Once again, the same birthday celebration. The birthday of the daughter of a fief lord, whose estate was far from the capital, wasn’t a grand event. The same people, the same food, the same music.
However, there’s one thing that’s different—Carynne herself. She was waiting for Dullan impatiently, keeping her eyes wide open for his entrance. Beneath her dress’s skirt, one leg was strapped with a dagger and the other with a gun.
She had succeeded with Nancy before, so Dullan wouldn’t be a problem. In her own way, Nancy wasn’t cooperating with Carynne. But with Dullan, on the other hand, Carynne believed that he would cooperate with her.
If it wouldn’t work, then she had a gun to help her.
“Are you really going to do it, Milady?”
“Just focus on putting it on properly.”
As she was told, Nancy strapped the weapons to Carynne’s legs with a half-scared, half-flabbergasted expression.
“Are you sure these aren’t going to fall?”
“Yeess…”
Carynne reached down and tried to shake off the weapons, and they didn’t budge. Carynne and Nancy had taken quite an arduous time to secure the gun.
“I can’t breathe…”
“It can’t be helped. We have to fasten the corset properly so that it won’t fall off.”
“Uugh…”
Even now, the corset was tight around her. Nancy had acted a little different from the usual, perhaps because she was nervous. The gun on her leg also felt cumbersome, and she didn’t like the hairstyle Nancy did for her. The corset was also over-tightened.
She made a mental note to add this to the list of things she had to pay Dullan back for.
I’ll cut off your neck the moment I catch you.
And then, a familiar voice reached her ears.
“C-Carynne Hare. Y-Your… h-husband has come to you, yet y-you make that face?”
You’re here!
Carynne inwardly cheered. It’s been a hundred years since she had been so happy. Yes, yes, you did well to meet me! Pressing down the urge to shout these words, Carynne answered.
“Not yet.”
“…F-Fiancé.”
“Either way, not yet.”
Who’s Dullan? He’s Carynne’s fiancé.
It was his betrothed’s birthday, yet he was dressed in his black priest robes as if he was attending a funeral instead. Everyone around him whispered behind his back, staring blatantly without a hint of hesitation.
There wasn’t any such secret behind his appearance. He’s just plain ugly.
“W-What are you doing?”
She pulled at his clothes, which smelled of the rain yet again this time, and the ends were as muddy as always. He also smelled faintly of wine. Did he drink?
Carynne stared at Dullan, who also stared down at her. Their eyes met.
“I-I don’t… know what you’re t-thinking, but…”
The current Dullan couldn’t possibly know what Carynne was thinking.
He’s the assistant who Catherine had attached to Carynne. Catherine wished for Carynne to find true love. Nancy said that this man had been giving Carynne sedatives. Most of the food she had been eating all this time were made from his recipes.
“……”
I want to drag you away and kill you now. I want to torture you and make you spit out the truth. I want to let everything unrestrained, to scream it all out.
This was what Carynne’s thinking: he’s suspicious.
“Let go…”
Carynne was aware that she was holding Dullan by the collar right now.
“Excuse us.”
Carynne was aware that people around them were watching them. However, they couldn’t help but feel conflicted.
The song had begun. Carynne gnashed her molars together and grabbed Dullan’s hand.
“It will be true solace this time.”
It was the same ‘comfort’ he mentioned before. But right now, he doesn’t remember that. Carynne led him to the proper position.
In what manner am I going to die this time.
What do you mean by solace.
Raymond’s first appearance wasn’t until another month. Dullan was here again with the same face. Carynne wanted to rip off that same face.
The song was over.
“I w-won’t ask you to l-love me, Carynne Hare. But we’re… not strangers at… all.”
It’s your sole handiwork why we’ve had to look at each other’s faces for such a long time.
Carynne kept staring at him. Every single word he uttered bothered her. Now that she thought about it, Dullan seemed to be doing this to try and gauge whether she could remember.
In her mind, Carynne was ripping off this man’s face to examine him. This man, who had such a self-conscious expression due to his all-consuming inferiority complex.
It was as if bugs were crawling all around her, and she couldn’t help but feel unpleasant.
However, she had to put up with it.
“A-At least smile.”
Why should I smile for you? Sometimes, you just…
Carynne grinned as widely as she could, revealing her teeth. And she uttered what he was about to say.
“I can’t stand being treated like a fool.”
“……”
Dullan said nothing back.
It’s not him who was truly being treated like a fool.
Carynne recalled the time when she thought that marriage with Dullan might be the answer. But no, that was not the answer. And she didn’t know how much he knew.
He never told Carynne the whole story. He stuttered as always, he pretended to have not known anything, he put that girl in a coma, he had dead bodies removed, he dropped Carynne from the tower.
Who the hell are you?
Carynne endured the pressing urge to ask all the questions swirling in her mind. Instead, she focused on what she had to do right now. Just do what she could do at the moment.
“Come to my room tonight.”
Then, Dullan frowned. It’s not that he was angry, nor was he about to curse at her.
“…Are you going to lock the door after letting the hounds loose again?”
“Ha.”
“Damn it, you did that during your tenth birthday.”
Just look at this abominable priest. He knew that Carynne couldn’t remember, so he’s trying to pry. He had full awareness. He knew, so.
“Let’s go right now.”
But Carynne knew his true nature. He was a lustful man. Regardless of how he saw Carynne, this was an unchanging fact. So, he would surely follow Carynne’s lead.
“I don’t, understand.”
Carynne clung to him. And, she checked her leg.
This lady had a trump card.
* * *
Right now, Dullan was all tied up and Carynne was sitting on top of him. As soon as they had entered the room, Carynne pointed the gun right at his head.
Below her, Dullan glared at Carynne as though he was going to bite her.
“…You’re c-crazy. G-Ge… Get off.”
There had been a brief struggle between them, but it was easier than she had expected to catch him. Carynne grabbed the hair of the man underneath her.
“Why do you think I’m crazy?”
“……”
What should she do with this man? He’s still insisting on keeping his mouth shut even after all this.
“I know you made a deal with my mother.”
Thud!
Still grabbing him by his hair, Carynne hit Dullan’s head against the floor forcefully. His forehead was now bleeding. She heard his weak groan, but it didn’t look like he was too hurt. Carynne really wanted to make him feel pain.
“…Here’s the thing. Let me tell you about one seriously annoying assumption.”
“U-Untie me.”
Carynne gripped his hair tightly. She wanted to see this man cry and suffer. Murderous intent and malice were boiling over inside her. However, there was something she had to confirm before that. She needed to get an answer from him.
“Listen here. I’m the one who’s asking, and you’re the one who’ll answer. Get it?”
“…Crazy.”
“I told you to shut up.”
Carynne dug her nails into his scalp. Dullan went quiet.
“You know, I’m guessing that the way my mother stopped this damn repetition is through getting pregnant.”
“……”
“But I’ve never been pregnant. Ever.”
“……”
“I’m barren, and because of that, I… I thought I’d just live like this forever.”
“……”
“I’ve never once been pregnant. Even after fucking all those men.”
Frustration. Despair. Grief. She was overcome by such negative emotions. But at this very moment, she was determined not to let it consume her.
Carynne shoved the gun at Dullan’s temple. And, she thought.
How far was he involved? Why did he know about her coin?
What did she get from Catherine in exchange for his involvement? And if the assumption Carynne had right now was correct, then he’s—
“You know… There’s this thing.”
—suspicious.
“About me being barren.”
Carynne pressed the gun’s tip hard against his skin.
“If you’re the one regularly giving me sedatives, isn’t it also possible for you to slip me drugs to make me barren?”
After a while, Dullan looked up and spoke. However, his answer was just terrible.
“…I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
He’s going to evade it like this?
Carynne was enraged. Rather than pulling the gun off him, she aimed for his neck. She wanted so much to pull the trigger, but the only thing stopping her was the fact that she wouldn’t hear anything at all from him if she killed him now.
Gritting her teeth, she told herself, You have to put up with it.
“And about how I die and live again. There’s no way you don’t know.”
Carynne found out because of what Dullan in the past iteration told her. Back then, too, Dullan looked like he wasn’t afraid of dying. That version of Dullan was her basis. However, the current Dullan was denying it.
“Y-Y-You suffer from hallucinations. That’s why I… studied medicine.”
“You admitted it to me before!”
Nothing worked. Dullan kept denying it one by one.
“…That’s noth…nothing but your illusion.”
Keeping the gun aimed at him, Carynne used her other hand to pull out the dagger and stab it right into the back of Dullan’s hand.
Shluk! Accompanied by the loud sound, the dagger penetrated his hand as she stabbed it with all her strength. Blood gushed out. Dullan’s eyes were wide open.
“Kuh, a-aacck!”
“Next time, I’ll cut off a finger.”
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