked for a month.」
「Yes. And she’s very comfortable with it.」
I smile and answer, then turn my gaze to the window.
I knew I should have stayed home.
Sendai-san here is Sendai-san, who will never be mine.
How Sendai-san spends her time that I cannot know.
It was something I was very curious about, but I couldn’t do anything about it even if I knew. In fact, I’m looking at Sendai-san right now at a time I didn’t know existed, but I’m helpless to do anything about it. All I can do is to watch Sendai-san talking with a woman whom I don’t know well.
On the table, drinking water in a pretty glass.
Maika starts talking about a new manga she bought, and I phase her.
After a while, I hear Sendai-san’s stilted voice and I look at her apron.
「I’m sorry for making you wait.」
Cheesecake and shortcake, tea and coffee.
Sendai-san, who brought it, puts it on the table.
「You looked like a waitress.」
Maika says happily and looks at Sendai-san.
「Because I’m a waitress.」
「Is the person sitting near the counter a regular?」
What I was wondering about jumps out from Maika’s mouth.
「Nhn, I guess she’s a regular but also a senior. She’s the one who introduced me to the tutoring job.」
A person closely related to Sendai-san.
The fact that such a person is a regular at Sendai-san’s part-time job makes my stomach heavy even before I eat the cake.
「Is that so?」
I was restless and looked around the restaurant listening to their conversation, but again, no one was paying attention to the waiter chatting with the customers. Sendai-san also doesn’t mind staying at one table for a long time.
「Miyagi.」
When she suddenly calls my name, I answer while looking at the cheesecake.
「What?」
「I was just thinking earlier, that lipstick looks great on you.」
「…You’re saying that because you’re the one who chose it.」
I was worried about it until just before I left home and applied the lipstick that Sendai-san gave me. It wasn’t to show Sendai-san, but because I was going to meet Maika. I often wear lipstick in college, and if I didn’t just apply it on my days off, people would think I was weird. I don’t need to be praised by Sendai-san because I only apply it for that reason.
「I’ve been exposed, I guess?」
Sendai-san gives a small laugh.
She looks the same as usual in the morning, as if she doesn’t care about what happened yesterday.
What I did yesterday was a terrible thing, and not something I should have done to my roommate. Given that, somehow Sendai-san is in a good mood, even though she should be angry. She probably just wants to make fun of me, but she has enough time to compliment me on my lipstick.
But unlike Sendai-san, I cannot see her face properly in the morning. When I see it, it reminds me of yesterday.
Her body.
A number of red marks on it.
It’s burned into my brain.
And I am the one who said things that I shouldn’t have said.
I almost sigh and swallow.
I wish Sendai-san would leave here sooner, but she never does.
「Oh, right, Utsunomiya. Your school festival, I want to go there, show me around.」
As I was staring at the cheesecake, an unexpected word jumped into my ears and I involuntarily looked at Sendai-san’s face, which I hadn’t seen for a long time.
「Oh, perfect timing. Me and Shiori were talking about inviting you to the school festival, Sendai-san.」
Maika’s words are not wrong as she answers happily.
She did indeed say that she was going to invite Sendai-san to the school festival. But I didn’t say「yes」outright.
——I didn’t say clearly that I didn’t like it, though.
「Really. Well, then, I’ll come visit you and show me around.」
Sendai-san said in a bouncy voice, and I think it’s not fair.
She never said a word to me about wanting to go to the school festival.
It’s probably because she knows that if she tell me, she will be told「not to come.」And if she tell Maika, I know she will definitely ask her「to come.」
Really, Sendai-san is cunning.
「Leave it to us. Right, Shiori?」
Maika answers and looks at me as a matter of course.
「Ah, yeah.」
I don’t want to.
Don’t come.
There was no way I could say that in front of Maika.
「Well, then, that’s that.」
Smiling, Sendai-san goes to another table.
I took a bite of cheesecake after she disappeared completely and sighed loudly.
「What’s with that end-of-the-world sigh?」
「…I need to know how to erase someone else’s memory.」
I said while holding my forehead and took a sip of tea.
「That’s scary. Is something wrong? You suddenly asked me if I wanted to go to Sendai-san’s part-time job today. And I kept in touch.」
「There’s nothing but…」
「It’s scarier to want to erase memories when there’s nothing going on.」
「Well, that’s true.」
What I want to erase is the memory of Sendai-san from yesterday, and I cannot tell Maika about it.
I sigh one more time.
I sigh again, and I know that what I did yesterday and what we talked about are still in her memory, even though Sendai-san is treating me as if nothing had happened. What I’ve done is what I’ve done anyway, what I’ve said is what I didn’t have to say, and I’d like to erase it from her memory. In addition, I also want to erase the memory of the current school festival.
「Ah, I get it. You had another fight with Sendai-san, didn’t you? I’d like to say that, but I guess not. If you had a fight, you wouldn’t have come to her part-time job.」
「Well, probably.」
I look at Sendai-san’s back as she takes orders at another table.
Her uniform fits her well, and her voice is beautiful.
Unusual as she is, she covers my heart with a gray cloud.
I want to erase the memory of Sendai-san, but I don’t want to erase the marks I made yesterday.
On the contrary, I think it wasn’t enough.
Red markings hidden under the uniform.
If she had worn it enough to cover all of her body, I could have made the cloud of my mind smaller.
With a fork, cut a large slice of cheesecake and prick it with a plunger.
I knew I shouldn’t have come.
I took a bite of the cheesecake stuck in my fork and let out a small breath.
