CH 27

Chapter 27

Da Biaoge is the only man A’Fu will seek.

***

Jiafu hung her head, not daring to let even hair tremble. She was overcome with an incomparable sense of shame, lingering fear, and absolute despondency.

Pei You’an was willing to help her and had the ability to do so. Jiafu was certain. The reason why she was this confident was that, apart from what he had promised her, she had an intuition——a kind of unexplained intuition concerning men that was innate to women.

Before him, she attempted to demonstrate her sincerity by attempting to seek death to put pressure on him——Jiafu also detested herself for arriving to this decision, but even her own self-loathing could not prevent her from executing such a brazen plan.

She greatly hankered for this sense of security. Only Pei You’an had the capacity to give her what she desired, and what else could firmly bind a man and a woman together to the extent that they never part?

It was not the affiliation of a biaomei and a biaoge, nor a verbal commitment, but an intimate relationship between a man and a woman that transcended what a biaomei and a biaoge had.

Since she had already resolved to be shameless, she had to persevere until the end and not to relent even in the face of death. Thinking about it now, when she fell head-first just then, even if she did not scream out the word ‘save’, which she so terribly regretted that it made her want to bite her tongue off, Pei You’an definitely would have rescued her in time.

Unfortunately, in that life-and-death situation, her subconscious reaction completely betrayed her.

He found out she was up to no good, taking advantage of his kindness and sympathy for her.

The atmosphere was so dreadfully frigid that Pei You’an’s rage seemed even more terrifying.

”Had I been half a step slower, you would have lost your life. Conduct yourself well. I’m leaving.”

Just when Jiafu was fearfully preparing to meet his thunderous rage, such words suddenly entered her ears.

There was no anger. There was nothing but indifference in his voice.

Jiafu’s heart sank. She mustered up the courage to lift her eyes and saw him throw an icy glimpse at her. He turned around and stalked towards the door.

The past few days, the two had gradually become familiar with each other. Because she was deliberate and heartfelt in her approach and ingratiation with him, seven or eight nights out of ten, she could wait for him to return so they could dine together. He would also smile at her, his countenance gentle, and sometimes, even when Jiafu would display before him her intentional acts of half-genuine coquetry to sound out his limits, she could sense his indulgence toward her, as if he also liked her in such a way.

It was precisely because of this that she had gathered the confidence to employ the cheap trick of threatening him with her life.

Right this instant, however, the Pei You’an who gradually grew gentle and lenient with her disappeared, and he reverted to how he was when they first met, but even more cold and detached than that time.

Jiafu opened her eyes and stared blankly at the departing rear figure of the unconcerned and distant man in front of her.

“Da Biaoge——”

She let out a soft sob. Her eyes reddened, and with the sound of a droplet falling, her tears poured out.

”I was wrong…… You mustn’t get mad……”

Her voice choked up. Lowering her head, she sat on her knees on the corner of the bed and lifted her arm to rub away tears with the back of her hand, but they kept streaming down more and more as she wiped, refusing to cease. Bubbles of mucus eventually formed as she sniveled.

A hand suddenly appeared in front of her with a pure white handkerchief in its grasp.

Jiafu whimpered, raised her head, widened her red-rimmed eyes, and gazed at the person across from her.

Pei You’an had returned and stood there, frowning at her wretched appearance.

Jiafu hastily received it, lowered her head to wipe her eyes and nose, and gradually stopped, shame once again overwhelming her. She tightly clutched the two corners of the handkerchief, subconsciously wound it around her fingers, and bowed her head, mute as a fish.

He stood aside and watched her coldly. His line of sight veered from her hands twisting the handkerchief to her face, and he asked, “Done crying?”

Jiafu answered with an “mm”, the sound as light as a mosquito. The few strands of hair that fell on her forehead trembled.

”Do you know what you did wrong?” His voice sounded rather dour.

”Da Biaoge, you are so kind to me, yet I feigned seeking death to threaten you……”

Pearly white teeth bit her tender pink lips that had been moistened from crying. Jiafu drooped her head and responded sheepishly.

Because he had seen right through her, she looked severely shamefaced. After saying that, her ears flushed red.

”There is more to it than that! You actually treat your own marriage as child’s play! To be fine with being a concubine, a maidservant, or even just a nominal title? Preposterous!” 

Jiafu’s heart skipped a beat. She did not dare say anything and only hung her head lower.

This gesture of hers evidently did nothing to mollify his temper, and the volume of his voice only intensified, fraught with anger restrained to the utmost.

”Do you know that such a matter is generally not indispensable for men, but a top priority for you? You are a woman. How can you risk your own marriage because of your disorderly and foolish reflections? You proposed that before me today, and I took it as a slip of the tongue. Were it someone else, do you know what the consequences would be? How are you so confident that that person will treat you kindly? Absolutely ridiculous!”

Jiafu was struck dumb. She never expected that such a thing would also vex him.

As far as she was concerned, it never occurred to her that she might open her mouth and spout such matters to a man other than Pei You’an.

Even if that man could help her escape the nightmare of her previous life as Pei You’an had, she would never make such a proposal to him.

Pei You’an was different.

She trusted him.

She silently raised her eyes, saw his furrowed brows as his two eyes peered at her, and summoned up the courage to look squarely at him. She softly replied, “Da Biaoge has reproached me…… A’Fu knows it was wrong…… but Da Biaoge is the only man A’Fu will seek, and there is no other such person……”

Pei You’an was taciturn, and a deafening hush fell in the room. The sound of Jiafu’s heartbeat seemed almost audible.

”Rest assured. Since I have promised you, I will protect you. It is not worth risking your own marriage for, even if that person is me.”

He said after a while, his expression finally softening a bit.

Jiafu inwardly breathed a sigh of relief and nodded hurriedly, “A’Fu understands and does not dare to raise such matters to Da Biaoge from now on……”

Before her voice had died away, the faint sound of a gurgling stomach interrupted. The sound was subdued, but it did not escape Pei You’an’s ears.

He shot a glance at her belly.

Although the Zhen family was a merchant family, Meng-shi taught her daughter very strict rules. Jiafu had once reckoned such a discourtesy to be simply unimaginable. It seemed that everything had gone downhill after she began thinking of jumping from the building as a threat.

Jiafu shut her mouth in abashment.

In order to pretend to be weak enough to faint in front of him, not only had she deliberately worn scanty spring clothing in such weather on the rooftop where the wind was chilly, but she also had not drunk or eaten a single bite after Zhang Fengtong’s departure earlier that day.

Pei You’an coolly said, “Go and eat!”

After which, he whisked around and trod out. As if granted amnesty, Jiafu dashed to the mirror, speedily arranged her hair and fixed her makeup, and hastily followed after him.