CH 176

I don’t know how I managed to run to my room. I couldn’t even make it to the bed and just plopped down on the floor.

But now I can’t do that.

This reality was worse than any nightmare in which one couldn’t wake up.

But really… that spot next to him was mine alone.

Grand Duke Estin loved all his children, but it was only me who would sleep next to him……. No, not Gilbert, or Aiden, or Theodore, of course, or Rex.

But why?

Of all things.

knock, knock.~

While I was breathing heavily, I heard a knock on my door. I was so startled by the knocking sound that I sealed my lips again.

A chill ran down my spine. Who could it be? Is it Grand Duke Estin? Maybe he came here to soothe me in case I was too surprised.

When I said nothing and remained still, I heard a soft voice on the other side of the door.

“Sister, may I come in?”

It was Tia Bluea.

I bit my lips tightly. Maybe she woke up because of me.

She must’ve been surprised to see me rushing out when she awoke. When I stayed still, she knocked on the door again.

I couldn’t keep pretending I didn’t hear it, so I scrambled to my feet and opened the door.

Tia Bluea was looking at me with her eyebrows down. I clenched and unclenched my fist a few times to relieve the tension. My palms were sweaty.

“Were you surprised?”

“Why are you there…….”

“Ah, I was talking to the Grand Duke until nightfall. So he told me to go to sleep, but I couldn’t sleep alone, so..”

When I was Ha Sohee, Jung Seulbi coveted everything I had.

She might have thought it was fair and just. But it wasn’t. It was greed.

But this is….

“Oh, I’m sure his memory will come back!”

“Really?”

“Yes?”

“Do you really think so?”

When I asked back helplessly, Jung Seulbi said with a sad look again.

“Sister, don’t worry too much…….”

How can Jung Seulbi play Tia Bluea so perfectly?

Or maybe she’s always been this way, and she’s only mean to Ha Sohee because she thinks she took everything from her.

Or is it only now that she can finally be at ease because she can finally have what she wants?

Why is Jung Seulbi always happier than me? The intangible self-loathing dug into my body.

As I stared, Tia Bluea shrugged and turned to leave.

“Go to sleep…”

“With me… sleep with me.”

I said, grabbing her wrist as she turned away. Perhaps it was an unexpected offer, Tia Bluea looked at me with her eyes wide-open.

“If you can’t sleep alone, you can sleep with me. My bed is spacious, and it would be uncomfortable to sleep with Grand Duke Estin…….”

Upon my desperate suggestion, a hint of Jung Seulbi’s expression appeared on Tia Bluea’s face, and I paused.

She looked at me distantly and then giggled. “Oh, I’m sorry,” she said in a giggly voice.

“But what if Grand Duke wakes up and looks for me? He kept saying he wanted to talk to me and wouldn’t let me go.”

“…….”

“Good night, big sister.”

Without saying a word, the door to my room slammed shut in front of me. I crumbled once again. I felt like I was falling into an abyss deeper than the darkness that now fell in my room.

I knelt down and touched the floor with both hands. I didn’t know when it had started, but tears kept falling from my face.

The tears streaming out of my eyes were making circles on the rug.

I hate it all.

I wondered if I should run back right now and kneel before Grand Duke Estin and beg him. Beg him to remember I am his daughter.

I am the only one who is allowed to sleep in his bed like that. That child is a fake, so please remember me.

But the thought of going back to Grand Duke Estin’s room, and seeing Tia Bluea, who was lying on Grand Duke Estin’s bed, choked me.

It would be painful to see Grand Duke Estin waking up and seeing him looking at me with cold eyes……, and to have to comfort Tia Bluea, who was startled out of her sleep?

‘Grand Duke Estin is just the beginning?’

Lucas, Gilbert, Aiden, Theodore, Hestia, Bonita, Carrol. What if all the precious people to me value Tia Bluea more than they value me? Even Rex, who shed tears for me, will he do the same for Tia…?

And Demimore?

I don’t know why I suddenly remembered Demimore.

With so much going on, I had set aside thoughts of Demimore, but suddenly an inexplicable longing overwhelmed me.

“Oh, I miss you…….”

It’s selfish that I hadn’t thought about Demimore until now, but I suddenly wanted to see him. Yes, it was undoubtedly selfish.

I longed to see Demimore, who always stood by my side, rather than the people of the Conler Duchy who made me feel strangely guilty whenever I looked at their faces.

“Mary.”

It was then.

Someone grabbed me by the shoulder.

I didn’t even have the energy to be surprised, even though it was the kind of moment that would have set me off. When I turned my head, I saw an unexpected presence through my blurred vision.

“Are you okay?”

Only then did I remember coming with Arsene. I was already crying, but then I felt sorry for him, so I burst into more tears.

Arsene sat down to meet my eye level and wiped my tears away.

“You really are Arsene…….”

“I told you so.”

I’d been denying in my mind that he wasn’t the dog, but looking into those comforting eyes, I knew it was him.

When I mumbled something like that, he smiled at me.

His playful voice was so sweet that I couldn’t stop crying. He held out Nero to me. I took Nero from him and hugged him tightly to my chest.

“Nero is sad.”

So he even knows Nero. It makes sense now why Arsene suddenly appeared in the room.

“Because his master is sad, Nero is sad, too. He wants to grieve more than his master, but his master’s grief is so deep that he can’t.”

Maybe Arsene was just saying this to comfort me, but it made me cry a little more.

As I wiped away my tears, he stroked my hair.

“I’m on your side unconditionally.”

“Then, then…….”

“You want me to kill him?”

I nodded vigorously. I’d been thinking about how much I wanted Arsene to kill X and the god of the underworld or whatever it was.

“He’s gotten so strong, my powers…….”

“So what do they want? Me? Then it would be better if they just kidnapped me.”

“They did.”

“…….”

“But they found you. Your family.”

They were even worse than I thought they were..

“So they tried to sow discord between you and your family in any way possible. Remember?”

I shook my head.

“Think about it. The novel you thought you read, and the nightmares you had.”

Ah.

I felt like someone had hit me in the back of the head with a hammer. I remembered the story of Mary, the unloved daughter of the Grand Duke of Conler.

Yeah, that was all their ruse. They kept reminding me of it in my dreams, in case I forgot the novel. During that time, I became disheartened, thinking that I might end up like the original….

That’s why I constantly doubted my family, who loved me consistently and unconditionally, and thought that they would abandon me at any moment if I made a mistake. I was obsessed with being on their good side.

So when Grand Duke Estin lost his memory and kept Tia Bluea by his side, I felt as if the world was falling apart, as if I had been betrayed.

You idiot, Grand Duke Estin…….

I didn’t think of my dad as my dad, and I kept calling him Grand Duke Estin as if I was dealing with a character in a novel…….

I also kept telling myself that Rex was going to be a villain at any moment, and yes, that was partly because I didn’t trust him.

“Ah….”

Who was the one that didn’t trust their family was ready to turn their back at them at any moment?