Chapter 90
…Life with you.
The heavy meaning of the words had been conveyed to me completely..
“…Lord.”
“Look at me, Evelyn.”
Driven by the strength in his words, I gazed up at him.
In those golden eyes, I didn’t feel the usual madness or possessiveness… only a glimpse of the longing, the depth of which was difficult even to fathom.
Cassius slowly opened his mouth.
“Without me, I know that you’re happy.”
“….!”
I swallowed dry saliva.
Did he really think that way? Of course, not too long ago, I couldn’t even say that was wrong…
“…It used to be like that.”
Even though I tried to answer calmly, the trembling voice that flowed out unintentionally betrayed my intentions.
“Really, at one time… There was a time when I thought that Ophelia and I would be happy without the Lord.”
“Is it different now?”
Cassius asked desperately.
“Please be honest, Evelyn. What’s the difference now?”
“Difference…”
I caught my breath. It was because, with this, and I would truly be on a path where I could never go back…
“I can’t be happy just because the Lord is dead.”
“….”
Cassius’ face suddenly went quiet. It looked like he was thinking deeply about something though I went on.
“Lord isn’t my enemy. I’m not your enemy either. Not only that, but you risked your life for me… I’m ready to do anything to save such a thing.”
“…A compensation.”
His reply came one beat slower.
I hesitated. What did he mean, a compensation?
“Is that important?”
I asked right away.
“Regardless or not, I’m going to save the Lord…”
“It’s important.”
Cassius stared straight at me as he continued, “If it’s just compensation, I’d have to disappear from your presence even if I left this place.”
“You don’t have to.”
I answered quickly.
“No one would tell you to do that.”
“Is that so?”
He paused for a moment.
“Then, I ask again, Evelyn. A life with you… Even if it’s not a life where I can be with you, can I hope for a life where you won’t run away when I approach?”
“….”
Silence enveloped us again.
I swallowed dry saliva.
If Cassius was bold a moment ago, now… didn’t it seem like he was begging me to give him one last piece of kindness?
“Yes.”
Eventually, I nodded. How could I say no to such a request that he was no longer needed in my life?
Cassius laughed out loud.
“You seem to really want to save me, Evelyn.”
“….”
“Can I ask you one more question?”
“Yes.”
I nodded at his question.
“The plan to save me, the aftermath… Have you thought about it before coming up with the plan?”
So the question was, did I have in mind what would happen if I said I was pregnant?
I swallowed a laugh inside.
It seemed that Cassius’ thoughts had finally reached that point. Still, it was a question I had been thinking about before entering this room, so I answered calmly.
“Would you like to marry me now, Lord?”
“….!”
His reaction was worth watching. The next moment, Cassius’ pale face finally came to life, and he began to stare at me.
“Evelyn, that means…”
“Lord has proposed to me countless times, so I’ll do it this time. Will you marry me, Lord Cassius?”
Somehow, I wasn’t as nervous as I thought. Rather, should I say that reality has finally been accepted? In order to keep Cassius Brudenell alive, I must declare that I am pregnant with his child, and I must marry him.
However, Cassius wasn’t as happy as I thought, as he was frowning and shaking his head again.
“…You’re taking a risky gamble. Do you know what will happen if my name is not cleared to the end?”
How could I not know?
I’d have to live my whole life as the wife of an executed criminal, but I would also have to carry on the Duke of Brudenell, which I didn’t want.
“Lord.”
I called him lightly on purpose.
“I think you already know all too well how to prove your innocence, isn’t that right?”
“It’s not easy.”
“But, it’s not impossible.”
…And Cassius Brudenell was a man who accomplished the impossible.
Seeing my calm reaction, Cassius leaned against the back of his chair before muttering softly.
“Really, you…”
“Let’s appreciate it, because the life the Lord wanted with me isn’t far away.”
Suddenly, he raised her head.
“I don’t need charity work.”
How did it turn out like this?
Hurriedly, I rose up from my seat and gazed down at Cassius.
“Does this feel like charity, Cassius?”
“…Yes.”
He spat out as if he was chewing the words out.
“I appreciate you sacrificing your reputation to save me, but you really don’t have to talk like we’re a couple, Evelyn.”
“…Is that so?”
I answered slowly.
“Even if we got married, we wouldn’t really be a couple. However…”
I leaned towards Cassius. Even though he smelled of old dungeons, it wasn’t unpleasant. I’ve smelled a much more gruesome smell from him.
“Every day, you can be with me. Isn’t that what the Lord wanted?”
“….”
Cassius stared intently at me.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes?”
“Really… would you mind staying with me, Evelyn?”
I had a hunch.
Now…
Now was the only chance to bring Cassius out of this dungeon. If I let him go now, he would really die like this.
“Of course not.”
I nodded.
“I don’t hate the Lord that much.”
“…Please tell me it’s not a lie.”
Cassius’ voice rang out desperately.
“Please tell me you’re not just trying to say this to save me, Evelyn.”
“…I’m not lying. Why do you think so?”
“It’s just…”
“Because you imprisoned me? For forcing engagements and marriage proposals? Or using my sister and my family as hostages?”
Cassius didn’t answer.
Nonetheless, I continued in silence.
“Still, please know this one thing. It’s true that I’m doing this to save you. I have no other feelings, in case of misunderstanding—”
“Enough.”
Suddenly, Cassius’ gaze met mine again. The slightly lowered voice reached my ears with the same echo as before.
“Stop… That’s enough.”
How do I explain what happened after that?
First of all, after roughly speaking with Cassius, I got up from my seat and went to visit Princess Hermia again. However, she didn’t look very surprised.
“I thought so.”
Saying so, she shook her head.
“Why on earth do you want to do this for him, Young Lady?”
“I couldn’t let him die for me.”
I answered honestly.
“He said I’ll be happy if he dies… but that’s really not true.”
“Hmm.”
Lost in her thoughts, Hermia muttered a strange noise before her lips parted again as she asked.
“Is that really all there is?”
“Yes.”
I nodded and added.
“Nothing more, nothing less.”
In fact, Hermia’s implications were clear… wasn’t I doing this because I love Cassius Brudenell. I was confident enough to answer no to that question many times over.
If I had loved Cassius in the first place, I wouldn’t have walked away without thinking about hearing an explanation just because he killed Kitty.
If I loved Cassius, there would be no reason for him to be imprisoned like that.
If I loved Cassius…
‘…No.’
I shook my head.
Regretting the past wouldn’t change anything. Besides, now or in the past, I didn’t love Karthus, so what would that matter?
“I see. So, the Young Lady is pregnant… Once the facts are publicized, I’ll take care of the rest.”
“I need a doctor I can trust.”
I boldly demanded.
“Of course, I also need medicine to stop menstruation.”
“I can arrange those two for you.”
Hermia answered obediently.
“Still, we won’t be able to prolong this play. The Young Lady knows why, right?”
“Yes.”
After all, no matter how early I claimed to have found out that I was pregnant, there were limits to acting as a pregnant woman. If my stomach wouldn’t swell even when time passed, I’d be found out quickly.
“Well, there are other ways, but…”
“What is it?”
At my question, Hermia suddenly stared at me.
“Now, are you asking because you don’t know?”
“I don’t know.”
She laughed out loud.
“Even the Young Lady has an innocent side. Of course, I’m talking about actually conceiving the Lord’s child… Is there any other way?”
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