Book 5: Chapter 44: No Direct Pressure
Youre welcome to come along, of course, said Sen in the most offhanded and casual tone he could manage.
After discussing his plans with Fu Ruolan, hed reflected on how hed taken it almost for granted that Falling Leaf would come with him. He didnt like that hed done that at all. While he had valid if obnoxious reasons to venture back into those old familiar territories, she didnt to his knowledge. Shed certainly never expressed a desire to do so, except for the very occasional comment that shed like to see Uncle Khos mountain again. That made sense to Sen. Falling Leaf might not be afflicted with a lot of nostalgia, but that mountain had been home to her for a very long time before hed come along and turned everyones lives upside down. He wasnt going there, though.
So, if she did come along, it would only be to keep him company while he went and did things that didnt really stand to benefit her. If she stayed, she could continue her training with Fu Ruolan. In fact, shed probably get more and better training without him around to distract both her and the nascent soul cultivator. He couldnt make the decision for her, either way. He could, however, avoid putting any kind of direct pressure on her. He was certain that shed do it without hesitation if he asked her to come. If he just threw it out there that she could come, if she wanted to, that let her make the choice that worked best for her without feeling like she had to tell him no. Hed also considered that some of the little side errands he was considering might actually be easier if he was traveling alone.
As the silence dragged on for a while, Sen glanced over at Falling Leaf. She looked torn. He couldnt blame her for that. He would have died without her help when theyd come looking for Fu Ruolan. Hed have pushed too hard and gotten himself killed by some spirit beast a dozen times without her watching out for him. Of course, the situation wasnt the same. Once he knew that hed be traveling, hed gone ahead and formed another layer to his core. He wanted it done and out of the way before he left. Especially if there was going to be a tribulation attached. It seemed the heavens truly did believe hed suffered enough recently because thered been no hint of divine lightning or anything else that one might think of as a tribulation. Granted, he had substantial work to do in getting full control over his advancements which carried some risks, but he wasnt dying this time. He could still push too hard, but it wasnt a foregone conclusion that it would kill him anymore.This chapter is updated by nov(e)(l)biin.com
I want to stay, said Falling Leaf, sounding frustrated at her own words.
Thats a good plan, said Sen. Youre in the middle of training with a weapon. Its better if you learn all of the essentials together. I just wanted you to know that you could come if you wanted to.
The guilt in her expression didnt fade away entirely, but it was mostly gone the next time he glanced at her. He decided that was going to have to be good enough. Hed done everything he could to let her stay behind without feeling bad about it. She had to decide for herself that it was okay. She gave him a curious look.
Will you go straight to the turtle?
Sen shook his head. No, Ill make at least one stop along the way. See if Lo Meifeng is still in the capital. Shes still the most efficient way to get a letter to Master Feng that I know.
Is that wise? There may be people there who are angry with you.
Sen let out a soft laugh. There are people angry with me for one reason or another all over this kingdom. If I just never go places where they might be, Ill have to leave the kingdom entirely.
Thats probably true. Still, Chan Yu Ming might be in the capital. Could you kill her if you had to?
Sen felt the smile fade from his lips. Hed been making an effort not to think too hard about what might happen if he saw the princess again. He desperately hoped that time had given her some perspective on what had happened because he didnt want to fight her. Of course, that wasnt the question that Falling Leaf had asked him. Could I kill Chan Yu Ming? A moment of soul-searching gave him an answer. It wasnt one he liked but liking the answer wasnt required.
Any messages for Auntie Caihong, Uncle Kho, or Master Feng?
Falling Leaf seemed to give that question much deeper thought. Shed developed a much deeper relationship with Auntie Caihong when theyd all been out searching for him. Yet, theyd parted company easily enough. Hed never been quite sure what the story was there and hadnt pried. As Lo Meifeng had told him, curiosity wasnt its own justification. It simply hadnt been his business if she didnt want to share the details with him.
You can tell them about my new training, she said, nodding to herself as though shed made some good decision. Im sure theyll be interested.
Sen resisted the urge to ask a bunch of questions. Not your business, he reminded himself.
Ill do that, he said and moved on to the practicalities. I know the cold doesnt really bother you, but I went ahead and split some wood for the fire. You should have enough for a couple of weeks, but youll need to gather more after that.
I can do that.
Youll also need it if you want warm baths, he noted.
That seemed to get her attention. Sen usually warmed the water in the bath using his qi, a feat that Falling Leaf couldnt duplicate. She nodded a little more vigorously. He tried to think of anything else he might need to tell her or remind her about and came up empty. Their lives were so simple that there just werent that many things to discuss about it. He checked his storage rings one last time to make sure he had the essential camping gear and food. Much like Falling Leaf, he could simply ignore the winter cold. Just because it wouldnt kill him, though, it didnt make enduring it more pleasant. Sen was not of the opinion that self-inflicted suffering built character. In his experience, it usually just led to poor sleep. Having dealt with everything he could think of, he stepped toward the door.
Be careful, Sen. Do not let your new strength make you careless of your safety, said Falling Leaf.
He gave her a serious look to show that he was giving her words their due weight. I will be ever mindful.
Seemingly satisfied, she stood from her chair and stepped outside into the winter cold with him. Hed only get a few hours of real travel in before early winter evening set in, but a motivated core cultivator at his stage could cover an almost absurd amount of ground in a few hours. Enough ground that he would have thought it was just something someone made up when he was a child. He smiled a little. Every once in a while, he tried to imagine what that younger version of himself would make of what he had become in the years between. Would he have been able to recognize himself, or would the older Sen have seemed like some impossible thing from a story? He wasnt sure, but he thought it was a useful exercise. Cultivators spent so much of their time looking forward and striving toward the heights of those geniuses who came before them. Sen wasnt immune to that habit, but he thought it sometimes blinded cultivators.
Looking back let him see how far he had come. That child Master Feng first found looked almost unrecognizable to him now. Even the person who first stepped off the mountain to go explore the world struck him as largely a stranger. That young man had been full of grand ideals, most of which had been rather unceremoniously smashed to pieces. Hed been nave to just how harsh and unforgiving the world could be to the unwary. Not that it had all been bad, and not everyone had turned out to be awful. Luo Min and her mother back on that farm. They had been kind. The patriarch of the Clear Spring Sect had his moments of kindness. Sen had been more disappointed by that mans failings than angry about them. Prince Jing had turned out to be so honorable that Sen wasnt sure what to do with him. Grandmother Lu and her employees had proven themselves time and time again. Even the Stormy Ocean Sect had turned out to harbor those with more sense than arrogance. No, it hadnt been all bad, and it was important to remind himself of that on occasion. Otherwise, he could fall into the trap of seeing enemies absolutely everywhere.
On a whim, Sen turned and gave Falling Leaf a hug. Hed thought she might pull away, but she didnt. They stood there like that for a long time, tiny snowflakes falling around them. Sen finally pulled back and smiled at her.
Ill be back before you know it.
