Chapter - 39 (39)

Men seeking pleasure selectively, young men leaving floating footprints like duckweed.

Along the journey, government officials welcomed them and delivered bribe in abundant. Naturally Wei Xiaobao refused nobody; the farther they travelled south, his luggage became heavier and heavier. To his Tian Di Hui brothers he explained that they were corrupting Tatars' government; the more bribes they received, the more the common people would grumble, hence the reputation of the government officials everywhere would be damaged. When the time came to rise in rebellion, it would be easier to succeed. Xu Tianchuan and the others believed he was right.

One day they arrived in Yangzhou. The Zongdu [governor-general] of the Two Rivers

[70] Ma Leiji, the Xunfu [inspector-general/provincial governor] of Jiangning Ma You and his subordinates: provincial administrative commissioner, surveillance commissioner, provincial educational officer, Huai River road construction, supply line, river control work managers, Yangzhou prefectural magistrate, Jiangdu County head magistrate, as well as military officers of all levels, had already received the news; they all were waiting several li outside the city.

The imperial envoy field office was setup at the Huai River Taotai [lit. raised circuit, or ancient official title; circuit intendant?] Yamen. Wei Xiaobao thought that the place was too constraining; he only stayed for one night, and the next day he requested to be moved to different place. He felt that the best place for the imperial envoy field office would be his old home, the Lovely Spring Courtyard, since he was bestowed honor by the Emperor himself, it would be fitting to come back to his former residence in silken robes. But he could not find any justification to have the imperial envoy field office in a brothel. Thinking about his past in Yangzhou, his most cherished desire, other than opening several big brothels, was to pull all the Chinese peony flowers in the Chinese Peony Garden in front of the Chanzhi [Dhyana/Zen wisdom] Temple from their roots.

Yangzhou's Chinese Peonies were claimed to be the most famous in the world, the Chinese Peony Garden in front of the Chanzhi Temple was especially grand; the different variety in the garden numbered in hundreds or thousands, the flowers were as big as rice bowls. When Wei Xiaobao was around ten years old, he, along with a group of street urchins, went out to play there. Seeing the beautiful blooming peonies, he picked two flowers to play. The monk of the Temple saw him, snatched the flower back, and slapped him twice on his ears. Wei Xiaobao kicked and bit; he created quite a ruckus with the monk, and was able to push the big and fat monk to the ground, and kicked him several times. The rest of the urchins roared and swarmed into the garden, randomly pulling the Chinese peonies.

The monk cried out for help, a bunch of monks and kitchen helpers rushed out from the Temple with clubs in their hands, to chase the urchins away. Because Wei Xiaobao was the chief offender, he suffered quite a bit of beating with the clubs, his head grew a big lump. When he returned to the Lovely Spring Courtyard, his mother punished him by not giving him any supper that night. Although eventually he managed to go to the kitchen and stole some food until he was full, but the 'Chanzhi Temple Picking Flower Disgrace' was deeply etched in his heart. The next day he returned to the Temple to rain curses from a distant; he cursed the monks, from 'Tathagata Buddha's mama' all the way to cursing the monks' daughters. He swore, "There will come a day when laozi will pull out all the Chinese peonies in front of this Temple clean, will tread on your stinky temple to level it to the ground, will dig hole in it as latrine pit." He cursed until the monks of the Temple chased him away, and then he ran away as fast as he could.

Many years later, he had already forgotten about this matter. It was not until that day he returned to Yangzhou and was looking for a place to setup his field office did he remember Chanzhi Temple; immediately he told the Huai River Taotai about his intention. The Taotai thought, "Chanzhi Temple is a well-known Buddhist place, a thousand-year old ancient temple. If the imperial envoy stays there, I am afraid he would disturb the peace and stir up confusion." Thereupon he said, "Reporting to Daren: the scenery in the Chanzhi Temple is indeed magnificent, Daren has a superb idea, lowly officer admires it exceedingly. However, I am afraid it won't be too convenient to have non-vegetarian food and wine in the Temple."

"What's not convenient?" Wei Xiaobao asked, "Just move the Bodhisattva inside the Temple out; problem solved."

Hearing that he wanted the Bodhisattva to be moved, the Taotai was even more scared; he thought that it would invite misfortune. If the common people inside Yangzhou's city wall were angered, they would be very difficult to handle. Therefore, with a force laugh he bowed with cupped fist and said in a low voice, "Reporting to Daren: Yangzhou's prostitutes are famous throughout the world. Along the way Daren has toiled to render great merits, now that you have arrived at my humble place, lowly officer ought to serve you with all my heart; I have already selected not a few good-looking girls who are adept at strumming the lute and singing songs, ready to be inspected by Daren. The monks' temple has hard bed and stiff backless stool, I am afraid it will spoil the fun very much."

Wei Xiaobao thought what he said actually made a lot of sense; he laughed and said, "In your opinion, where should we set the field office?"

The Taotai said, "Among the salt merchants of Yangzhou, there is one surnamed He, his home is called the He Garden, it is considered the most famous garden in Yangzhou. He has a mind to curry favor with Imperial Envoy Minister, and has already prepared proper invitation card, with the hope that Daren would honor him with your presence. It's just that his scholarly honor (in imperial exams) is too low, he did not dare to speak out. If Daren does not look down on him, there is no harm in you taking the trouble to visit and take a look."

This salt merchant surnamed He was very rich and powerful; when he was a kid, Wei Xiaobao often walked by the high wall outside his house. He heard the sound of string and wind instruments from the inside, and was very envious; however, he had never had any opportunity to look inside. Thereupon he said, "Very well, I'll stay there for several days; if it is not enjoyable, we'll move again. There are a lot of salt merchants in Yangzhou; we can stay from one house to the next. Even if we eat there, we won't make them poor."

The He Garden's rooms were connected like clouds, there were serene rocky small streams winding around the garden, the pavilions were elegant, the construction was exquisite; with just a glance one could tell that each foot of land had cost not a few gold and silver. Wei Xiaobao was very satisfied; he ordered his personal guards to also stay in the garden. Zhang Yong and the others, four generals, as well as the troops under their command were spread around neighboring government officials' private residences.

By this time Yangzhou was flourishing, it was considered one of the most bustling cities in the world. During the Tang Dynasty, there was a saying about Yangzhou: 'ten li of pearl curtain, twenty-four romantic bridges'. At the beginning of Qing Dynasty, it had become the collection and distribution center Huai River salt, thus it became even more prosperous. According to historical records, at the end of the Ming Dynasty, there were a total of more than 375,000 'ding' (men sixteen years old and older). During the Ming-Qing transition, Yangzhou suffered Qing troops' massacre, by Shunzhi's third year, there were only 9,320 'ding' remained, but by Kangxi's sixth year, the number increased again to more than 397,900 'ding'. Not only the vitality was completely restored, it even surpassed its former glory.

Early morning the next day, all government officials, big and small, within Yangzhou's city wall appeared at the Imperial Envoy Field Headquarters to pay their respect. Wei Xiaobao received them, and then he read aloud the Imperial Edict. He did not know any character in Kangxi's imperial edict, hence earlier he asked the secretary to read it and he memorized it. This time he recited character by character; his memory was quite good, he did not make any mistake. In his haste he only held the imperial edict carelessly, but nobody detected anything.

When the numerous officials heard that the Emperor issued an edict to exempt Yangzhou's residents in every county three years of land tax, plus compensation to the orphans and widows of the victims of disaster during the founding of the country, and construction of Martyr Shrine for the loyal minister Shi Kefa, none did not shout 'long live', and kowtowed to thank the vast and mighty imperial kindness.

Finished announcing the imperial decree, Wei Xiaobao said, "Gentlemen, Daren, when Xiongdi left the Capital, His Majesty instructed me that Jiangsu province's output is prosperous, but for the past few years, the government is somewhat relaxed, troops preparation is also not in order; Xiongdi was ordered to investigate and reorganize properly. His Majesty cherished Yangzhou's common people so much, as government officials, we ought to spare no effort to repay the Holy Sage's grace."

All the civil and military officials voiced their agreement, but they could not help being secretly anxious. Actually, these words were taught by Songgotu. Wei Xiaobao knew that to receive a lot of bribes, first, have the opposite party asking for a favor; second, have the opposite party somewhat afraid. For this reason, he threatened Jiangsu's civil and military officials a bit; he must flaunt his authority, but the threat must be neither too light nor too heavy, it must be just right, yet must be discreet and completely delivered in government official lingo. He would not be able to do this if Songgotu did not coach him.

With the bureaucratic protocol completed, he had the local official selecting the location for the Martyr Shrine, and also drawing up a plan to get the victims' names registered. He sent people to the four townships to announce the edict about Emperor's benevolence in exempting the people from land tax. All these businesses were not something that could be done in one morning one evening; while waiting, he lived comfortably in a golden nest in Yangzhou. For the next several days, the governor-general and inspector-general prepared banquet for him, the administrative commissioner and chief of police prepared banquet for him, various departments' officials prepared banquet for him. In every banquet room, delicacies were spread out, it was extremely extravagant, no expense was spared.

Every day Wei Xiaobao was thinking of going to the Lovely Spring Courtyard to visit his mother, but the exchange of toasts never stopped, from the beginning it was never convenient for him to do so. Imperial Envoy high-ranking official's mother worked as a prostitute in Yangzhou, this matter must never be exposed. The disgrace and loss of face was a minor matter, but the loss of imperial court's dignity was a major issue. Much less Wei Xiaobao had been a high-ranking official for quite a long time, all along he did not fetch his mother to live a happy and prosperous life with him in the Capital, instead he allowed her to be reduced to prostitution; it was a greatly unfilial thing. If this matter was ever found out by the imperial censor, even the Emperor would find it difficult to protect him.

He was thinking that as soon as things had settled down, he would quietly put on a disguise and go to the Lovely Spring Courtyard to take a look, and then he would have his personal guard escorted his mother to settle down in Beijing. He thought that it would be best if the gods did not know and the ghosts did not detect.

At first he had always had a plan to escape [orig. 'anoint oil at the bottom of his feet'], as soon as he saw something amiss, he would immediately 'spur the horse to full speed', and escape without a trace. Unexpectedly his official position was getting higher and higher, the longer he was in office, the happier he was. By the time he actually had a thought to fetch his mother back to the Capital, he had already been in office for too long.

Several days later, it was Yangzhou's prefectural magistrate Wu Zhirong's turn to invite him to a banquet and wash the dust from the Imperial Envoy's feet. Wu Zhirong had heard from the Taotai that the Imperial Envoy has had a thought to make Chanzhi Temple his field office. He thought that the Chanzhi Temple's best feature was merely the Chinese peony garden in front of the Temple, the Imperial Envoy set his heart on the Temple, it must be because he appreciate the flowers' beauty. He was very good at flattery, hence several days ahead of the banquet, he had a flower canopy built at the bank of the Chinese peony garden. He had artisans built it, the pine frame still had its bark intact, the branches and leaves remained on the trunk, inside the canopy the table and chairs were made of natural trees and rocks, the floor inside the canopy was covered with shrubs and grass, they used bamboo pieces to channel water to create streams around the canopy, complete with its gurgling noise, the details were extremely well-thought, it was as if the banquet was held on the mountain and fields, compared to rich people home's engraved beams and jade-brick hall, it had different feeling and local flavor.

Who would have thought that Wei Xiaobao was an unbearably uncouth person, who did not have even half an elegant bone in his entire body; when he arrived at the flower canopy, the first question he asked was, "How can there be an arbor here? Ah right, it must be the Temple monks built it for their Buddhist ceremony; they are going to set it on fire, and put some food in here to feed the hungry ghosts."

Wu Zhirong's meticulous effort was totally in vain; he could not help but looking very awkward. He still thought that the Imperial Envoy was intentionally ridiculing him; with no other choice he let out a forced laugh and said, "Lowly officer's knowledge and experience is shallow and crude, I failed to make arrangement that satisfies Daren's taste; indeed I deserve to die."

Seeing that the other guests had already stood respectfully to wait for his arrival, Wei Xiaobao greeted them and then took a seat. After socializing with Wei Xiaobao for several days, the governor-general of the Two Rivers had already returned to Jiangning to do his duty. The inspector-general of Jiangsu province and administrative commissioner had their administrative offices in Suzhou, but they all stayed in Yangzhou to accompany the Imperial Envoy. As for the rest of the guests, if not famous scholar, then they must be salt merchants with scholarly honor in imperial exam, or have some official position in Yangzhou.

Yangzhou's banquet was very elegant and very rich in variety. Just the pre-banquet tea, fruits and delicacy were already more than a dozen varieties. Although Wei Xiaobao was born and raised locally, he could not know everything. After drinking a round of tea, the sun was gradually tilting to the west, the sun illuminated the several thousand Chinese peony outside the canopy, like glorious and magnificent luster of gems, just like brocade clothes. But the more Wei Xiaobao looked at it, the angrier he got, thinking about the grudge of the past, when he was beaten and humiliated by the monks of the Temple. Right then and there he was thinking of having all the Chinese peony pulled and burned, but he must have a legitimate pretext to do that.

While he was mulling over this, the Inspector-General Ma You said with a laugh, "Wei Daren, listening to Daren's accent, it seems that you have lived in Huai Yang region before. Huai Yang's water and soil is rich, thus it produces talented persons, as well as good flowers."

The rest of the officials only knew that the Imperial Envoy was a Yellow Banner Manchu, the last several days the Inspector-General heard him speaking, he could detect Yangzhou accent in his speech, thereupon he seized this opportunity to flatter him a little bit.

Wei Xiaobao was thinking about the hateful monks of Chanzhi Temple. "Yangzhou's monks are no good," he blurted out.

The Inspector-General was startled, he was not sure what Wei Xiaobao was referring to. The administrative commissioner Mu Tianyan was a very perceptive, as well as highly educated; he interrupted, "Wei Daren's observation is very true. Yangzhou monks selfishly concerned with gaining advantages for themselves, they fawn on local authorities, humiliate the poor; they were just like that since ancient times."

Wei Xiaobao was greatly delighted; he laughed and said, "That's right. Mu Daren is a scholar, you knew that it was written in the books."

Mu Tianyan said, "Isn't the story of 'Jade Green Muslin Covering' by Wang Bo of the Tang Dynasty set in Yangzhou?"

Wei Xiaobao just loved to hear stories; he hastily asked, "What is the story of 'yellow cloth [huang bu] versus sandy dragon' [bi sha long, same pronunciation, different characters from 'Jade Green Muslin Covering']?"

"The story happened in Yangzhou's Shita [stone pagoda] Temple," Mu Tianyan said, "During the early Qian years of the Tang Dynasty, the Shita Temple was called Mulan [lily magnolia] Courtyard. When the poet Wang Bo was young, his family was poor …"

Wei Xiaobao thought, "Turns out this person was called Wang Bo, not a piece of yellow cloth." He heard Mu Tianyan continued, "… he lived away from home in Mulan Courtyard. The monks in the temple rang a bell to signal meal times, when Wang Bo heard the bell, he went to the dining hall to eat. The monks disliked him, there was one time when everybody ate first, and rang the bell after they all finished eating. Wang Bo heard the bell, he went to the dining hall, but saw that the monks had already dispersed, the food had already been eaten clean …"

Wei Xiaobao slapped the table and angrily said, "Damn monks are so repulsive."

"That's right," Mu Tianyan said, "Just a meal, how much does it cost? At that time Wang Bo was very ashamed, he inscribed a poem on the wall, 'Attending a lesson from west to east, ashamed returning to black after-meal bell.'"

"What kind of fellow was this 'Hui Li' [return black]?" Wei Xiaobao asked.

The numerous officials had been in contact with him these past few days, they knew that the Imperial Envoy was not a scholar; in fact, a lot of famous, rich and honorable banner men did not come from academic field, hence nobody thought it strange. Mu Tianyan said, "Hui Li means monk."

Wei Xiaobao nodded. "So they are the bald thieves," he said, "And then what happened?"

Mu Tianyan said, "And then Wang Bo became a high-ranking official, the imperial court sent him to guard Yangzhou, and he returned to Mulan Courtyard. Naturally those monks were fawning on him. He went to see if the poem he inscribed on the wall was still there or not, but he saw a piece of expensive jade green muslin pasted on the wall, covering the two lines of poem he wrote, in order to avoid it being damaged. Wang Bo was deeply moved, he added two more lines after the original poem, 'Thirty years ago dust covered the surface, only now it is covered with jade green muslin.'"

"Surely he arrested those bald thieves and had them flogged?" Wei Xiaobao asked.

Mu Tianyan said, "Wang Bo was an elegant scholar, he thought that the two lines of poem already ridiculed them, hence he let it pass."

Wei Xiaobao thought, "If it were me, how could I give up that easily? But if I had to write a poem, I don't have that kind of skill. Laozi can only defecate, cannot write a poem."

After the story, the tea was removed and the wine was poured. Wei Xiaobao looked around. He caught Wang Jinbao on separate table was pouring a cup of wine into his mouth; the way he drink was very straightforward. Wei Xiaobao had an idea, "General Wang," he said, "You told me once that the war-horses that eat Chinese peony are especially full of power and grandeur, didn't you?" While he spoke, he winked at him.

Wang Jinbao did not understand his intention, "This …" he stammered.

Wei Xiaobao said, "His Majesty selects and uses famous species of good horses: Mongolian horses, Western Region horses, Sichuan horses, Yunnan horses, what have you. His Majesty instructed us to raise those horses carefully, didn't he?"

Wang Jinbao knew about Kangxi accumulated war horses with diligent care. "Daren is right," he said.

"You are well acquainted with horses' character," Wei Xiaobao continued, "When we were in Beijing, you said that if war-horses are fed Chinese peony, their running speed will double. His Majesty loves horses like this, we as his servants should uphold the Holy Sage's intention. If we dig the Chinese peony in this place and send it to the Capital, so that the Ministry of War's carriage manager can feed the horse. When His Majesty finds out, his dragon countenance will surely be very pleased."

When the people heard this, their countenance looked extremely strange; Chinese peony flowers can strengthen the horse? It was the first time that they heard about it. Looking at Wang Jinbao, they noticed his expression was ambiguous, apparently he disagreed, but did not dare to object blatantly. Yet Wei Xiaobao kept saying His Majesty this and His Majesty that, he was 'lifting high the Emperor's hat'; who would dare to show the slightest objection? They all could see that these several thousand famous varieties of Chinese peony would be destroyed in his hands. Henceforth Yangzhou would lose one scenic spot. But why did this Wei Daren hate these Chinese peonies so much? Everybody looked at each other in dismay, nobody could say anything.

Prefectural magistrate Wu Zhirong said, "Wei Daren's scholarly knowledge is profound, indeed worthy of other people's admiration. This Chinese peony's root is called Scarlet Peony. The Compendium of Medical Herbs

[71] mentions that its function is to reduce internal blood clot and improve blood circulation. The name Chinese peony [shaoyao] itself has the character 'yao' [medicine] in it; apparently the people of old recognized its good medicinal character. When the horse eats Chinese peony, its blood vessels unimpeded, naturally it can run like flying. When Daren returns to the Capital, lowly officer will have all the Chinese peony flowers here dug out and have Daren carry it back to the Capital."

When the other officials heard this, in their hearts they all scolded Wu Zhirong as despicable and shameless, in order to curry favor with a superior officer, he was willing to go as far as destroying Yangzhou's beautiful scenery. Wei Xiaobao clapped his hands and said, "Wu Daren is capable and experienced. Very good, very good."

Wu Zhirong felt much honored; he hastily stood up to bow and said, "Thank you for Daren's compliment."

The administrative commissioner Mu Tianyan walked out of the canopy toward a cluster of Chinese peonies. He picked a big Chinese peony, as big as a rice bowl, and returned to the table; with both hands he presented the flower to Wei Xiaobao and said with a laugh, "Would Daren please stick this flower on your hat? Lowly officer has a story for Daren to hear."

Hearing that he was about to listen to another story, Wei Xiaobao received the flower; he saw that the Chinese peony's petals were dark red, with a yellow line running right in the middle of each petal, it was indeed a tender and beautiful flower, hence he inserted it onto his hat.

Mu Tianyan said, "Congratulations Daren, this Chinese peony has a name; it is called the 'Gold Band All Around'. It is a very rare variety, there is a writing in the ancient books that whoever can see this 'Gold Band All Around', in the future he could be the Prime Minister."

Wei Xiaobao laughed and said, "How can there be such thing?"

Mu Tianyan said, "The story originated during the Northern Song Dynasty. In those days Han Weigong [Duke of Wei], Han Qi, was guarding Yangzhou. In the Chinese peony garden, right here, in front of the Chanzhi Temple, suddenly four big flowers bloomed on one Chinese peony tree, the petals were dark red, with gold thread right in the middle; it was precisely this 'Gold Band All Around'. This kind of Chinese peony had never been seen before, it was extremely rare. His subordinates promptly reported this, Han Weigong graced the garden with his presence to enjoy the scenery; he was very happy. Seeing there were four flowers, he thought about inviting three guests to enjoy the flowers together."

Wei Xiaobao took down his hat to look at the flower again; indeed the red and yellow produced stark contrast, it was exceptionally marvelous. The lines of golden stripes may not be found in a hundred flowers.

Mu Tianyan said, "At that time there were two well-known persons in Yangzhou, one was Wang Gui, the other Wang Anshi

[72]; both were people of talent and learning, of knowledge and experience. Han Weigong thought, there were four flowers, but only three people; unavoidably 'everything is fine except for one small defect'. If he were to invite other person, their prestige may not fit the other three. While he was hesitating, suddenly someone came to pay respect to him; it was Chen Shengzhi. He was also a famous scholar. Han Weigong was greatly delighted; the next day he held a big feast in front of the Chinese peony garden. He had the four 'Gold Band All Around' flowers picked and inserted into each man's hat. This story is called 'The Feast of Four Prime Ministers with flowers on their hats'. These four men later on became Prime Ministers."

Wei Xiaobao laughed and said, "Interesting. These four honorable friends were all famous intellectual, people who could write poem and write essays. Xiongdi cannot be compared to them."

"That is not necessarily so," Mu Tianyan replied, "During the Northern Song Dynasty, only intellectuals can become Prime Ministers. Our Great Qing conquered the world on horseback. The ones esteemed the most by His Majesty are brave and cunning heroes and warriors." Hearing the comment 'brave and cunning heroes and warriors', nine characters [you yong you mou de ying xiong hao han], Wei Xiaobao could not help but was very happy. He nodded his head repeatedly.

Mu Tianyan continued, "Han Weigong was conferred the title Duke of Wei Country, it goes without saying. Wang Anshi was bestowed the title Duke of Jing Country, Wang Gui was made Duke of Qi Country, and Chen Shengzhi became Duke of Xiu Country. Not only these four famous feudal officials became Prime Ministers, they were all bestowed the title 'Country Duke'; not only each one had riches and honor, they also had long life. Wei Daren attained much in your youth, right now you are bestowed the title Bojue [Earl/Count], if you are promoted one more level, you will be Houjue [Marquis]; one more level and you will become Gongjue [Duke]. Even Wang [King] or Qinwang [Prince (royalty)] is just a matter of time."

Wei Xiaobao laughed aloud and said, "If only it will be according to Mu Daren's golden mouth, then everybody here will also be promoted and gain wealth."

All the officials rose and held the wine cups with both hands; they said, "Congratulations to Wei Daren for your upcoming promotions, Gong and Hou for ten thousand generations."

Wei Xiaobao also stood up and drank the toast together with the numerous officials; he thought, "This official is both scholarly and eloquent, he can tell stories and attract people's attention. If I call him to Beijing to work for me, I can frequently listen to his stories, won't it be better than listening to the storytellers? By nature this man is a big king of flattery, he was given the name Mu Tianyan [lit. admiring heaven's countenance]; clearly he always wanted to have an audience with the Emperor."

Mu Tianyan continued, "Afterwards Han Weigong led the troops to guard the western border. Seeing him, Western Xia people were scared to death, they did not dare to send any troops to disturb the border. At that time the Western Xia people feared two Song Dynasty ministers, one was Han Weigong, Han Qi; the other was Fan Wenzhenggong

[73], Fan Zhongyan. At that time there was a saying, 'With a Han in the army, western thieves hear it and their hearts tremble; with a Fan in the army, western thieves hear it and were frightened that their guts busted'. In the future Wei Daren will lead the troops to guard the western border, there will be a saying, 'With a Wei in the army, western thieves see it and hastily kneel down'!"

[74]Wei Xiaobao loved it very much; he said, "These two characters 'western thieves' are very clever. Ping Xi Wang that western …" Suddenly he remembered, "Wu Sangui has not yet risen in rebellion; I cannot call him 'western thief'." Hastily he corrected himself, "Ping Xi Wang is guarding the western border, we have peace and security without any problem; he has rendered very great merit."

Wu Zhirong said, "Ping Xi Wang is brave and resourceful, he performs high service through hard work, he was bestowed the title Qinwang, the heir apparent has become the Prince Consort. In the future Wei Daren will have great riches and great honor, will live as long as Mount Nan, definitely you will be no different than Ping Xi Wang."

In his heart Wei Xiaobao cursed, "Hot piece mama, you want me to be no different than Wu Sangui that big traitor. This old turtle will have his head removed any day, you want me to be the same as him?"

Mu Tianyan usually paid closed attention to what's happening in the imperial court, just a few days ago he saw the imperial bulletin that the Emperor has issued the imperial decree of border defense removal. He immediately foresaw that Wu Sangui would be in deep trouble. Right now, seeing Wei Xiaobao's countenance slightly changed, his suspicion was confirmed and he understood it clearly. He said, "Wei Daren is promoted by the Emperor himself, he is the trusted aide that the Holy Sage depends on, the pillar of the imperial court, the ridgepole and beams of the nation. Ping Xi Wang, on the other hand, while his official ranking right now is high, in the end he cannot be compared to Wei Daren. Wu Fuzun [prefectural magistrate] comparison is not too correct. Wei Daren's ancestor was Tang Dynasty's Zhongwu Wang [lit. loyal martial/military king] Wei Nie; who once destroyed four hundred and eighty thousand foreign troops, whose prestige shook the western frontier. When Zhu Ci rebelled that time, he sent people to invite Wei Zhongwu Wang to send troops into battle together. Zhongwu Wang was loyal to the Emperor and was not double-minded, how could he be willing to do such treason and heresy? Immediately he had the rebel thief's envoy beheaded, and then he sent his troops to help the imperial court defeat and pacify the rebel thieves, hence he set up great merit. Wei Daren appearance is stately, his good fortune great, incomparable; in all likelihood, he inherits Wei Zhongwu Wang's good fortune."

Wei Xiaobao smiled and nodded. Actually, he did not even know his own surname; it was only because his mother's name was Wei Chunfang that he went by his mother's surname. It had never occurred to him that surname Wei had this kind of high-profile persona, this administrative commissioner even said with conviction that he was his own ancestor. It seemed that the administrative commissioner was determined to 'paste gold onto Wei Xiaobao's face'. From the tone of his voice, it seemed that he already figured out that Wu Sangui was about to revolt. This man's ability and wisdom was really amazing.

Being refuted by him, Wu Zhirong was dissatisfied, but he did not dare to openly contradict his senior; he said, "I heard that Wei Daren is a Plain Yellow Banner man." His implication was clear: he was a Manchu, how could he have anything to do with Wei Nie of the Tang Dynasty?

Mu Tianyan laughed and said, "Wu Fuzun only knows one does not know two. The present Holy Sage reigns the world; toward the millions of people all over the world, he treats everyone equally favorably. Manchu and Han are one family, why make any distinction between the two?" This argument was actually rather forcing the logic, but Wu Zhirong did not dare to argue. He thought that if he spoke several more sentences, he might very well offend the Imperial Envoy; hence he repeatedly stated his agreement.

Mu Tianyan said, "Ping Xi Wang is our Yangzhou's Gaoyou [county] man, do Wu Fuzun and Ping Xi Wang belong to the same family?"

Wu Zhirong was really not from Gaoyou, hence he did not have any relationship with Wu Sangui, but at that time Wu Sangui's power and influence was overpowering, hence he hurriedly borrowed the influence and claimed some honor due to his surname Wu. He said, "According to genealogy, lowly officer is one generation younger than Ping Xi Wang; I should call Wangye my uncle."

Mu Tianyan nodded, no longer paid him any attention. He said to Wei Xiaobao, "Wei Daren, although this 'Gold Band All Around' Chinese peony is not as rare as it was during the Song Dynasty, yet it is in full bloom like this, it is also exceptionally rare. Today Wei Daren arrived and enjoy the flower when it is in full bloom, this is not a coincidence; it must be the Heaven's will. Lowly officer has a tiny bit of idea, would Daren listen to me?"

"Laoxiong, please give your advice," Wei Xiaobao said.

"Giving Advice, these two characters, how can I dare?" Mu Tianyan said, "The root of the Chinese peony indeed has some medical benefit. Daren wants to use it to feed the horse, if it is further refined by drug store, the effect will be even more powerful. Lowly officer will order my men to procure a large quantity of it, and will have medicine expert in Beijing process it. As for the Chinese peony in this place, to think that they have merit in announcing the good news to Daren, is it possible to leave them behind? When the day come in which Wei Daren takes command to destroy the thieves, and you are bestowed the title Wang [king], just like Han Weigong, Wei Zhongwu Wang, you can come back here to enjoy the flower. At that time I am sure the 'Gold Band All Around' will be in full bloom again to welcome the noble; won't that be a beautiful thing indeed? In lowly officer's opinion, in the future there will be an opera developed based on this story."

Wei Xiaobao was happy and excited, "Are you saying that there will be an actor playing me in the opera?"

"That's right," Mu Tianyan said, "Naturally there will be an elegant, attractive young actor playing the role of Wei Daren. But there will also be actors with white beard, black beard, 'big flower face' [referring to lots of makeup], and 'white nose [cunning/sly person] little clown' playing us, the officials." The government officials roared into laughter.

Wei Xiaobao laughed and asked, "What will this story called?"

Mu Tianyan turned to the inspector-general Ma You and said, "For that, please Futai [inspector-general (old)] Daren pick a good name." He noticed that the inspector-general has been very quiet, he thought that they must not give him a cold shoulder.

Ma You laughed and said, "Wei Daren will be bestowed the title Wang in the future, how about this opera is called 'Wei Wang inserts the flower on his hat'?" The numerous officials voiced their approval together.

In his heart Wei Xiaobao was delighted, he no longer desired to haggle over the old grievance of the past. He thought, "Laozi will never be a prime minister, or destroying western thieves. Being a wangye just for fun, perhaps I can, but if I pulled these Chinese peonies, I am afraid I will bring bad omen." Looking at the flower garden, he saw that there were at least several dozen more of 'Gold Band All Around'; he thought, "How can there be this many prime ministers? Could it be that all of you will become prime ministers? Futai or Fantai [vassal state governor (old)], there is still hope. This Wu Zhirong has a thief head and dog brain, no matter what he won't be a prime minister. In the future, the 'white nose little clown' must be playing his role."

He was fully aware that this administrative commissioner spoke in a roundabout way, spending a lot of effort planning his speech, his main intention was to save these several thousand Chinese peonies in front of the Chanzhi Temple. This was government official trick that was passed through in front of everybody; it was called 'flowered sedan chair people lift the people', since you have lifted me up, I cannot be obstinately clinging to my own way. He could not make these Yangzhou officials lose face. Thereupon he no longer mentioned anything about the Chinese peony. He laughed and said, "In the future, if there is indeed an opera like that, we can't watch it anyway. Right now, why don't we listen to songs first?" The numerous officials voiced their approval at once.

Wu Zhirong had already prepared everything, he issued the order, from outside the canopy they could hear the tinkling noise of girdle ornament, followed by a whiff of perfume. Wei Xiaobao's spirit was aroused; he thought, "There's a beauty I can look at."

Sure enough, a woman gracefully walked into the flowered canopy, paid her respect to Wei Xiaobao and with a delicate voice she said, "May Imperial Envoy Daren and all Daren have ten thousand good fortune and peace like gold. Xiao Nuzi [little/lowly woman] will serve by singing a song." The woman was approximately thirty years old, her attire was gorgeous, but her facial features were only average.

The flute player started to blow the bamboo flute, and she sang. The song she sang was Du Mu's [(803-852) Tang Dynasty poet] two-stanza Yangzhou poems: "There are faint green mountains and far green waters, And grasses in this river region not yet faded by autumn; And clear in the moon on the Twenty-Four Bridges, Girls white as jade are teaching flute-music

[75]." "With my wine-bottle, watching by river and lake, For a lady so tiny as to dance on my palm; I awake, after dreaming ten years in Yangzhou, Known as fickle, even in the Street of Blue Houses.

[76]"

The flute was melodious, the singing voice winding amidst the music; it was very pleasant to listen to. But looking at this courtesan, Wei Xiaobao felt rather impatient.

When the woman finished singing, another courtesan walked in. This woman was around thirty-four or thirty-five years old, her bearing was elegant, her voice was even more trained, she was able to sing the most complicated melody. Her voice remained even while the pitch and rhythm were dynamically rising and falling. The song she was singing was Qin Guan's poem, 'Watching The Waves'

[77]; "The stars divide the Niu [ox] and Dou [big-dipper] constellations, the horizon borders Huai River and the ocean, Yangzhou's ten thousand wells raised to prominence. Flowers along the streets emitted its fragrance, at the hawk's cry the people arise, ten li of Vermillion curtain brought the spring breeze. Hero's aura like a rainbow, dragging the spring's gold and purple out, flying pass each other over the canopy. The lane enters hanging down poplar, painting of a bridge running north and south behind the bluish-green smoke."

The poem was definitely sung very beautifully, but listening to it, Wei Xiaobao was extremely bored; he could not help but yawning loudly. The 'Watching The Waves' was only sung halfway, Wu Zhirong was very perceptive, seeing the Imperial Envoy was not interested, he waved his hands, the courtesan immediately stopped singing, saluted, and withdrew. With a forced laugh Wu Zhirong said, "Wei Daren, these two courtesans are the most well-known in Yangzhou, they were singing about the liveliness of Yangzhou. I wonder what does Daren think?"

It never occurred to him that for Wei Xiaobao to listen to songs, first, the singer must be young and good-looking, second, the song must be romantic and simple, third, the way she sang it must be flirtatious. That day when Chen Yuanyuan sang about the downfall of the country, she had the gorgeous appearance, plus she added explanation to the verses all the way through before he could finish listening to the 'Yuanyuan Song'. Right now these two courtesans' appearance was mediocre, their expression stiff, and he did not have any idea what they were singing about. He was only yawning; it could be considered that he was being extremely polite.

Hearing Wu Zhirong's question, he said, "Not bad, not bad, it's just that they are a bit too old. This kind of aging goods and old stock, Xiongdi does not have much appetite."

"Yes, yes," Wu Zhirong said, "Du Mu was a Tang Dynasty man, Qin Shaoyou was a Song man, indeed they are too old-fashioned. There is one new poem, written by a new poet, called Zha Shenxing; he made his name not too long ago. He was writing about the charm of Yangzhou's farmer family girl; it's really fresh, really fresh." Signaling with his hand, he ordered his attendant to summon another courtesan.

When Wei Xiaobao talked about 'aging goods and old stock', he was referring to the courtesans, but Wu Zhirong thought that the songs and poems were too old-fashioned. Wei Xiaobao did not have the slightest idea about the Du Mu or Qin Shaoyou that he was talking about, he did understand, however, about 'the charm of Yangzhou's farmer family girl; it's really fresh, really fresh'. He thought, "Since it's about a very fresh Yangzhou's farmer family girl, there is no harm in taking a look."

When the courtesan entered the flowered canopy, it would be alright if Wei Xiaobao did not look at her, but as soon as he looked, he could not stop anger from rising in his breast, malicious intent arose to the edge of his guts, ready to flare up. Turned out this courtesan, perhaps she was not quite fifty yet, but for sure she was way over forty; there were graying hair on her temples, lots of wrinkles on her forehead. Her eyes should be big and round, but they were thin instead, her mouth should be small, but it was huge instead. Seeing this courtesan was holding a pipa, Wei Xiaobao's anger ablaze; he thought, "Someone like you wants to copy Chen Yuanyuan!"

Soon the strings were plucked, like the sound of jade or leaping pearls, singing oriole or twittering swallow; it was very pleasant to hear. And then she sang, "Reflection of distant mountain on Huai River so bluish-green, overflowing water on Huai River so clear. Inverted image enters the tower, the entire fence is draped with flower. Who would have guessed that outside the marketplace fence and gate the reed hut is still there? When the woman with light makeup appears, her dark green skirt drags a long tail."

Her singing voice was simple yet elegant, each line was accompanied by beautiful segment of pipa melody; sometimes it sounded like gurgling water, other time it sounded like the ringing of silver bells. On the final line 'her dark green skirt drags a long tail', the pipa was diminishing into soft ritardando. None of the government officials did not feel 'their heart untroubled, their spirit pleased'. Some closed their eyes in concentration, some shook and swayed their heads in keeping with the music. When last note of the pipa vanished, the government officials cheered together.

Mu Tianyan said, "Good poem, good song, good pipa. It is indeed chaste tree branch hairpin and plain cloth skirt does not cover 'divine fragrance, national grace' [i.e. outstanding beauty]. It doesn't matter if it is a poem or a song, natural beauty can be seen from simplicity and elegance. This is a first class skill."

"Humph," Wei Xiaobao snorted; he asked the courtesan, "Do you know the song 'Eighteen Touches'? Sing it for me."

As soon as the government officials heard the request, their countenance turned pale. The courtesan's countenance changed even more. Suddenly tears streamed down her face; she turned around and ran out. 'Crash', the pipa in her hands fell to the ground, the courtesan did not even pick it up, she continued running out.

Wei Xiaobao laughed heartily and said, "You can't sing the song, I won't punish you; why are you so scared?"

The 'Eighteen Touches' was actually an extremely obscene folk song, it was about touching eighteen parts of a woman's body, each touch was accompanied by a metaphor to describe it. Although all the government officials had heard this song, but in this grand feast of distinguished assembly, who dared to mention it openly? Wouldn't that be a major disgrace to their reputation as government officials? The courtesan's pipa playing skill and her singing voice had a long standing reputation in Yangzhou. Not only she was good at singing poems, she was also good at composing poems, her fame spread among the high-ranking court officials. Even Yangzhou's rich merchants and powerful families could not casually see her. Wei Xiaobao's request was a major humiliation to her.

Mu Tianyan said in a low voice, "If Wei Daren loves to hear folk songs, we'll find someone who can sing, so you can enjoy it."

"Even the 'Eighteen Touches' she couldn't sing, this old wh0re is really disappointing," Wei Xiaobao said, "Next time I'll take you to Lovely Spring Courtyard at Ming Yu Alley, the prostitutes over there know a lot of folksongs." As soon as those words came out of his mouth, he immediately felt it was improper; he thought, "No matter what I cannot invite him to Lovely Spring Courtyard. Luckily there are a lot of brothels in Yangzhou; for nine brothels with big names, there are nine brothels with small names. Any courtyard will provide the amusement." Lifting up the wine cup, he laughed and said, "Let's drink, let's drink."

When the civil government officers heard his vulgar talks, they all felt embarrassed, they all raised their cups and drank, pretending not to hear anything. The military government officials, however, were delighted; they thought that the Imperial Envoy Minister was somewhat like-minded with them.

Right this moment, he saw a yamen bailiff walked out of the flowered canopy with lowered head. Wei Xiaobao only saw his back, but his heart was moved, "This man's back looks very familiar; who is he?" But the bailiff never returned. After a while, Wei Xiaobao forgot all about him.

After drinking several more cups of wine, Wei Xiaobao felt that socializing with these civil government officials was dull and boring; since there was no opera and no gambling, he was extremely bored. To amuse himself, he sang the 'Eighteen Touches' in his heart, "One touch, two touches, touching the end of Jiejie's [older sister, used in more intimate way] hair." Unable to endure the boredom anymore, he stood up and said, "Xiongdi has enough wine, I'll take my leave now." He bowed with cupped fist toward the inspector-general, the administrative commissioner, the chief police officer, and other high-ranking officials before walking out. All the government officials also arose and send him off, out of the flowered canopy, and waited until he sat on a large sedan chair.

Wei Xiaobao returned to his field headquarters and told his personal guards that he wanted to rest; any guest, no matter who, must not be allowed to see him. Entering his bedroom, he changed into a set of tattered clothing. Several days ago he ordered Shuang'er to go to the marketplace to buy a set of old clothing. He tore the clothing in several place, trampled it on the ground, and poured some lantern oil on it, so that the clothes were unbearably filthy and greasy. His hat, shoes and socks, even the string tying his braid were all exchanged with shabby, low-quality goods. From the wood burning stove he grabbed a handful of ashes, diluted it with water, and smeared it all over his face, his arms and hands. When he looked in the mirror, his appearance had indeed returned to that of the little servant at the Lovely Spring Courtyard many years ago.

Shuang'er helped him changed; she laughed and said, "Xianggong, in the opera there is the Imperial Envoy Minister Bao Longtu

[78] took a disguise to make private investigation; I wonder if he'd look like you?"

"More or less," Wei Xiaobao replied, "But Bao Longtu was born with dark skin, he did not need to rub ashes on his face."

"Is it all right if I go with you?" Shuang'er asked, "You are going alone, if something bad happens, no one is going to help you."

Wei Xiaobao laughed and said, "The place that I am going to, a good looking young lady like you must not go." Finished speaking, he hummed the song, "One touch, two touches, touching the side of my good Shuang'er's cheek …" Reaching out to her, he stroked her face. Shuang'er blushed and giggled, she stepped away to evade.

Wei Xiaobao took a big wad of banknotes and stuffed it into his pocket, he also took a bundle of loose money, grabbed Shuang'er, and lightly kissed her face, before he slipped out from the back door.

The personal guard on guard duty at the back door shouted, "What are you doing?"

Wei Xiaobao said, "I am the He Family's wet-nurse's son's older [male] cousin's younger sister's husband. Do you understand the family relationship?" The personal guard was startled; before he was able to figure out the family relationship, Wei Xiaobao had already slipped out of the door.

None of Yangzhou's main streets and small alleys he did not know thoroughly, so much so that he would not get lost even if he was blindfolded. Not too long afterwards he had already reached the Ming Yu Alley by the bank of Shouxi Lake; faintly he heard from behind the doors everywhere the sound of pan pipes, drum, string and woodwind instruments, intersperse with the sound of finger-guessing game, of singing, and people shouting 'Six!' When these sounds entered his ears, he felt it was ten times better than listening to great immortals' heavenly music; there was an unspeakable comfort and joy in his heart.

When he arrived at the Lovely Spring Courtyard, he saw that the gate and the front courtyard were just as before, there was no difference from when he left many years ago. He quietly walked around to the side, pushed open the side door, and slipped in. He tiptoed toward his mother's room. Peeking inside, he did not see anybody, hence he knew that his mother was accompanying a guest. He mused, "Hot piece mama, I wonder which pest is visiting my Mama this time to be my foster father tonight."

Entering the room, he saw the bedclothes was the same as he remembered it, it's just that it looked a lot more worn-out. He mused, "Mama's business is not too good, my foster fathers are not too many." Turning sideways, he saw his own little bed was still standing against the wall. In front of the bed there was his own pair of old shoes. The bedding on the bed had been washed and starched clean. He walked over and sat down on the bed. Seeing his old bamboo-green long gown was folded neatly on the corner of the bed, there was a tinge of regret in his heart, "Ma is waiting for me to come back. Damn it, Laozi is living merrily in Beijing, I did not send anybody to deliver money to Ma. I really don't have a good heart." He reclined on the bed, waiting for his mother to come back.

The rule in the brothel was that if the patron wanted to stay overnight, another fine, clean and big room would be prepared for them. The prostitutes' own rooms were smaller, and rather simple and crude. Young and beautiful, popular prostitutes would have comparatively better accommodation. Women like Wei Xiaobao's mother, Wei Chunfang, for example, their age was not young anymore, business was scarce; naturally the brothel proprietress treated them very carelessly, their rooms were made of thin boards.

Wei Xiaobao lay down for a while. Suddenly he heard someone in the adjacent room was shouting in stern voice, it was the brothel proprietress' voice, "Laoniang [old lady, referring to self] bought you with white shining silver, you use all kinds of excuses, always refuse to receive patrons. Humph, do you think I bought you to put you in the courtyard to be Bodhisattva Guanyin that we offer sacrifice to, so that we will look good? Beat her; beat her well for me!" Right away there was the sound of whip lashing on flesh, the cry of pain, the weeping, and the cursing noises mixed into one.

Wei Xiaobao was accustomed to hear this kind of noise since he was little; he knew that the brothel proprietress had just bought a young girl, forced her to receive a patron, and whipped her for a while. It was quite common. If the young woman still refused, pricking her fingernail with needle, branding her skin and flesh, all kinds torture could be used on her one by one. This kind of sound never failed to be absent in the brothels. It's just that he had left for a long time that this time he heard the noise again, he felt he was reliving past experience. Toward the young girl, however, he did not feel any pity.

The young girl cried and said, "Just beat me to death; I won't receive any patron even if I am dead, I'd rather bash my head against the wall and let you see!"

The brothel proprietress instructed the 'turtle slave' to beat her fiercely. After twenty, thirty lashes, the young girl was still crying and shouting that she would not give in. The turtle slave said, "We can't beat her anymore today, let's talk it over again tomorrow."

The brothel proprietress said, "Drag this little s1ut out."

The turtle slave helped the young girl out. A moment later he came back. The brothel proprietress said, "This s1ut is impossibly stubborn, we must use soft technique, give her Mi Chun [lit. confused/lost spring] wine."

The turtle slave said, "She won't drink wine."

"Idiot!" the brothel proprietress said, "Put the Mi Chun wine inside the meat. That will do the trick."

"Yes, yes," the turtle slave said, "Qi Jie [seventh (older) sister], you are just amazing!"

Wei Xiaobao peeped through a crack on the wooden partition, and saw the brothel proprietress was standing in front of the cupboard; she took out a bottle of wine, and poured a cup, which she then gave to the turtle slave. He heard her saying, "Have Chunfang accompany those two gongzi [young master] drink. The money they bring is indeed not a few. They said they want to stay overnight in the courtyard, waiting for a friend. This kind of young, inexperienced people would not fancy Chunfang, later I will talk to them, to see if they want to 'comb the covering' of this s1ut. If we are lucky, I won't be surprised if we'll swindle three, four hundred taels from them."

The turtle slave laughed and said, "Congratulations Qi Jie on ushering in wealth and prosperity; I will also hold on to your good fortune, that way I will strike my gambling debt in one stroke."

The brothel proprietress cursed, "Lowly road kill [orig. lowly embryo, a corpse who died along the road], painstakingly we earn several taels, and you lost it all in thirty-two domino tiles. This is not good, watch out or I'll cut your turtle tail."

Wei Xiaobao knew that Mi Chun wine was a type of drug wine, those who drink it will lose their conscience. All brothels used this kind of drug toward young prostitutes who were unwilling to receive guests. When he was little, he thought this was very mysterious, but now he realized that it was no more than knockout drug mixed into the wine; to him this matter became very ordinary. He thought, "Today my foster fathers are two young gongzi? What kind of fellow are they? I must take a look."

He quietly slipped away toward the Sweet Nectar Hall, where they usually received rich merchant or grand guests. He stood on the round stone block outside the hall where he used to stand and peeked inside. In the past, whenever there was a grand guest coming to visit the brothel, he would always stand on this round stone block to peep inside, right here the crack on the window was especially big, when he looked inside, he could get a very clear view. The guests usually sat with their side to the window, hence they never saw any shadow outside the window. He had peeped several hundred times before, and had never bumped into a nail.

He saw the red candle inside the room was burning hot, his mother's face was covered in makeups, she wore a pink satin gown, and a red flower on her head; she was pouring wine for the guests with a smile on her face. Wei Xiaobao took a good look at his mother; he thought, "Turns out Ma is already old; she won't be in this business for long, only blind pest like these two rookies can possibly call her to accompany them drinking. Ma's folksong is also not too pleasant to hear; if it were me who visited the courtyard, if she were not my Ma, even if I lose twelve-hundred taels I would not have called her."

He heard his mother said with a laugh, "When two gongzi drink this cup, I will sing 'Lovesickness Before Dawn' tune to accompany you downing your wine."

Wei Xiaobao sighed inwardly; he mused, "Ma's folksongs are very limited; if not 'Lovesickness Before Dawn' [orig. thinking of each other at the fifth hour (between 3-5am)], then it must be 'One Straight Black Bamboo Sprout', or 'One Folding Fan Seven Cun Long', or 'One Person Fanning Two Persons Cool Down'. She never wanted to learn some more. As a prostitute, she is not diligent." Suddenly he had a brainwave and almost burst out laughing, "In learning martial art I am not diligent either; turns out my lazy character I inherited from Ma."

Suddenly he heard a tender and delicate voice saying, "No need!" As soon as he heard these three words [bu yong le], Wei Xiaobao's entire body shook, he almost slipped down from the stone block. Slowly he squinted and saw a slender jade-white hand holding a wine cup; his eyes traced the delicate hand through the sleeve and up to the face. He saw the side of a pretty face; who else but Ah Ke? Wei Xiaobao's heart leaped in joy, the surprise and delight in his heart was hard to suppress. "How could Ah Ke be in Yangzhou?" he mused, "How could she come to the Lovely Spring Courtyard and called my Ma to accompany her drinking? She's a woman dressed as a man and did not call anybody else but only my Ma, she must be eager to see me. Turns out in the end she still has conscience, she remembered that I am her husband who has bowed to the heaven and the earth with her. Aha! Wonderful, wonderful! You and I, husband and wife are having reunion, today we can have wedding festivities [orig. bridal room and ornamented candles], I will wrap my arms around you …"

Suddenly he heard a male voice, "Right now Wu Xiandi [worthy brother surnamed Wu] is not drinking anything, but when those Mongolian friends arrived …" Wei Xiaobao's ears were buzzing; immediately he knew things were far from good. Before his eyes the sky spun and the earth went around, for a moment his eyes were blurry; he closed his eyes and calmed himself. When he opened his eyes and looked at the young master who was sitting by Ah Ke, he saw who else but Taiwan's Er Gongzi [second young master] Zheng Keshuang?

Wei Xiaobao's mother Wei Chunfang said with a laugh, "Since Xiao Xianggong [little/younger 'young master'] does not drink, Da Xianggong [big/older 'young master'] must drink one more cup." While pouring a cup of wine for Zheng Keshuang, her butts sat on Zheng Keshuang's lap.

"Hey," Ah Ke said, "Show some respect."

Wei Chunfang laughed and said, "Aiyo, Xiao Xianggong's face is too tender, you cannot bear to see this kind of teasing. After this you should come here every day to have fun, I am afraid you will not like it if people do not flirt with you enough. Xiao Xianggong, let me get a young miss to accompany you, what do you say?"

"No, no, don't!" Ah Ke busily said, "You sit nicely on the side!"

Wei Chunfang laughed and said, "Ah, you are jealous! You blame me for accompanying Da Xianggong and not you." She stood up, and sat on Ah Ke's lap.

When Wei Xiaobao saw that, he was irritated, but amused at the same time. He thought, "Unexpectedly there is such thing in the world, my wife came to patronize ['visit a prostitute'] my Mama."

He saw Ah Ke stretched out her hand to push. Wei Chunfang could not stand, she spun and fell on her buttocks. Wei Xiaobao was enraged; he thought, "Little wh0re, you pushed your mother-in-law; so lacking in manners!"

But Wei Chunfang was not angry, with a giggle she stood up and said, "Xiao Xianggong is afraid of disgrace; how about you come and sit on my lap?"

Ah Ke angrily said, "Not good!" [A bit of explanation: when asking 'is it alright?', Chinese use the phrase 'hao bu hao?' (good or not good)] She turned to Zheng Keshuang and said, "I want to leave! We can meet people any place, but why did you insist on this place?"

Zheng Keshuang said, "We have agreed to meet here; we won't leave until we meet. I did not know that this is actually a dirty place. Hey, I want you to sit properly." The last sentence was directed toward Wei Chunfang.

The more Wei Xiaobao thought, the angrier he got; he mused, "That day in Guangxi by the River Liujiang, you pleaded laozi to spare your dog life, you swore a heavy oath that you would not speak to my wife even for one word. Today, in spite of everything, you came together to patronize my Mama. Patronizing my Mama is still alright, but you have spoken I don't know how many thousand words, tens of thousand words. That day I did not cut your tongue, it was really laozi's biggest blunder."

Wei Chunfang was in high spirit, she reached out to wrap her arm around Zheng Keshuang's neck. Zheng Keshuang pushed her arm away and said, "Wait for us outside. The two of us brothers have something we need to discuss, don't come in before I call you."

Wei Chunfang had no choice but to leave the room. Zheng Keshuang lowered his voice, "Ke Mei [younger sister, term of endearment], small disturbance must not harm big scheme, if we want to accomplish big thing, we have to endure small inconvenience."

Ah Ke said, "That Prince Galdan is not a good person, why would he want us to meet him here?"

Hearing the words 'Prince Galdan', Wei Xiaobao mused, "That Mongolian scoundrel is also coming; marvelous, marvelous. Most likely they are going to discuss rebellion plan. Laozi can move an army and send a general to catch them in one net."

He heard Zheng Keshuang said, "These days Yangzhou's security is so tight. If the guests to the inns and hotels are not frequent visitors, the yamen and local military troops would ask endless questions. If we reveal the least bit of our background, it would not be good at all. This brothel does not have any officers coming to harass us, it is much safer for us to stay here. You and I are still alright, but Prince Galdan and his party, a group of Mongolians' appearance will be too conspicuous. Besides, with your appearance like an immortal, if we stayed in an inn, all Yangzhou's men would want to come to see you. Sooner or later something bad will happen."

Ah Ke let out some soft giggles, "You don't need to be oily-mouthed and smooth talker to fawn on me."

Zheng Keshuang stretched out his arm around her shoulder, and landed a light kiss on the corner of her mouth. He said with a laugh, "When was I ever be oily-mouthed and smooth talker? If there was any immortal as beautiful as you, those Lu Chunyang, Iron Crutch Li, and the others would not want to descend to the world, all deities would stay in Heaven, unable to take their eyes off my little treasure."

"Pfft," Ah Ke stifled her laughter, and lowered her head. Wei Xiaobao's rage shot to the heavens, he could not endure it anymore; his hand reached his dagger, he was ready to charge inside. Immediately he had a second thought, "This fellow's martial art skill is stronger than mine. Ah Ke will definitely help him. If I rush in, this adulterous couple will surely murder her own husband. In the world, people can be anything, except big wanderer without martial art skill." Thereupon he struggled to suppress his anger, and had no choice but to close his eyes so that he would not see the intimacy of those two people.

He heard Ah Ke said, "Gege [big brother, term of endearment], actually …" As soon as she said this word, 'Gege', Wei Xiaobao's heart was filled with bitterness and anger. "Damn it," he mused, "No sense of shame at all; you even call him 'Gege'."

He did not hear the rest of Ah Ke's words, but he heard Zheng Keshuang said, "He is in the open, while we are in the dark. Galdan's warriors are really formidable; leave it to me, this time we will definitely stab several open holes on his body."

"That fellow really bullies intolerably," Ah Ke said, "If this hatred is not avenged, all my life I won't be happy. Did you know that I originally did not want to acknowledge my father? It was simply because he promised that he would send eight martial art experts to accompany me dealing with this matter that I finally agreed to acknowledge him."

Wei Xiaobao said in his heart, "Who offended you? If you want revenge, you can simply tell your husband. Nothing is impossible, you did not need to acknowledge Wu Sangui, that big traitor as your father."

Zheng Keshuang said, "It's really not difficult to stab him dead, it's just that the Tatars officers and men are taking strict precautions. After assassinating him, to withdraw and escape alive is not too easy. We have to think an entirely different strategy before we make our move."

Ah Ke said, "Father promised to send people to kill him was not entirely for my sake. He wants to deploy his troops to attack the Tatars, and this man is a major roadblock. He instructed me that I should never let Ma know, I suspect he has his own selfish reason."

"Have you told your Ma?" Zheng Keshuang asked.

Ah Ke shook her head, "I have not," she said, "In this kind of matter, the more secretive the better. You never know, Ma might say something to stop me. If I did not obey her, that won't be good. I might as well not say anything to her."

Wei Xiaobao wondered, "Who is it that she wants to assassinate? Why is this person a roadblock to Wu Sangui's plan of deploying his troops?"

He heard Zheng Keshuang said, "These days I am watching his coming and going, the security is indeed very tight, it is very difficult to come near him. I gave it a lot of thought, this fellow is a lecher, someone disguised as a courtesan might be able to get very close to him."

"A lecher?" Wei Xiaobao wondered in his heart, "Is he talking about Futai [inspector-general]? Or Fantai [vassal state governor]?"

"Only if Shijie and I disguise ourselves," Ah Ke said, "But I don't want to disguise myself as that kind of lowly woman."

"Or we attempt to bribe the cook," Zheng Keshuang said, "Put some poison in his wine."

Ah Ke hatefully said, "Killing him by poison, my anger cannot be vented. I want to chop his hands, to cut his tongue that always talks nonsense to me! That little demon, I … I hate him!"

As soon as the three words 'that little demon' entered his ears, Wei Xiaobao's head spun. Instantly he understood; he said repeatedly in his heart, "Turns out you want to kill your own husband." Although he knew that Ah Ke wholeheartedly leaned toward Zheng Keshuang, he had never imagined that she hated him that much. "When did I ever offend you?" he wondered in his heart.

This doubt was instantly answered, as he heard Zheng Keshuang said, "Ke Mei, this fellow is infatuated with you, he has never dared to offend you the least bit. I know the reason you wanted to kill him is because you want to vent my anger. You have this kind of affection to me, I … I really don't know how to repay you."

Ah Ke said in a gentle voice, "I hate him more for humiliating you one part compared to him humiliating me ten parts. If he beats me, curses me, I look at Shifu's face, and swallow my hatred, but toward you he … he repeatedly treated you that rude. When I remember it, I really wish I could make mincemeat of him."

"Ke Mei," Zheng Keshuang said, "How about if I repay you right now?" His right arm also reached out to embrace her body. Ah Ke's face looked so lovely and bashful, she buried her head in his bosom.

Wei Xiaobao's heart was aching, angry, and bitter at the same time. Suddenly his head was jerked back, somebody grabbed his braid. He was greatly shocked; immediately afterwards somebody twisted his ear. He was about to scream when a voice that he was very familiar with spoke near his ear in a low voice, "Little b@stard, come with me!" [the word here is 'wang ba dan' – turtle (derogatory way) egg]In all his life, he could not remember how many hundreds or thousands times he has heard this scolding 'little b@astard'; without thinking he obeyed immediately. The grabbing of his braid and the twisting of his ear was executed very skillfully; it was also something that he could not remember how many hundreds or thousands times he has had his braid pulled and his ear twisted like that. He knew it was his mother Wei Chunfang.

The two of them arrived at her room. Wei Chunfang kicked backward to slam the door closed. As soon as she released his braid and ear, Wei Xiaobao called out, "Ma! I am back!"

Wei Chunfang stared at him for quite a long time. Suddenly she threw herself onto him and hugged him tightly, while crying and sobbing uncontrollably. Wei Xiaobao laughed and said, "Haven't I come back to see you? Why are you crying?"

Still sobbing and sniffling, Wei Chunfang said, "Did you die? Where did you go? I looked for you everywhere inside and outside Yangzhou, I beseeched the deity and worshipped Buddha, I don't know how many times I raised my prayers, how many times I knocked my head. Dear Xiaobao, finally you return to Mother's ['niang'] side."

Wei Xiaobao laughed and said, "I am not a child anymore, I went out to roam outside, you don't have to worry."

With tears still in her eyes, Wei Chunfang's eyes were blurry. She saw her son had grown tall, his build was thick and solid, she was very happy. She broke into crying again and scolded him, "You little b@stard, without saying anything to your Niang, you went away that long. This time if I don't ferociously feed you sautéed bamboo shoots in meat, little b@stard won't know his laoniang's fierceness."

The so-called 'sautéed bamboo shoots in meat' was spanking of his bottoms by feather duster with bamboo stick handle. Wei Xiaobao has not had that in a very long time. Upon hearing his mother, he could not help but laughing in amusement.

Wei Chunfang also laughed. She took out her handkerchief to rub the mud and filth from his face. After wiping for a while, she looked down and saw the front lapel of her new satin gown was stained with tears and snoot, plus a lot of charcoal ashes from her son's face; she could not help but feeling upset. 'Slap!' she heavily struck his face and scolded him, "This is my new clothes, I just sewed it to celebrate the New Year three years ago, I haven't worn it quite several times yet. Little b@stard, you came back is not a good thing, you made your laoniang's new clothes dirty. How am I going to accompany the guests?"

Seeing how his mother treasuring the new clothes, making noises with flushed face and looked very angry, Wei Xiaobao laughed and said, "Ma, don't worry about your new clothes. Tomorrow I am going to have a hundred new clothes sewn for you, they will be ten times better than this one."

Wei Chunfang angrily said, "Little b@stard can only talk big; what kind of skill do you have? Looking at your revolting behavior, can you get rich outside and come back here?"

Wei Xiaobao said, "Riches, I haven't gotten any, but my gambling luck has been good, I won some money."

Wei Chunfang had a 30% confidence in her son's ability to cheat in gambling; she held out her palm and said, "Give it to me! When you have a bit of money in you, not too long afterwards you would spend it all."

Wei Xiaobao laughed and said, "This time I won really big, too big that no matter what I cannot spend it all."

Wei Chunfang raised her palm and slapped him again. Wei Xiaobao ducked, the palm missed. He thought, "As soon as she sees me she wants to beat me. I have the Princess in the north, and my laoniang in the south."

He was just putting his hand into his pocket to get some money out when the turtle slave outside called, "Chunfang, the guests want you. Come quickly!"

"I am coming!" Wei Chunfang said. She walked over to the table and picked the mirror box, hurriedly put up some cosmetics in front of the mirror inside the lid of the box. "Just lie down here," she said, "When Laoniang is back, I want to examine you carefully. You … you must not go away!"

Wei Xiaobao saw his mother's eyes were brimming with concern, she was afraid that he would be gone missing again, thereupon he laughed and said, "I am not leaving, don't worry!"

"Little b@stard," Wei Chunfang cursed again, but her face looked happy. Brushing off her clothes, she left the room.

Wei Xiaobao lay down on the bed, he pulled the quilt to cover himself. He only lay down for a moment, Wei Chunfang was back in the room, carrying a wine pot. Seeing her son was lying on the bed, she was relieved. She turned around to go out. Wei Xiaobao knew that Zheng Keshuang ordered her to get more wine. Suddenly he had an idea. "Ma," he said, "Are you getting some wine for the customer?"

"Right," Wei Chunfang replied, "Just lie down nicely for me, when Ma returns, I will swindle something good for you to eat."

"Get some more wine," Wei Xiaobao said, "Let me drink some."

"Gluttonous ghost," Wei Chunfang scolded him, "Little child is not supposed to drink wine." She took the wine pot away.

Hastily Wei Xiaobao peeked through the wooden partition. Seeing nobody in the adjacent room, like an arrow he dashed out of the room and entered the adjacent room, opened the cupboard and took the brothel proprietress' bottle of Mi Chun wine, returned to his own room and hid the bottle underneath the quilt. Pulling the cork out, he said in his heart, "Zheng Keshuang you little b@stard [the word here is 'za zhong' – mixed breed], you want to put poison in my wine, today laozi will strike first and gain the upper hand!"

Before long, Wei Chunfang returned, carrying a pot brimming with wine. Upon entering the room, she said, "Quickly drink two mouthfuls."

Still lying down on the bed, Wei Xiaobao received the wine pot. He sat up and drank a mouthful. Wei Chunfang looked at her son stealing brothel patron's drink, she was not able to refrain her face from revealing overflowing tenderness.

"Ma," Wei Xiaobao said, "There is a big soot on your face."

Wei Chunfang hastily went to the mirror to look. Wei Xiaobao brought the wine pot into the quilt, and poured more than half a bottle of the Mi Chun wine.

Seeing her face was clean, without any soot in sight, Wei Chunfang realized that her son had been playing trick with her, to get her attention away from him, so that he could steal a big mouthful of wine. She turned around at once, snatched the wine pot and cursed, "Little b@stard came out of laoniang's belly; how could I not know your trick? Humph, formerly you could not drink wine, after loitering around outside these days, you learned all kinds of bad deeds."

"Ma," Wei Xiaobao said, "That Xiao Xianggong's temperament is not good. No matter what you must give him several more cups to drink. After he is drunk and does not make any sound, it will be easier to swindle that Da Xianggong's money."

Wei Chunfang said, "Laoniang has been in this business all my life, do I still need you to teach me this child's play?" But in her heart she secretly agreed that her son's idea was good. She also thought, "Little b@stard is home, this is indeed a tremendously happy occasion. Tonight I'd better not have any pest asking me to spend the night with him, laoniang wants to be with my son." Taking the wine pot, she hurriedly left.

Wei Xiaobao lay back down on the bed, anger and complacency alternated in his mind, he thought, "Laozi is really lucky. That stinky thief surnamed Zheng did not visit other prostitute, he came here to give me advantage, he wanted to be laozi's foster father. Let's see if I don't stab him with a sword and scatter some corpse transforming powder." He thought about how after sprinkling some corpse transforming powder on his wound, Zheng Keshuang would soon turn into a puddle of yellow liquid; when Ah Ke's drunkenness was over, her 'Gege' would have been disappeared without a trace, his whereabouts unknown, even if she broke her head she would never figure out what happened. "Damn it," he mused, "If you want to call your 'Gege', quickly call him several more time. Very soon you won't be able to call at all."

He was very happy. Crawling out of his bed, he went back to the Sweet Nectar Hall to peek inside. He saw Zheng Keshuang had just downed a cup of wine. Ah Ke had a cup on her lips, which she daintily sipped. Wei Xiaobao was greatly delighted, he saw his mother poured another cup for Zheng Keshuang. Zheng Keshuang waved his hand and said, "Out, out, we don't need you to serve."

Wei Chunfang complied. When she put down the wine pot, her sleeve covered a dish of sliced ham. Wei Xiaobao smiled and said in his heart, "I am going to eat some ham tonight." He hastily returned to the room.

Not too long afterwards, Wei Chunfang came back with a plate of sliced ham. She laughed and said, "Little b@stard, when you were dead outside, did you have this kind of good food to eat?" Grinning from ear to ear she sat on the bed, watching her son eating with gusto; she felt better than if she was eating it herself.

"Ma," Wei Xiaobao asked, "Did you drink the wine?"

"I did, several cups," Wei Chunfang replied, "If I drank some more I am afraid I will be drunk, and then you'll slip away."

Wei Xiaobao thought, "If I did not drug Mama, I could not achieve big thing." He said, "I won't leave. Ma, I haven't accompanied you sleeping for a long time. Tonight don't go to keep those two pests company, you stay here with me."

Wei Chunfang was greatly delighted; her son hated to leave her like this, the last time it happened he was about seven, eight years old. She could not believe that after suffering outside, he finally remembered to love his mother. She could not help but beaming with joy as she said, "Alright, tonight Niang will accompany obedient Xiaobao to sleep."

"Ma," Wei Xiaobao said, "Although I was outside, I remembered you every day. Come, let me take your clothes off."

His bootlicking skill had been used on the Emperor, the Cult Leader, the Princess and his masters; it was honed to perfection. Presently he was using it on his own mother, unexpectedly he received an unusual reaction. Wei Chunfang was used to social interaction with the patrons of the brothel, men's hand groping her body, she just hardened her heart. But when her own son's hand was extended to unbutton her clothes, she could not stop her body from turning weak; she let out a giggle. After Wei Xiaobao took off his mother's outer clothes, he proceeded by loosening her trousers' belt. "Pei," Wei Chunfang spat, and gently slapped his hand; she said with a laugh, "I can do it myself." Suddenly she felt shy, she went inside the quilt and took off her trousers, and from underneath the quilt she put it on top the quilt.

Wei Xiaobao fished two ingots of silver, altogether worth more than thirty taels, and stuffed it into his mother's hand; he said, "Ma, I am giving this to you."

Wei Chunfang was very happy; suddenly she burst into tears. "I … I'll keep it for you," she said, "In … in a few years I'll give it back to you to get yourself a wife."

Wei Xiaobao said in his heart, "I already have." He blew the oil lantern off and said, "Ma, quickly sleep. I will wait for you to fall asleep, before I go to sleep myself."

Wei Chunfang laughed and said, "Little b@stard, you really have a lot of tricks," and then she closed her eyes.

She was tired after working all day, plus she drank several cups of wine; seeing her son returned, she was unbearably happy. As soon as she closed her eyes, it did not take long before she dozed off.

As soon as Wei Xiaobao heard her snore, he tiptoed toward the door. An idea struck him, hence he returned and took his mother's trousers and tossed it on top of the mosquito net; he thought, "When she wakes up, without trousers she won't be able to catch me."

He went outside Sweet Nectar Hall, and saw Zheng Keshuang splayed on his chair face up, and Ah Ke slumped face down on the table; they were both motionless. Wei Xiaobao was greatly delighted; he waited for a moment, seeing that the two of them were still unmoving, he entered the hall. He was about to close the door behind him when he suddenly had a second thought, "There is no hurry to close the door. If this fellow only pretend to be drunk, I can't escape if the door is closed."

Pulling his dagger, he walked over to him, and pushed Zheng Keshuang with his right hand. He was completely motionless; it was obvious that he had lost his consciousness. Wei Xiaobao also pushed Ah Ke; she mumbled something, but did not sit up. He thought, "The wine she drank was too little; I am afraid she will wake up soon, and that will be dangerous."

Inserting the dagger back into his boot, he propped her up until she was sitting up. Ah Ke's eyes were closed, "Gege," she mumbled incoherently, "I … I can't drink anymore."

Wei Xiaobao said in a low voice, "Good Meizi, drink one more cup." He poured a cup full of wine and pushed it into her little mouth with his left hand that the wine trickled down. Still in a daze Ah Ke swallowed the Mi Chun drugged wine. Wei Xiaobao said in his heart, "You and laozi have bowed to the Heaven and the Earth in an official wedding, you were unwilling to celebrate the wedding festivities with your husband, but came to Lovely Spring Courtyard to be a little wh0re, you want your husband to be the pest who 'comb your covering'. You are indeed a lowly pervert."

Ah Ke's beauty was originally matchless. Now that she was drunk, under the red candle's light, she looked even more 'thousand-adorable hundred-charm'. Wei Xiaobao's sexual desire was greatly aroused. No longer cared whether Zheng Keshuang was dead or alive, drunk or awake, he carried Ah Ke in his arms toward the large bedroom next to the Sweet Nectar Hall.

The large bedroom was prepared for grand patrons who wanted to spend the night. The big bed was at least six chi [foot] wide. The mattress and quilt were embroidered, the furnishing was magnificent. Wei Xiaobao gently put Ah Ke down on the bed. He went back outside to pick the candlestick, which he put on the table next to the head of the bed. Looking at Ah Ke's rosy complexion, he could not stop his heart from thumping madly. Leaning over her, he took her long robe, exposing her thin, close-fitting light green undergarment.

He reached out to loosen the knots on her thin underpants, suddenly he heard footsteps behind his back; someone was rushing in. He was about to turn around when his braid tightened, his ear was twisted; once again he was grabbed by Wei Chunfang. "Ma," Wei Xiaobao said in a low voice, "Let go, quickly!"

"Little b@stard," Wei Chunfang cursed, "Although we are poor, we must not violate the courtyard's rule. Among the nine famous courtyards of Yangzhou, which one ever had the guest's money stolen? Quickly return it!"

"I did not steal anybody's money," Wei Xiaobao anxiously said.

Wei Chunfang pulled his braid as hard as she could, and forcefully dragged him back to their own room. She scolded, "If you did not steal money, why did you take people's clothes off? These several tens of taels, you must have become little thief and stole it. I raised you up with great trouble, it had never occurred to me that you would become a thief." In her bitter anger, she burst into tears. She took the two ingots of silver at the head of the bed and threw it to the floor.

Wei Xiaobao found it hard to explain; if he said that the guest was a woman dressing up as a man, and that she was his own wife, one, it was complicated and was not easy to express succinctly, two, no matter what his mother would not believe him. He could only say, "Why would I want to steal anybody's money? Look, I have a lot of money." From his pocket he took out the big wad of banknotes. "Ma," he said, "I wanted to give all this money to you, but I was afraid I might scare you off, hence I am going to give it to you slowly."

Wei Chunfang saw several dozen sheets of banknotes worth several hundred taels each, she was so scared that her eyes grew big. "This … this … little thief," she stammered, "You … you … didn't you take this from those two xianggong? Even if you re-enter the womb and reincarnate as little b@stard ten lifetimes, you won't make this much money. Quickly return other people's money, we do business in the courtyard, if we have the ability, we may swindle other people's money a hundred or eighty thousand taels, but the pest has to be most willing to do it, he has to present it with both hands. If you ever steal one thing from other people, Er Lang Shen [deity with three eyes] would never spare you, you will still do the same thing to earn a living in your next life. Xiaobao, Niang is doing this for your own good!" When she spoke the fast few sentences, her tone turned gentle. She also said, "When those people wake up tomorrow and do not see this much money, won't they raise a ruckus? And then officials from yamen will come to investigate, they will arrest you, won't they beat you until your skin breaks and your flesh rotten? Obedient Xiaobao, we cannot covet this much money belonging to other people."

After talking back and forth, the bottom line was that she wanted her son to return the money. Wei Xiaobao thought, "Ma making a lot of fuss, this matter cannot be explained succinctly. If the noise reaches the brothel proprietress, the turtle would find out, everybody will make a fuss, then this matter will turn for the worst." His heart was moved, he had an idea, "Alright, alright," he said, "Ma, I will listen to you."

Pulling his mother's hand along, he went back to the Sweet Nectar Hall, and stuffed his wad of banknotes into Zheng Keshuang's pocket. He pulled his own two pockets inside out and brushed his body, saying, "I don't even have one tael left on me; you feel better?"

Wei Chunfang sighed and said, "Good, you are doing the right thing."

Returning to their own room, Wei Xiaobao noticed that his mother was wearing a pair of old trousers, he could not help but scoffing. Wei Chunfang bent her finger and knocked his forehead with her knuckle; she scolded, "I woke up to use the toilet, and could not find my trousers, hence I knew you were not doing a good thing." Finished speaking, she could not refrain from laughing.

"Aiyo, not good," Wei Xiaobao said, "I need to sh1t." Hugging his belly, he rushed out.

Wei Chunfang was afraid he might return to Sweet Nectar Hall; seeing he was running toward the latrine [orig. thatched hut] at the back garden, she was relieved. "You want to go to the reception hall again, you won't escape laoniang's eyes," she mused.

Wei Xiaobao exited from the side door and dashed back to the He Garden. The personal guard on duty raised his arms to block, "What do you want?" he shouted.

"I am the Imperial Envoy Minister," Wei Xiaobao said, "Don't you know me?"

The personal guard was startled; he looked closer, indeed it was the imperial envoy minister. "Yes, it's Daren …" he hastily said.

Without waiting for him to finish, Wei Xiaobao quickly returned to his room and said, "Good Shuang'er, quick, quick, help me change back into Imperial Envoy Minister." While talking, he pulled off the long robe he was wearing.

Shuang'er served him washing his face and changing his clothes; she said with a laugh, "Imperial Envoy Minister going out to make personal investigation, have you found the actual facts?"

"I have," Wei Xiaobao replied, "We are going to make arrest right now. Quickly wear your personal guard uniform, go get eight personal guards and follow me."

"Do you want me to get Xu Laoyezi [old master] and the others?" Shuang'er asked.

Wei Xiaobao thought, "Zheng Keshuang and Ah Ke are already unconscious, just stretch a hand and grab it, it's going to be as easy as blowing off dust. If Xu Tianchuan and the others come with me, they won't let me kill that stinky fellow surnamed Zheng. Taking personal guards with me, I can put on airs and scare my Niang, scare the brothel proprietress, the turtle." Thereupon he said, "No need."

Shuang'er put on her personal guard uniform, "How about taking Miss Zeng along?" she asked.

Within the personal guard squad, only she and Zeng Rou were women dressed as men. These days these two girls were in contact with each other, and were already very close to each other. Wei Xiaobao thought, "If I want to carry Ah Ke back here, Shuang'er alone cannot do it, I must have two persons carrying her. Imperial Envoy Daren cannot do the job himself in front of other people, and I can't let any personal guard's stinky hands touch my wife's fragrant body, can I?" He said, "Very well, you may take her along. Just don't call those Wangwu Pai people."

Zeng Rou quickly put on the personal guard uniform and was ready in a short time. Leading the two women and eight personal guards, Wei Xiaobao returned to the Lovely Spring Courtyard. Two personal guards went up to knock on the door, "Canjiang [administrator/colonel] Daren is here," they shouted, "Quickly open the door and greet him." The personal guards were instructed to say that Wei Xiaobao was a Canjiang; to scare the brothel proprietress and the turtle, a Canjiang is more than enough.

After beating the door for half a day, the main gate was finally creaking open, a turtle slave came out to meet them. "Visitors!" he shouted. The word was called out in such a bored way.

Wei Xiaobao was afraid he might be recognized, he did not dare to look at the man. A personal guard shouted, "Canjiang Laoye [old master] personally arrived, tell laobao [brothel keeper] to serve him well."

Wei Xiaobao went to the main hall, the brothel proprietress came out to greet him; she did not even look at Wei Xiaobao as she said, "Laoye please come to the reception pavilion for some tea."

Wei Xiaobao said in his heart, "It's best that you did not look at me, so that you won't recognize me; I also don't need to see my Ma. I ought to simply tell them to bring Ah Ke and Zheng Keshuang out and leave this place." However, usually this brothel proprietress was very attentive in receiving the guests, she was even more deferential and polite toward government officials, yet today she was that cold, the way she spoke was very odd, unconsciously he was rather astonished.

When he entered the Sweet Nectar Hall, he saw that the feast had not been cleaned up, Zheng Keshuang was still splaying face up on the chair. He was about to give order when suddenly a man with magnificent attire walked in. "Wei Daren, how are you?" the man said.

Wei Xiaobao was startled. "How did you know me?" he mused, and looked at him. His shock was not a small matter. Immediately he stooped down to pull the dagger from his boot, suddenly his hand tightened; somebody behind him grabbed his wrist, and coldly said, "Sit down nicely, don't make unnecessary move!" With his left hand the man grabbed the back of Wei Xiaobao's neck and lifted him up and dropped him into a chair.

Wei Xiaobao groaned secretly. He heard Shuang'er's tender voice shouting and yelling as she fought the man. Zeng Rou also stepped forward to join the fray. A young master in brocade clothes sent a palm to hack at her, the two of them immediately fought. Wei Xiaobao focused his attention to look, turned out this young master in brocade clothes was a woman dressed as a man, she was none other than Ah Ke's martial older sister Ah Qi. The man fighting Shuang'er was tall and thin, he was actually Tibetan Lama Sangjie; only right now he was wearing casual clothes, complete with a hat on his head and a fake braid. The first man with magnificent attire was Mongolian Prince Galdan.

"I am too muddleheaded," Wei Xiaobao mused, "I plainly heard Zheng Keshuang said that they have an appointment with Galdan in here; why didn't I guard against this? As soon as I saw Ah Ke, I was in a daze that I don't even remember laozi's own surname. Damn it, laozi's surname, I actually do not know; no wonder …"

He heard Shuang'er cried out, "Aiyo," as the acupoint on her waist was sealed by Sangjie, and she fell to the ground. In the meantime, Zeng Rou was still engaged in fierce battle with Ah Qi. Although Ah Qi's style was exquisite, her attacks were lacking strength; several times she hit Zeng Rou, but failed to injure her. Sangjie came over, and in just two moves he was able to seal Zeng Rou's acupoint too. The eight personal guards either had their acupoint sealed by Sangjie, or were killed by Galdan; their bodies were scattered around the courtyard outside the hall.

Sangjie let out a 'hey, hey' laugh and sat down. "Wei Daren," he said, "Where is your Shifu?" While saying that, he stretched out both his hands with the fingers right in front of Wei Xiaobao's face.

Wei Xiaobao saw that all ten of his fingers were short by one section; human fingers originally have three sections, right now his fingers only have two sections left. It looked extremely strange and scary. Wei Xiaobao groaned inwardly, "That day he flipped through the Sutra, the tips of his fingers were moistened by my poison. This man is unexpectedly very ruthless; he has the heart to cut his own ten fingers. Today laozi has fallen into his hands, if he wants to take revenge, he would chopped all my ten fingers, which is not a big deal; but what if he also want to cut a section of my head?"

Seeing that Wei Xiaobao was so scared that he was merely staring blankly; Sangjie was very proud of himself. "Wei Daren," he said, "That day I saw you were just a small kid, I did not know that you are a person of high rank within the imperial court; I have offended you much."

"I don't dare to accept the honor," Wei Xiaobao replied, "That day I only thought you were an ordinary Lama, I did not know that you are a really great hero; I have offended you much."

"Humph," Sangjie snorted; he asked, "How do you know I am a hero?"

Wei Xiaobao replied, "Someone put violent poison on the Sutra, with the intention of harming my Shifu. Shifu was able to see through the scheme, she did not dare to reach out and touch it. You insisted on looking at the Sutra, my Shifu had no other choice but to give it to you. Great Lama, after your fingers were poisoned, you made prompt decision to chop your fingers at once, it is really amazing! People swipe their own neck to suicide is easy, people chop their own ten fingers, since ancient times there has never been one great hero who had done it. Back then Guan Yunchang scraped his bone to remove poison, without knitting a single brow, but it was someone else who scrape his bone for him; for him to chop his own fingers, I don't think he can do that. You are more formidable than Guan Yunchang; doesn't it mean that you are a great hero, the first under heaven since ancient times?"

Unconsciously, a hint of smile appeared on the Great Lama's grim face. "Wei Daren," he said, "We found out that you have graced Yangzhou with your presence; hence we all agreed to meet you here. You especially caused trouble for Ping Xi Wang, spoiling not a few of his, the Senior's important matters. When the Prince Consort wanted to return to Yunnan to visit his family, he was also blocked by you; is that right?"

Wei Xiaobao said, "Gentlemen's information is actually very quick, it is indeed incredible! This time I left the Capital, I wonder if Gentlemen knew what His Majesty instructed me to do."

"Please advise," Sangjie said.

"With pleasure, with pleasure," Wei Xiaobao replied, "His Majesty said, 'Wei Xiaobao, you are going to Yangzhou on a mission, I am afraid Wu Sangui would send people to assassinate you, Zhen is somewhat uneasy. Luckily his son is in Zhen's hands; if you ever meet unexpected misfortune, Zhen will treat this fellow Wu Yingxiong the same as whatever they are doing to you. Wu Sangui sends people to cut the tip of your little finger, inevitable this fellow Wu Yingxiong will also lack the tip of his little finger. That old fellow Wu Sangui sends people to kill you, it's is equal to killing his own son.' I said, 'Your Majesty, I can be anybody's son, but I definitely don't want to be Wu Sangui's son.' His Majesty roared in laughter. As such, I am coming to Yangzhou."

Sangjie and Galdan looked at each other, their countenances changed slightly. Sangjie said, "His Highness the Prince and I this time go to Yangzhou to find you, at first we thought that the Imperial Envoy His Majesty sent must be an extraordinary character, who would have thought that when the two of us looked from afar, turned out it was an old acquaintance. Even this Miss Ah Qi also knew you."

Wei Xiaobao said with a laugh, "We are indeed old friends."

Ah Qi picked up a chopstick from the table and jabbed it on Wei Xiaobao's forehead. She spat and said, "Who wants to be old friend with you?"

Sangjie said, "We made appointment to meet Taiwan's Zheng Er Gongzi in here, originally it was to discuss how to deal with you. Who would have thought that you personally came to pay a visit, hence you saved us a lot of trouble."

"Precisely," Wei Xiaobao said, "His Majesty interrogated that big beard, the Prince's subordinate Hantiemo for three days; we know everything."

When Sangje and Galdan heard the name Hantiemo, they were greatly shocked; they both rose up and asked, "What?"

"It's nothing really," Wei Xiaobao said, "His Majesty and Hantiemo talked in Mongolian, jabbering words that I did not understand even one. Afterwards His Majesty bestowed him quite a lot of money, and sent him to the Ministry of War to work for Shangshu Ming Zhu Daren. Less than three days later, he sent me to rush him to draw some maps. This is military stuff; I don't know anything. I said to His Majesty, 'Your Majesty, Mongolia and Tibet are too cold, if you want to send troops to fight a war, your servant is considering to have a vacation with you, I want to go to beautiful world of Yangzhou to have a stroll.'"

Galdan's face showed concern; he asked, "Did you say the young Emperor is going to dispatch troops to attack Mongolia and Tibet?"

Wei Xiaobao shook his head and said, "This kind of matter, I am not really clear. His Majesty said: it would be best if we deal with the old fellow, one person. If Mongolia and Tibet want to help us, then we'll consider them as friends; if they help the old fellow, there is no other way, we have to gain the initiative by striking first.'"

Sangjie and Galdan looked at each other; they felt relieved, and sat down. Galdan asked about Hantiemo, Wei Xiaobao described his appearance and mannerism vividly and realistically, Galdan and Sangjie could not not believe him. Noticing that these two men were frowning slightly, Wei Xiaobao guessed that as the two of them find out that Hantiemo had surrendered to the Qing, they expected that the collusion between Mongolia, Tibet and Wu Sangui could not be concealed from the young Emperor, hence they were afraid Kangxi would gain the initiative by striking first.

Wei Xiaobao saw Shuang'er and Zeng Rou had their acupoints sealed and were lying on the floor, while most of the eight personal guards had perished. This time he quietly went to the Lovely Spring Courtyard; because he was afraid other people might know his life's secret, Xu Tianchuan, Zhang Yong, Zhao Qixian, and the others did not know at all. It seems that even if he was chopped into mincemeat, made to be the famous Yangzhou's lion's head [i.e. pork meatball], perhaps simmer-fried or steamed in broth, or cooked with crab meat, nobody would come to rescue him. Since he had no way out anyway, he might as well babble anything, it was better than sitting and waiting for death quietly.

"His Majesty heard that Prince Galdan's martial art skill is superior, that he is an unparalleled hero," he continued, "He is very full of admiration."