“Surely the first time… of course.”
Carynne went to Nancy’s room once again, which she had visited only a moment ago. Having kept her promise, it’s now time for her to do what she needed to do.
“Oh, right. If I kill her this time, should I let her kill me again next time?”
Turning the gun in her hand, Carynne mulled it over. In the end though, she shook her head. She had already died a lot before this, she’s sure Nancy would let it slide.
Knock, knock.
It was different from when she had stricken the door loudly before. Now a little calmer, Carynne knocked on the door normally for a long time instead of pounding on it roughly. Knock, knock, knock, knock, until it would open. Quite some time later, the door slowly opened, and a murmur from inside leaked out.
“Milady, it’s still dawn…”
Nancy opened the door, evidently irritated and tired. Then, she rubbed her eyes as she peered at Carynne. It was the same reaction as before. So, too, did she say the same thing.
“Did you have a nightmare?”
Yes, I had a nightmare. Actually, I’m still in the middle of one. But now, I am going to experience a new morning. And you’ll have to help me.
“Yes, can we go back to my room?”
“U-Um, Milady… what’s that?”
Nancy asked with a shaky voice. Carynne found the maid’s question to be a little funny.
“You know what. If you try screaming here, I’ll shoot you in the face right away.”
With a sweet smile upon her lips, Carynne shoved the pistol’s barrel at Nancy’s forehead. Nancy shut her mouth right then. Carynne brought a finger to her lips and slowly led the maid out of her room.
“We have a lot to talk about, don’t we?”
.
.
.
The story that Nancy recounted, trembling voice and all, was just as Carynne had guessed beforehand.
Catherine introduced Nancy to Carynne, who had been constantly depressed as a child. Then, Nancy made her think that she was inside an illusory fairytale world.
“Why?”
“She wanted you to experience something new, not just get pregnant and have a child. I guess the Madam wanted you to live a more pure and more beautiful life.”
Her mother seemed to have spoken more frankly and in more detail to someone who wasn’t her father. Carynne chewed her lower lip and said,
“…I don’t understand.”
Carynne mumbled as she fiddled with the gun. She couldn’t understand it herself. Why did her mother urge her to take this path that repeats over and over again? Why did she make it like that? In Carynne’s eyes, what Catherine had done to her was of no regard to her at all.
“But at that time, Milady, you had already heard the story, and you were extremely anxious and depressed.”
“So the only things I’ll do in my life is get pregnant, give birth and then die? That’s it?”
The child’s cries urged Catherine to take action. And, thus, Carynne’s life turned upside down.
“That’s… all it took.”
Catherine was not supposed to do that. Carynne was filled with the urge to cry. Her mother shouldn’t have twisted the truth, even if she said that she didn’t want to hear it. Catherine should have just allowed Carynne to hear the truth.
But now, Carynne could vaguely guess why Catherine had done that.
Catherine must have gotten so worn down by Crown Prince Gueuze, too. Carynne was pissed off about the abandoned diary that was extremely insincere, but even with the few words that Catherine had left behind, the anger she had against Crown Prince Gueuze was evident.
[ Gueuze is here again. Damn son of a bitch. Just die. ]
Carynne’s great-grandmother was a grand duchess, her grandmother was a countess, and her mother was the wife of a baronet. Their peerages had dropped exponentially throughout the generations. This was what happened as these women had chosen men for themselves on their own terms.
Her great-grandmother married a grand duke, but Catherine settled for a baronet.
It didn’t occur to Carynne that the crown prince must have proposed to her mother properly before. She knew well enough that Crown Prince Gueuze was not a romantic, as the public would say. Even when he was trying to win Catherine over, he must surely have done it through violent means.
Maybe her mother didn’t love her father either. No one would have loved a man she had just been set up to marry. It’s just that, perhaps her father was the best her mother could have.
It was a no-brainer that Crown Prince Gueuze must have come to Catherine even after each of their marriages. And Catherine must not have been glad about that. She thought of him as a nuisance. Courtship from a member of the royal family was violence, not love.
Catherine’s one and only choice was to flee. Perhaps seeing her daughter, Carynne, crying like that was what pushed her off the edge.
Perhaps she really, truly just wanted to choose love.
Everything until now was just Carynne’s guess. However, Carynne thought that Catherine must have projected herself unto her daughter and inscribed her wishes into her.
The perfect love story that she could not have for herself.
But from the start, it was a misguided effort. Carynne was barren. Catherine’s plan was as terribly structured as a sand castle built in front of a coming wave.
Carynne, for now and forever, would just… No, Carynne shook her head. This time, something had changed. It could be different from now on.
“…I believe it no longer matters what my mother once had in mind for me.”
Nancy seemed a little surprised to hear Carynne’s answer.
“I see. The Madam will be disappointed if she could hear this.”
Who cares.
Carynne ignored the maid’s slight reprimand and went straight to the point.
“Can you bring back my memories?”
“Maybe?” Nancy answered.
“How?”
“Please unfasten this first.”
Rattle.
“I’m being sincere…”
Nancy spoke tearfully as Carynne took a moment to think. Some of her memories were coming back to her from time to time. Nancy was pleading with tears in her eyes like this, but as a matter of fact, Carynne was a frail young woman and Nancy could very well overpower her. After all, Nancy had killed Carynne before, too.
“Don’t do anything strange to my body anymore.”
Carynne was sick and tired of it all. She’s sick of this darkness, sick of trying fumble her way through the abyss just to find the truth.
“I haven’t completely regained my memories, but some fragments keep coming back to me from time to time.”
“Instead of waiting more, wouldn’t they come back faster with my help?”
If anything at all could help, should she just get whatever she could from Nancy? She could die as soon as possible now anyway.
“…I still won’t release you though.”
“But that really won’t work, Milady.”
“Why should I believe you?”
Nancy pondered for a moment, then soon gave out a suggestion.
“You can give me more money.”
“…The nerve of you.”
As if Carynne’s words were the signal, it seemed like Nancy was henceforth determined to act shamelessly. She conveyed her true feelings and spoke clearly.
“My only motivation is money. If you give me more money than His Lordship, I will cooperate with you completely.”
That sounded plausible.
Carynne knew that Nancy had itchy fingers somewhat. In her own way, Nancy was efficient with both her work and her bad habit, but because the latter outweighed the former, she couldn’t stay long wherever she worked and tended to get kicked out before long. Furthermore, her bad habit couldn’t totally be covered up by her hypnosis, that’s why Nancy would just cram anything she wanted into her pocket.
Now that Carynne thought about it, was it perhaps because House Hare needed Nancy’s hypnosis that they’d been turning a blind eye to her actions all this time?
“…You stole Isella’s necklace, too, huh.”
Why didn’t I ever suspect Nancy, Carynne thought. That day, when Isella had a tantrum, the girl had slapped Nancy, too.
“Who’s Isella?”
She hadn’t appeared yet? Carynne ignored Nancy’s recent question and answered another one.
“Fine, I’ll give you ten silver coins first.”
Nancy’s eyes went wide. Ten silver coins was her salary for three whole months.
“How will you pay that, Milady?”
“I stole Dad’s key.”
“I couldn’t do that either, so how…”
“If you succeed in this, you’ll get ten gold coins in the end.”
Hearing this, Nancy’s gaze burned with a strong, fiery determination.
The contract was thus established.
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