“Why do you think?” he asked me in return.
It had already crossed my mind that if this was just about our relationship then I should definitely have a say; however, this wasn’t just about our relationship. The impact of this decision would spread much further beyond my relationship with Ace and our future together. Everyone involved in the two companies would be affected and the relationship between Elizabeth and Kyle would be greatly impacted as well. It was precisely for these reasons that I didn’t quite understand how this should boil down to a decision that had to be made by me.
“It’s just…this isn’t just about us…” I replied in a small voice as I pleaded with him with my eyes for him to have mercy on me and tell me what he was thinking instead of making me guess.
“I guess you’re right about that. I’m sorry again, I didn’t want to apply that much pressure on you,” Ace said before pausing to smile a little at me.
“Then…” I murmured as I dared to hope that he would overturn his decision.
At that point, I was satisfied enough to go along with whatever Ace would decide. Just as always, I wanted desperately for him to take the lead and make the decision for us. I trusted him so much that I was willing to go along with whatever he would decide. It would be much easier for me that way and I was certain that I could live with the consequences of his decision whatever they may be.
“But, for me, I think the most important thing is that you’ll be ok with what we do next. You’re right about this not being purely about our relationship, but to me, it’s probably the most important factor of all. Whatever we finally decide to do, I really want you to be fine with it,” he explained calmly before he smiled warmly at me.
“Ace…” I whispered his name as his words made my chest clench.
It only just occurred to me that he might have been forcing this decision on me because he really cared about my thoughts and feelings. In his own way, he may be trying to put me and my preferences first. However, that didn’t change the fact that I was stuck with making such a difficult decision. Everything just felt so overwhelming and the decision that loomed right in front of me felt too big for someone like me to handle. I turned my face to see Ace staring intently at me and I hoped that he wasn’t holding his breath while waiting for my decision because I hadn’t decided on anything. His hazel eyes as they met mine felt gentle and sincere.
“Are you always stuck making such difficult decisions like this?” I asked as I tried to keep my tone light.
Being in the position that he was in, I wouldn’t be surprised if he had to make decisions with such high stakes and tradeoffs all the time. Many of the decisions that Ace had to make undoubtedly would impact so many people at such a widescale.
“Sometimes, but fortunately, not all the time,” he replied before grinning at me.
“You know, I think I’ll be fine with whatever you decide…” I mumbled softly although I knew that it was probably impossible for me to make Ace change his mind about the matter.
“Even if that is the case, you need to make some decisions by yourself for yourself, Rina…” he lectured me quite sternly.
“I know…but that doesn’t make it any easier…” I replied as the conflicted feelings made my chest feel tight again.
Ace smiled at me and for a split second, I thought that I could see a very sympathetic look in his eyes. That small sign of his will wavering disappeared as quickly as it had appeared, and I knew that he was still adamant about me making the decision.
“Once the decision is made, everyone will have to play their role and their part,” Ace spoke up quite sternly.
“Our part?” I murmured questioningly.
“That’s right. Have you not yet realized it?” Ace asked before he grinned at me again.
I did realize it and that was probably the main reason why I felt so conflicted. The concept of personal sacrifice for the greater good was just a faraway concept to me and I had never dreamt that I would be caught up in a situation where I had to choose. If I wanted to keep Ace to myself, then there was a high chance that the merger wouldn’t go through. However, I was scared of the idea of Ace posing as Elizabeth’s boyfriend and fiancé. Just thinking about it, made me feel many knots forming in the pit of my stomach.
All the dark thoughts and painful feelings that I had to go through when I thought that he was cheating on me with her came back to me so vividly that it made my head throb. It was no wonder that I thought that I wouldn’t last if I had to relive those feelings again. Although I trusted Ace more now than ever before and I knew that it would just be acting with nothing that was supposed to be real, I wasn’t entirely certain that it wouldn’t bother me when the time really came.
“I’m so sorry. I’m…feeling very confused. I just can’t decide…” I confessed as I squeezed my eyes tightly shut.
“You don’t have to rush yourself. We do have some time to make our decision, although not a great deal…” Ace replied.
I felt the slight weight of his arm around my shoulders as he drew me closer to him. Naturally, I leaned my head on him for support as if it would make all my troubles magically melt away. Of course, it wouldn’t be that easy and I knew it well enough.
With my eyes still closed, my mind continued working hard on exactly the same endless debate.
--To be continued…
