Book 6: Chapter 7: Not Reassuring
Once hed regained his feet, brushed off his robes, and gathered the tattered shreds of his dignity around him like a robe of shame, Sen looked over at the divine spirit beast. The massive turtle gazed at him with a monk-like calm. It seemed that Elder Bo was going to wait for Sen to restart the conversation. Sen gave serious thought to simply trying to walk away again but suspected that he wouldnt be allowed to leave until the turtle got his say. Doing his best to pretend that he hadnt just been slapped down like an overactive kitten, Sen looked out over the water.
If you arent going to let me leave or kill me, can you please just say what you want to say?
Youre still angry.
Can you blame me? Even if I wanted to take vengeance on you, I think you just demonstrated rather decisively how far out of reach that goal is for me. Not a lot to celebrate right now.
Was that your plan? To take vengeance?
No, but it did make for a pleasant fantasy.
Ah, said Elder Bo. I see. Ive stolen that fantasy.
Sen shrugged as he tried to feign indifference. I knew it wasnt realistic.
Are you always this disrespectful toward those with more power than you?
Sen didnt need to think about it. Yes. Pretty much without fail.
That strikes me as a poorly considered survival strategy. Even the threat of Ming, Jaw-Long, and Caihong wont stop everyone.
I do my best not to lean on their reputations, said Sen with a hollow smile. It turns out that Ive got a reputation of my own to lean on these days. Its mostly smoke and mirrors, but people still believe it. Or they worry enough that it might be true that they dont want to cross me.
Freeing you from concerns about retribution. A fine strategy until it fails.
Im not blind to the possibility of retribution or the strategy failing. Clearly, there are things in this world that can kill me out of hand. I do worry sometimes that some petty bastard will try to get back at me by hurting people I care about. I dont worry about someone trying to kill me.
Why is that?
Because the worst they can do is kill me. Ive faced death before, lots of times, as both a mortal and a cultivator. Im not in a hurry to die, but its not a prospect that frightens me.
Wouldnt it be easier to simply be respectful?
Easier? Sure. Viable? Not at all.
I assume youre respectful to Feng Ming and the others.
Sen gave the turtle a sidelong glance and said, Im respectful to them because they earned it. Day after day, year after year, they earned that respect. They took me in, taught me, and made me a part of their family when there was nothing in it for them. Respect you have to demand from others isnt respect.
Others have worked for their power. That has value. Some would say it demands respect by virtue of its existence.
Fine. Keep the secret. If you wont tell me about that, will you at least tell me about this Six-Fold Body Transformation?
The turtle thought about it for a lot longer than seemed reasonable to Sen, but the spirit beast finally nodded in agreement.
Most cultivators dont flood their bodies with divine qi the way you did until theyre nascent soul cultivators. There are reasons for doing it and reasons for the timing, but most of those reasons dont apply to you. At least, not at present. There are also good reasons not to do it before the nascent soul stage. It can interfere with core formation stage body cultivation techniques. With a little bit of luck, that wont be a problem for you. The main reason not to do it during the core formation stage is that it creates a stronger connection between your body and soul.
That sounds like a good thing, not a bad thing.
Elder Bo sighed. Its not a bad thing if youre connecting it to a powerful nascent soul. It is a bad thing if youre connecting it to a mortal soul. That connection lets your soul lend power to cultivation techniques and other acts of will. Again, not a bad thing on its own, assuming the soul is powerful enough. Mortal souls are seldom powerful enough, which creates issues. I expect youve been feeling tired and even out of place recently.
I have, said a wary Sen.
You did something recently to strain your soul. Maybe even crack it.
Sen flashed back to those dreadful moments when he was watching the wave approach the ship. His desperation to make his technique get there in time was vivid in his memory. He remembered pushing with everything he had. That thought led him to other moments of desperation when hed done things he didnt really think he could pull off. Had he been borrowing against and possibly even damaging his soul in those moments? He was usually in such dire condition afterward that it often meant staying in bed for days and not doing anything strenuous for even longer. Had it been more than just physical damage? Was he waiting around during those times for his soul to heal? He wanted to dismiss it but feared it was all too plausible. Sen gave Elder Bo an assessing look.
This is what you wanted to talk about, said Sen.
It is, admitted Elder Bo.
What should I do about all of this?
Stop straining your soul, said Elder Bo with exasperation. I thought that part was obvious. You wont have to worry about enemies killing you if you damage your soul too much. Youll do the job for them.
Okay, but how do I know when Im doing that?
Elder Bo paused in thought for a moment. Thats actually a good question.
The spirit beast spent most of an hour trying to help Sen understand how to identify when he was straining his soul. Yet, much to Sens disappointment, it mostly seemed to boil down to a matter of just sensing when it was happening. There were no explicit signs when it was happening and, until Sen became a nascent soul cultivator, no way to see the damage. Beyond that, all he could do was watch out for the signs that it had happened.
Anything else I should look out for? asked Sen.
Too many things to even name them, said Elder Bo.
That was not reassuring.
If you want reassurance, ask a less fraught question next time, said the turtle in an amused tone.
Theres going to be a next time?
If you become a nascent soul cultivator, I expect well meet again.
With that, the divine spirit beast disappeared back into the water of the cove. Sen frowned at the water, feeling deeply unsettled by everything that had happened with the turtle. With a shake of his head, Sen did his best to clear his mind. Hed kept his promise and showed up. Now, it was time to get back to Falling Leaf and Fu Ruolan.
