My feelings toward Miyagi — 192
Translated by KaiesV
Edited by KaiesV
Just in case.
I told Miyagi yesterday to stay home.
When I open the front door, there was Miyagi’s shoes.
She seems to be properly at home, not going out anywhere, even now in the evening.
I take off my shoes and head to the common space.
I wondered what would happen if I went to pick up the cake I had reserved and came back to find that she wasn’t home, but that did not happen. Without today’s star of the show, the birthday cake would not come to life.
I put a small whole cake in the fridge and knock on Miyagi’s door.
Tap, tap.
Two small taps on the door and Miyagi emerges from the room.
「I’m home.」
「Welcome home.」
「I bought you a cake.」
「…You didn’t have to.」
Miyagi says in a flat voice.
「I promised, didn’t I? On Miyagi’s birthday, we both said we would eat the whole round cake together.」
Some promises I made on my birthday.
One of them is that on Miyagi’s birthday, we would eat together a whole cake, enough for both of us, without leaving any leftovers.
Today and from now on, that promise will be kept.
Miyagi didn’t let me swear on her earring, but there is no way I will break this promise.
Because I want to gain her trust.
For more than those reasons, this promise is a heavy one, and I’m not worthy of it if I don’t keep this promise. I strongly believe that it’s a promise that cannot be broken because it’s a promise that the earring didn’t make me swear to.
「I didn’t think you’d actually buy it.」
I heard a voice that was quite small compared to the magnitude of my thoughts, and when I involuntarily stared at her, she looked away.
Her voice was a little low, but she didn’t seem to be in a bad mood.
If anything, it was almost expressionless.
She looks as if she has left her emotions somewhere.
I wonder what birthdays are like for Miyagi.
Perhaps it’s a day she doesn’t want to be celebrated.
Such thoughts flashed through my mind.
「I won’t break my promise to you, Miyagi. I don’t have a part-time job today, and my friends won’t call me suddenly.」
I shake Miyagi’s hand as if to deny the thoughts that pop into my head.
That day, Miyagi seemed to have no faith in today.
So I decided that I would never break my promise.
The part-time job that Miyagi was worried about was originally a no-show day. I don’t intend to go out, even if a friend suddenly calls me. To begin with, my phone is on silent mode, so it won’t make any sound.
「What is that?」
Miyagi’s hand tries to get away from me, and I put a lot of pressure on the hand that grabs her.
「You were worried about what would happen if my part-time job didn’t get done or if I was suddenly called away by a friend.」
「I’m not worried, I’m not saying what to do.」
「Then you should be happy about the cake. It’s your birthday.」
Perhaps Miyagi is just scared.
She is stuck in the days when she spent her birthday alone and hasn’t been able to escape from it. She is afraid at this stage of her life that the round cake will be left in the fridge, that she will be left alone.
I’m a little nervous because I’ve never seen anyone so unappreciative of a birthday cake, but I encourage myself that I’m not wrong in this thinking.
「It’s still a birthday without cake.」
「Let’s change it. There should be a cake for Miyagi’s birthday, and you should look like you’re having fun.」
「…Even Sendai-san didn’t seem to be having a good time on your birthday.」
Miyagi stares at me and I remember August 23.
That day wasn’t fun because Miyagi had gone out to meet a friend. But that was until I was thrown into Miyagi’s room, and my heavy heart lightened when I learned that she was celebrating my birthday.
「That’s not true.」
I strongly denied Miyagi’s words.
「It is… You didn’t look happy.」
「I was just surprised because I didn’t expect Miyagi to do anything for my birthday.」
It was the happiest and most joyous of my nineteen birthdays.
If it didn’t seem that way, I think it was just full of surprise rather than joy because Miyagi did all the things I thought were impossible.
But it’s not about me right now.
Miyagi’s feelings are more important.
「You have a birthday, Miyagi, don’t you want to celebrate it?」
「…I don’t know. No one ever bought me a cake like this and said to eat the whole round cake.」
A voice that sounds unsure of itself comes back to me.
「You did get gifts from friends, didn’t you? Didn’t you have a birthday party or something?」
「I’ve gotten gifts from them… but I don’t like birthday parties.」
「Why?」
「After it’s over, I’m kind of sick of it.」
「What’s that?」
Why she didn’t like it.
I’m sure that’s the same reason she doesn’t like whole cake——
「Sendai-san, you said you wanted me to help you with something today. What do you want me to help you with? I’ll do it, just tell me.」
Not wanting to utter the answer to my question, Miyagi says quickly, interrupting my thoughts.
「Oh, I was going to ask for your help in cooking.」
I tell her about the “help” I asked for before I left.
I don’t want to dredge up bad memories of Miyagi associated with birthdays.
What I want to do today is not to talk about something uninteresting, so I pull Miyagi’s hand and head for the kitchen.
「Is cooking something you are about to eat?」
「Yes. It’s not a party, but I’ll make something like that.」
「Isn’t it weird that it’s my birthday and I’m making it with you?」
「Even if it’s weird, it will be memorable. Also, it’s more fun to make something together.」
「I think the only one having fun is Sendai-san.」
Despite sounding like a pain in the ass, Miyagi seems to intend to help and follows me around with an open mind.
I would like to repaint the memory of Miyagi’s birthday with memories of me.
I want to make her believe that my presence is a matter of course, and that next year, and for years to come, we will have a birthday that we will spend together.
「…What are you making?」
「Karaage.」
「You like karaage, isn’t it, Sendai-san?」
「It’s a classic, and it’s delicious. And then there’s making bite-sized pizzas out of dumpling skins——」
I don’t intend to make elaborate dishes, but I want to make something delicious.
A whole cake and a little treats.
It doesn’t have to be difficult.
If today remains in Miyagi’s memory, that’s all that matters.
I opened the refrigerator to prepare the food we were going to eat.
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