Chapter 241 Time To Relax

Guy never thought that he'd miss the warm embrace of a down-filled mattress and pillow until his head touched and regressed into its marshmallow-like softness at one of the many guest rooms in the Rasmus Mansion. His entire body melted into the accommodating support of the mattress until he became one with the damn thing. At that moment, Guy anguished over his advancement into the Foundation Establishment realm. Though he wasn't fully liberated from the need to sleep, it wasn't a daily pressing matter for him anymore - he only slept about twice a week for eight hours each, on a good week. Sometimes he could go for two weeks with eight to ten. Nonetheless, sleep was evading him like a coy girl playing hard to get.

'Such misogynistic thoughts...' Guy chided himself. 'Look at what you've turned me into!' Guy blamed while pointing at his pillow with a scandalised gasp.

And thus he remained, staring aimlessly at the ceiling. For the first time in a while, Guy felt like doing nothing at all and just lay there in bed for a week, maybe a month, possibly a year. A dangerous thought, but one which Guy felt he was deserving of.

Guy cast a net backwards in time and inspected his life leading up to this point. As he did so, something became clear to him. The only instance where he'd rested his mind, that is to say, he did absolutely nothing productive and simply let his mind stagnate, was within the last four hours leading up to his death and the incalculable amount of time afterwards where he was floating around in the void.

On that note, 'I haven't taken time off after arriving in this world either.'

Things just started to roll out of his control within moments of his arrival. Upon further introspection, he realised that it wasn't really out of his control.

'I kind of chose to go down this path... again,' Guy summarised with a self-mocking smile. 'I couldn't stop myself after seeing Markus in such a state.'

Guy still remembered the defeated figure of Markus slouching in the corner of the Academy's yard. The boy's self-esteem was thoroughly obliterated, and his mental state was verging on the cusp of doing something stupid. Guy had seen enough of that expression in his past life. The first time he saw it, he took it lightly and paid dearly for it - the guilt of the deceased girl who took her own life had etched itself into Guy's soul. He couldn't let something like that happen again!

So it was that singular decision to interfere in Markus' life that barrelled him down his current path. Maybe the previous Guy would have done something differently, that is if the man hadn't so decisively taken his own life. Maybe, the man might have picked Markus, maybe not. Either way, Guy was certain that his previous self wouldn't have lasted long in the Academy. What then? Now that question took Guy down another twin-pronged rabbit hole of 'what if's and 'maybe's.

What does it mean to truly unburden the mind? Some argue that meditation is the way to go - to empty the mind of all useless thoughts and let it roam free, without any tethers holding it back.

But Guy would have to disagree. To achieve an unburdened mind, one shouldn't have to spend hours on end practising and honing a skill that lets them achieve that state. He believed that it should be a state accessible by anyone regardless of their demographic.

In his opinion, the true state of unburden-ness was to override the mind with as many useless and absurd thoughts as possible. Thoughts that would lead you nowhere, but would be just stimulating enough to take you away from where you are.

It wasn't important to question what his life would have been if he hadn't followed through on certain decisions in his past. Those were bygones - never to be revisited. Besides, Guy knew that even if he was given a second chance, he would walk down that exact same path. How was he so sure? He had died once and was literally offered a second chance, and he STILL reverted to his original programming!

Humans, like all animals, are creatures of habit. Till our teens, our habits remain mouldable. But once we enter adulthood it settles and hardens like treated clay. After this point, changing one's habits become difficult. One could add parts by slathering on additional clay and letting it cure, but the seam where the two clay objects are joined will forever remain a point of failure. One could remove parts by chipping them out of the hardened clay, but excessive changes can cause the whole thing to shatter. Putting it back together again would simply create a fragile version of the original - assuming that all the broken pieces can be salvaged again.

At that moment, Guy's internal clock started to ring in earnest. He tilted his head and noticed the sun rising and its rays piercing through the thin curtains blocking the balcony. The night had passed, and thus ended Guy's ongoing attempt to unburden his mind.

Though he sorely wished he could simply extend this state to encompass a larger time frame - he wished that the night was longer. Now that his mind had experienced that intoxicating state, it yearned for more!

This is the greatest disadvantage of this method of disencumbering the mind. It is addictive. An addiction that must be controlled at all costs, because if one succumbs to its sweet nothings, they will quickly start stagnating both mentally and physically. The mind grows numb after cycling through inane and unintelligent thoughts until it reaches a point where those are the only thoughts the mind can ever fathom.

Guy shook away the poisonous calls from his subconscious asking for "five more minutes!" and sat up straight.

After cleaning up and going through his morning routines, Guy made his way down to the dining hall. There, he was greeted by Markus and Jean, as well as the uncontrollably perky Dora.

The small family arranged themselves in the dining hall and quite literally inhaled the delicious spread of food and the succulent selection of fruits and sweets.

It was Dora's first time eating such an elaborate meal with a myriad of tastes and smells that had never graced her tongue and nose before. Each spoon scooped into her mouth elicited a squeal of delight or an audible "Wow!" that further endeared the already smitten staff and made them spoil the girl even more.

"Try this one as well! The chef has been experimenting with mangoes and hopes to see what Young Miss Reva thinks," one of the elderly servants said with a smile as she slid a beautiful metal bowl filled with a golden, viscous liquid in front of Dora.

Dora thanked the woman with a bow and a smile and proceeded to scoop the contents into her mouth.

"It's cold!" Dora yelped as she shut her eyes tight with a pained yet euphoric expression. "Ah! My head's ringing."

The elderly woman started to panic, but Guy waved his hand at her. "It's just brain freeze, she'll be better in a second."

Just like he'd said, Dora's scrunched-up face smoothened, and the girl doubled down on the dessert. "It's so sweet and creamy! I love it!"

"I shall convey the Young Miss' compliments to the chef," the elderly woman responded with a warm gaze. Dora shot her an exuberant thumbs-up and said, "I'll thank Uncle Chef after breakfast as well!"

"You should learn some things from Uncle Chef, Dad. He makes much better food than you or Matron Reva," Dora said matter-of-factly before returning to her chow down. Right as she finished the sentence, Markus choked on his food and Guy coughed loudly.

"Dora!" Markus shrieked with a cracking voice. "Y-You-"

"Did you just call me Dad?" Guy asked incredulously.

Dora nodded, "Uh-huh."

"What- Why?" Guy mumbled.

"Well, Mister Larks is just too long. And-" Dora answered with cheeks puffed with the liquid. In between gulps, she closed her eyes with an ecstatic expression. "-Durkas basically says that you are like my and Kano's Dad."

"I-" Guy opened and closed his mouth, but words just wouldn't leave them.

"Durkas said that any older man who takes care of us, provides for us, disciplines us, and lives with us every day is a father. He compared it with his own father who does all those things, so I guess that makes you our father, right?" Dora reasoned thoughtfully.

"I get that..." Guy said with a strained smile. "I get you calling me father, but why do you still call Grace Matron Reva?"

"Durkas said that a mother gives birth. Matron Reva didn't give birth to us," Dora answered.

"The reason is sound," Jean muttered in a low voice, only to receive a glare from Markus.

"Dora," Guy said after a long exhale to calm his tumultuous heart. "A man and woman are involved in creating a baby. A man provides half of himself and woman provides a half of herself. Two halves join together and make a new life. You and Kano were born because of two such halves, however, it wasn't those two halves that took care of you and raised you. It was Grace who did that. Although you are made of two different halves, the 'you' now is, in large part, a result of the hard work of Grace alone."

He paused and said, "A mother and father can be anyone who provides for you, cares for you, disciplines you and loves you all at once. It is a title that needs to be earned not inherited. The person who birthed you isn't obligated to have that title."

Dora hummed and scratched her chin.

"That must mean Matron Reva is my mother," Dora concluded. "And you must be my father."

"Well, you can tell Grace that when we return," Guy said with a chuckle. "But please make sure I'm there when you call her that."

'I cannot wait to see the look on her face,' Guy thought to himself mischievously.