CH 128

The dead daughter came back alive. Wouldn’t it be great if that beautiful story was true?

But if Alan really believed so, he wouldn’t have hid the baby’s coffin beneath the ground that no one knew about.

He wouldn’t even have offered beautiful flowers of mourning.

“About the fact that I’m not Lily…”

He might have successfully turned away from reality at first. However, on the day the demonized left arm was caught, he would have had no choice but to admit.

Lily’s dead body contained something other than his daughter.

“…….”

Alan shook his head weakly. As if I shouldn’t say anything more. His eyes were clouded like a man drowning in a swamp.

I clenched my teeth until it made a snapping sound.

If I could, I wanted to keep my mouth shut like this. I wanted to keep Alan’s fantasy intact.

But I decided. To live on this land without running away.

I decided to let Alan know that the body of his daughter he had been looking for so much was right in front of him.

“Lily is dead.”

I tied the knot in my own way after a meaningless wait.

Someone had to do it, and only I could do it.

“The dead cannot come back alive…”

A drop of lukewarm water dripped down the finger that was caressing his cheek.

Alan cried. Kneeling helplessly.

Tears flowed out like a broken faucet and wet his empty face.

I would rather close my eyes. The man I called ‘Dad’, Alan, was falling apart.

“…I hated her.”

Alan snorted. A low-pitched voice echoed in the deep basement.

“That little baby… For some reason she…”

His wet gaze caught the coffin that was drowned in petals, and then it fell to the cold stone floor.

“…It felt like she killed Natalia.”

The man’s voice, which had been cracking without mercy, gradually faded away.

“I thought it would be better not to have her, but…”

He covered his eyes with his leather-gloved hands. Like hiding a terrible monster.

“Certainly… I went back soon. I was going to take those words back.” 

The lillies that were on the man’s lap fell to the floor and were torn.

The pure white petals were discolored and dyed the same color as the coffin for the dead.

“…She was dead. All of a sudden.”

He lowered his head and grabbed one of my arms. His wide shoulders trembled like an aspen.

“I couldn’t protect her.”

Alan muttered far away, then added a little.

“…I can’t even apologize.”

The words that could not be conveyed were said pointlessly.

“Forever.”

It rang in my ears.

The roar in my ears grew loud enough to rip my skull apart, then vanished as soon as Alan grabbed my hand.

Alan slowly stood up. He led me up the stairs without wiping his wet cheeks.

“…Let’s go back.”

Flustered, I struggled and shook off his hand. He looked surprised, but held out his hand again.

“Lily.”

A man called me by the name of his dead daughter.

I shook my head so hard that I felt dizzy.

“No.”

“…Lily.”

Alan grabbed my shoulder. I was in pain, so I squeezed my eyebrows without realizing it.

“I won’t ask anything.”

“Dad.”

“I will do anything you want. That’s right, didn’t you ask me to save Michael’s life? I will grant you any request.”

“…Duke.”

“My dear daughter.”

Alan hugged me.

The body temperature I could feel through his uniform was scorching hot. It was the heat of sorrow.

“Please.”

The man was asking me to lie.

Please continue to live as Lily. Please leave at least one piece of vain hope.

He wanted to live in a world where he could protect his daughter.

“……”

If I could, I wanted to hug Alan. I wanted to call him ‘Dad’ as if nothing had happened.

But now I had to kill my desires. For him who was stuck in the past.

“…Alan.”

‘Alan’, not ‘Dad’.

“I am not Lily.”

Alan hardened like a piece of wood without even blinking his hazy eyes.

“Then you…”

He let me go after a while.

“Who are you?”

This time, I couldn’t think of any words to answer.

I know right. Who am I? A kid who was destined to die before I even became an adult? A demon who took possession of someone else’s body?

Or am I just a monster?

“…I don’t know.”

As soon as I said it, I burst out laughing. Even for me it was a silly answer.

“I really don’t know. Who I am…”

No one wanted to know my real name. A name that no one called out had no meaning.

“…Whose daughter am I.”

Who should I call ‘Dad’? I couldn’t call the man in front of me like that anymore.

My facial muscles were contorted without mercy. Tears would probably overflow if I was a little careless.

I swallowed all the boiling emotions in order not to cry.

The silence seemed to last forever.

“…I see.”

Alan turned his back on me.

He climbed the stairs slowly. The sound of heavy footsteps hit my whole body like rain showers.

‘I…’

I looked at his back, clenching and opening my stiff hands in shock.

My own reaction was more surprising than Alan’s.

‘Are you disappointed?’

Alan didn’t hug me like Pedro or Hugo did.

What’s surprising about that? I was so shocked.

‘It’s only natural for Alan to do that. I am not his daughter.’

I grabbed my chest and took a deep breath. For some reason, it seemed that my surroundings lacked air.

‘I am proof that Alan failed to protect his daughter. From now on, every time he sees me, he will remember that fact. So it’s only natural that he looks away from me…’

But why? What the hell did I expect?

‘Stop thinking.’

I clenched my fist and hit myself in the head.

‘Don’t dare hold on to a wish that won’t come true.’

As I repeated that, I pushed an unbelievable wind into my stomach.

The words of a certain boy stuck in my head when his true feelings took over. 

“This world is hell.”

I sort of understand the meaning of those words now.

“You and I will live in hell forever.”

‘I am a nameless monster.’

And all these tragedies were the price I paid for being a monster.

***

Chirp chirp.

The birds chirped cheerfully.

I jumped up the spiral staircase swiftly and took a deep breath as I leaned against the stone wall. And I raised my head even before my sweat cooled down.

The day was sunny. It was as though three days had passed in the basement full of lilies, but when I went outside, the sun was still in the middle of the sky.

Alan’s back was seen in the distance. He was walking aimlessly along a narrow path.

I wiped the sweat from my forehead and rushed to him.

“Duke!”

Alan didn’t answer. He looked up into the air as if possessed by something and walked forward.

I called Alan several times, and somehow managed to grab the hem of his cloak.

“Duke…!”

Thud!

I lost my focus and fell on my butt.

It was because Alan turned his body violently. Unintentionally, the jade-colored eyes widened.

I was even more surprised by his expression, so I jumped up like a spring.

“I, I’m okay. It doesn’t hurt.”

I quickly brushed the dirt off my skirt. And I said it with courage.

“Ta, take… Michael out… please.”

“……”

“Don’t kill Michael…”

My voice trembled uncontrollably. I didn’t know if it was because I was still short of breath or because I was in front of Alan.

Alan didn’t answer. Well, it wouldn’t be weird.

I couldn’t believe I was asking for another favor that would surely be rejected in a situation where we were no longer a fake father-and-daughter.

‘But I have to get confirmation right now.’

The only person who could save Michael, who was like a lamp in front of the wind, was me.

“The culprit is different. The Crown Prince will confess himself…”

Clink.

I swallowed my words at the sound of metal clashing.

Alan didn’t even listen to me; he took out a small set of keys.

There were three shiny keys hanging from a metal ring, and he picked the oldest of them and handed it over to me.

“It’s the key to the underground prison.”

“Ah…”

Instinctively, I took the key and my mouth opened stupidly.

‘The Crown Prince brainwashed Michael and made him put poison in the potion. The Crown Prince himself will admit that fact. It’s not Michael’s own play, the kid is innocent…’

Before I could even say those words, I got the prison key. So easily.

“I will cancel the hanging.”

Alan spoke calmly and looked at the fresh green of summer. The focus was as distant as looking through the forest.

“…You may leave this castle.”

Fwoosh.

A cool breeze blew between us like a river.

“I won’t search. Wherever you go.”

The low voice scattered like burning ashes.

‘He won’t search. He won’t look for me…’

“That means…”

I barely moved my tongue; it was as heavy as steel.

“Does it mean that… You’re sparing me?”

“…….”

Alan looked down at me. Shattered shadows were cast over the dry expressionless face.

“That’s right.”

As soon as those words fell, I secretly clenched my fist. My nails pierced my skin, and it felt like I was bleeding.

“I…”

I had no idea what expression to make.

I couldn’t cry in front of Alan. I didn’t want to give him more trouble than I was already giving.

So I smiled.

“I still have to stay here…”