Chapter 78: Transition
The walk back to Grandmother Lu’s house was done mostly in silence. Sen had expected that he’d feel different when everything was done, changed somehow by bringing the conflict to a close. Instead, he just felt a vague sense of emptiness and fatigue. It made a certain kind of sense to him, though. The situation had changed, but whatever changes he might have gone through weren’t especially wrapped up in that situation. The conflict had driven some advancement, but almost entirely by clarifying things he didn’t want to become. The violence required to end the conflict had almost felt like a step in the wrong direction to him, a move toward that agent of chaos he didn’t want to become. Yet, it hadn’t been a conflict of his own choosing. Seeing the pure, spiteful, irrational rage in the mayor’s eyes had been proof enough of that for Sen. Yes, he’d done things he didn’t want to do, but it hadn’t truly been a step off the path he wanted to forge for himself.
Having Falling Leaf walking with him was also a comfort. He hadn’t realized just how much he would miss the big cat’s presence. It only became apparent to him now that it was gone. As much as he relished her company, though, he was more confident than ever that she had been right. The world of human beings wasn’t a world for her. She could make occasional visits, but she’d attract too much attention if she were always with him. Her instincts would lead her into situations that neither of them could hope to extract her from. He could just see her attacking someone who just acted threatening toward him, regardless of how dangerous they actually were. Worse still, she might make the same choice with someone who neither of them could handle. Sen was not under any illusion that every conflict that found him could be resolved with a similar kind of brute force. It was only the relative weakness of the cultivators here that let him play this out the way he had. Against more powerful enemies, against a sect, his approach would have utterly failed.
Master Feng or Uncle Kho might be able to send sects running with only their names or a quick flash of overwhelming power. Neither of those choices were available to Sen. For that matter, if he somehow did develop the kind of reputation that made his name a byword for terror, it would mean that he had failed in countless other ways to become the man he wished to be. Yet, without recourse to those kinds of options, he couldn’t see any way that he could ever safely take Falling Leaf away from the mountain or, barring that, away from the wilds where men so rarely tread of their own free will. As much as he missed her, only pure selfishness would ever let him justify taking her along with him. As with so much else, she had been wiser than he. As they neared Grandmother Lu’s home, Sen paused and looked to the sky once more. The faintest edges of light were visible on the horizon, heralding a new day. Maybe, it would mean a fresh start for Orchard’s Reach as well. Someone would have to take over for the mayor. Sen looked down at Falling Leaf, who regarded him with curious eyes.
“Thank you for watching over Grandmother Lu. For coming with me. Just, thank you.”
The big cat bumped her head against Sen’s leg in acknowledgment. He smiled and rested a hand on her head.
“I know you can’t do it all the time. But, if you could look in her occasionally, while she’s still here, I’d be grateful. Maybe let her catch a glimpse of you from time to time. She’d like that.”
Falling Leaf let out an exasperated noise, but she nodded. Then, she looked off toward the mountain.
Sen nodded. “You need to go. I understand. Goodbye for now.”
“Or, I could just be a guard for it. That’s an even better cover. I’m a wandering cultivator, Grandmother. As I understand it, we’re always in need of work.”
She narrowed her eyes at me. “I’m not paying you to be a distraction to every woman in that caravan.”
Sen gave the older woman a wounded look and pulled out the satchel. “And to think, I was going to give you all this gold.”
Grandmother Lu watched with wide eyes as Sen opened the satchel, grabbed a handful of the golden taels, and made them disappear into his storage ring. Then, he gave her a big smile and offered her the satchel.
“Now you don’t have to pay me,” he said, shaking the bag a little.
The old woman snorted and grabbed the satchel. “You’re only giving me this so that you’ll have more places to find help.”
“That’s not the only reason. It’s also so I’ll know that, even if the worst happens, you’ll never wind up in a hovel again.”
Grandmother Lu went very still for a few moments. “Don’t you know that it’s terrible manners to make an old woman cry?”
“As you say, Grandmother.”
