In Alan’s eyes, it might seem infinitely brazen, but I couldn’t help it.
I must still remain in the Duke’s Castle. To prepare for the upcoming rebellion and to protect the Bauner family.
“The Crown Prince said that. Four years later, there will be a rebellion… I, I think it would be better to hold hands with the Crown Prince.”
After struggling as if to prove my usefulness, I eventually couldn’t continue my contradictions and shut my mouth.
‘It’s all excuses.’
There was only one reason why I stayed in the Duke’s Castle even though Alan didn’t hold me back.
‘I want to be here.’
All these promises to protect him were just excuses.
I wanted to live in the Duke’s Castle. I wanted to walk the rest of my life holding my family’s hand.
However, Alan didn’t seem to have any intention of doing so.
“…Okay.”
Alan answered briefly and turned around. He left without saying goodbye to me.
I was left alone on a trail full of the smell of grass.
Fwoosh. Fwoosh.
The leaves moved like ripples on the lake.
I swayed aimlessly with the wind, then slumped in place.
Ha…”
A fake smile came out as if there was a hole in my lungs.
“Haha, ha… Hahaha…”
I shook my head and laughed like a fool. The cold sweat that had accumulated on the back of my neck ran down.
Then I heard footsteps nearby.
I turned my head helplessly. A slender silhouette could be seen between the dense tree trunks.
It was a familiar face. I reached out towards him, meaning for him to come closer.
“Benny.”
As if waiting, the beautiful boy came to my side and knelt down on one knee.
Benny tapped my cheek with the back of his hand. He had a worried expression.
I narrowed my eyes and buried my face in his callus-covered palms.
His body temperature, which was twice cooler than others, was now warm.
I dropped these words while savoring Benny’s unique warmth.
“I’m alive.”
Whenever I collapsed, Benny would come to me like a ghost and protect me.
Perhaps that was why, in front of him, my inner feelings came out more easily than when I was alone.
“He saved me. Dad, saved me…”
I survived. Alan didn’t kill me.
I was terribly happy about that fact. I was relieved to the point that my whole body was relaxed.
‘It’s definitely like that, but…’
It was sad, just as much as joy.
I stopped the hand that was pulling my hair and grabbed Benny’s sleeve.
He turned my arm around his shoulders and hugged me.
When the heart was weighed down by another person’s body, the inner feelings that I had suppressed rose up to the end of my throat.
“Ugh.”
I breathed out reflexively. Even if I tried to cover my sore eyes, it was faster for Benny to grab my wrist.
“Ug… Ugh.”
I bit my lips and shook my head. But Benny clenched my chin and even blocked the quivering.
“You can cry.”
The solemn words were closer to a command than comfort.
For me now, his orders worked well. The boy’s piercing eyes forcibly opened the attic of emotions.
Tuk.
Tears ran down my cheeks. Starting with that single drop, all the lamentations that had been tightly hidden burst out.
“My dad…”
Tears overflowed. The liquid that soaked my face was as hot as molten iron.
“Said that I can leave…”
I felt dizzy. The whole world turned round and round.
Only Alan’s voice that I had just heard repeated in my ears, like a broken music box.
Now, even if I disappear, he wouldn’t look for me, he clearly said so.
“I am no longer useful as a substitute…”
I gasped for breath and scraped against the air. Benny moved his arms around my waist to support me as if I was about to fall.
“You should be thankful for him saving me.”
The boy didn’t say yes or no, he just listened to me.
It was permission to fill the silence with my words.
A sweet kid.
Without realizing it, I make a fool of myself.
“I should be thankful that I didn’t end up getting beaten. I know that. But…”
Clinging to the boy’s arm, I curled up like a caterpillar.
My hands were trembling. It was strangely cold even on a midsummer day.
“…I’m a really bad kid.”
I had an unreasonable desire. An ugly wish that could not be extinguished even if I tried to erase it on my own.
“I, actually…”
It was sad that Alan didn’t hold me. I wanted him to accept me as I am.
“I wanted to be forgiven.”
I just found out I didn’t want to be Lilietta.
“I wanted to be my dad’s daughter.”
I covered my face with my shrunken hands. My nape was hot, but my hands were cold.
‘But I can’t do that, right?’
The core in my heart that I had been holding down for four years was oxidized with hot smoke. I had the illusion of steam coming out of my nose and ears.
Heat rose all over the body. I had to go back to my room before causing any inconvenience.
But instead of getting up, I fell.
As Benny hugged me, the cloudy landscape turned upside down.
The scattered sunlight hit my wet vision.
It was so bright that I closed my eyes. Tears from my eyelashes ran down my temple and wet the tips of my ears.
‘Dad.’
I thought of something precious.
After endlessly drawing the lonely figure that disappeared into the forest, I said goodbye to a title I could never call again.
“…Alan.”
At the end of the memory of Benny hugging me, the chain of consciousness was cut.
I stayed ill for three days.
Alan didn’t come to visit me.
***
When Princess Lilietta fell ill with a fever of unknown cause, the Duke’s Castle was completely turned upside down.
It was sudden, but the biggest problem was that the healing magic didn’t work for her.
Hugo lost his composure and went out to find specialist doctors on his own.
Pedro was passionate about nursing, but probably because he had never caught a cold, he actually got in the way when he put an ice pack on her face.
The larks, one of the best healers in the empire, were also completely ignorant of folk remedies.
In the end, the only people who could take care of her were the head maid, Verney, and Benimus.
The two of them took care of the princess with all their heart and sincerity for a day and a half.
Nevertheless, Lilietta did not wake up.
Instead of opening her eyes from time to time, the little girl let out a weeping groan, burning the sympathy of the onlookers.
Even Verney was grieving, but Benimus alone was calm.
He silently wiped the princess’ sweat, combed her hair, and changed the towel on her forehead.
His care was impeccable, except for Hugo’s uproar as he casually tried to change Lilietta’s pajamas.
Perhaps thanks to the devotion of her unofficial fiancé, Lilietta regained consciousness the next day after she collapsed.
***
“Uhuk!”
‘She’ twisted her body with a dry cough.
Benimus fixed her body in the right position and wiped her sweat with a wet towel.
Feeling pained upon seeing her pale face, he was about to untie the ribbon of her pajamas, but she slowly opened her eyes.
“…Benny.”
She let out a harsh breath.
Benimus casually untied the ribbon and brough another feather pillow for support.
“Yes, Princess.”
She raised her eyes as if checking the place.
This was the princess’ room. There were only the two of them, the boy and the girl, and the bed was surrounded with gifts from the various visits.
Benimus explained the situation so that she would not think she was abandoned and left alone in pain.
“The head maid went to sleep for a while. She stayed up all night for two days… If she overdoes it, she may fall sick as well.”
“…….”
“The Knight Commander is on guard, and the Archmage went out to find the 12th folk remedy doctor. 11 doctors said you would get better if you rest well, but they don’t seem to be trustworthy.”
Benimus’ tone was indifferent, as if those who cared for the girl were dolls in a role play.
“It’s not a big illness, it’s just stress. You need to drink plenty of water…”
“What about you?”
As he was about to change the towel on her forehead, she gently grabbed his sleeve.
Benimus tilted his head.
“What about me, what…?”
“You… uhuk! Are you not resting?”
The trembling voice mixed with a slight cough.
She didn’t relax her shaking hands, even though the pain she had put off while sleeping would have come at once.
“Have you been by my side for two days?”
It was a confident assumption.
Benimus nodded quietly.
As she said, the boy stayed by the bed with his eyes open for two days.
He didn’t eat or sleep, and only focused on taking care of her.
Her eyes became teary. Benimus was a little perplexed.
“I’m fine. Demons do not die even if they stay awake.”
“Then neither will I die.”
She lifted her upper body and leaned against the bedhead. Her small body staggered like a reed, making the viewer more anxious.
“I’m a monster, but I feel weirder when I’m sick…”
“Princess.”
Benimus grabbed her by the shoulders with both hands and forced her to lay down.
The sick body fell easily without much force. Her hair, twisted in a single braid, hung down on the sheet like a vein.
“Rest.”
It was a statement, not a request. Benimus had no intention of letting her out of this room, no matter how much she pleaded.
Perhaps because she felt his strong will, she did not resist any longer.
Now he could change the towel on her forehead. While wiping up the sweat, she suddenly said,
“Thank you.”
“You can take it for granted.”
“Not for this, but everything.”
She narrowed her eyes and whispered.
“Thank you for everything…”
Her lips twitched as if she had something more to say.
But she soon lowered her gaze and muttered in a voice that seemed to be floating off.
“You are so nice to me.”
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