Li Jinnian found a rock and sat down. His long legs were slightly apart, and his arms and knees were crossed. He chatted with Xia Jinyuan about the reason why he had never thought of getting married.
In the past, the two of them only had a mutual understanding of each other and did not meet often. Hence, there was a sense of distance between them.
Now that there was Ye Jian, it was very natural for the two of them to get closer.
"My first experience with a loss in the military was not long after I entered the navy. Just a few days earlier, the soldier who died was standing on the island and laughing as he told me that in a week, his wife would bring their four-year-old daughter over to see him.
"When I saw him again, his body was swollen from seawater, and he was holding a plastic bag in his hand. Inside was heroin. He encountered a smuggling drug dealer and was killed.
"The day we found him… The soldier's wife and daughter were on the train for a day and a night, but they were filled with joy. After the train ride, they had to take a plane before finally getting on a ship for four hours. The wife carried a bag in her left hand and a bag of their hometown's specialties in her right. The child held her satchel. The mother and child walked over happily.
"The comrade who picked up the mother and child told me that she refused to let him carry the specialties she brought over. She was afraid that he would lose them. She even said that they were all her husband's favorite specialties.
"My comrade couldn't help but cry when he heard that. However, he was afraid that he would be seen through, so he hurriedly turned around and wiped his tears. After that, he didn't dare to say anything else."
At this point, Li Jinnian's eyes turned red.
They were all the toughest and most fearless men. Their hearts were also the softest, and they were the most tolerant. Even though it had been so long since their sad past, bringing it up again would still pinch their tender hearts.
"From the northernmost to the southernmost part of our country, this seemingly weak wife spent dozens of hours to meet her husband and bring him joy.
"She came over with her child full of joy. The child wanted to see her father, while the wife wanted to see her husband. After that… she saw her husband whose face had changed. His entire body was so swollen that… he couldn't even wear his uniform.
"Her heart utterly collapsed. Despair and hopelessness… It was the first time I had nightmares for three consecutive nights."
Such a topic was a common topic among soldiers. Even the feeling after waking up from a dream was similar.
Xia Jinyuan tapped his chest and said in a low voice, "Every time I woke up, my hot heart seemed to be sealed by ice and snow. There was no warmth at all. I'd feel so cold that I'd start trembling.
"At that time, I thought that I absolutely couldn't get married. I didn't want to implicate an innocent woman and our family.
"Back then, my chest felt so tight that every breath I took hurt. When I woke up the next day, my comrades all had a layer of sorrow in their eyes. That feeling… was really…"
His breath got caught in his throat. The two of them fell silent at the same time.
Li Jinnian seemed to hear the heart-wrenching cries of the family members of those who were sacrificed. The pain of losing their loved ones was even more painful than getting their hearts cut open.
"Our line of work is too dangerous. We can't lead a stable life with our future wives and children. In that case, it's better to just give up on that idea, no?"
After a long time, Li Jinnian said softly, "If you're not careful, you'll be wiped off the face of the earth. Why implicate others?"
