What Sendai-san likes — 246
Translated by KaiesV
Edited by KaiesV
Snap, snap.
I hear the sound of the shutter repeatedly.
It is the sound of Sendai-san taking pictures, and she continues to save the shoebill to her phone with a serious face.
「Are you getting good shots?」
When I asked Sendai-san, who was trying to keep her promise to『take lots of pictures of the shoebill and give them to Miyagi,』she stopped tapping the shutter button and looked at me.
「Of course. I’ll give you lots of pictures of the shoebill later.」
「Thank you… Sendai-san, do you think the shoebill were cute?」
「I think. This pal looks scary, but it seems charming.」
Really?
I stare at Sendai-san’s face, but I cannot tell if her words are coming from her heart. Her feelings are vague, as if behind a fog, and I cannot see them clearly.
「Did you like the shoebill, Miyagi?」
「Yeah. They’re cute.」
「That’s good, then.」
A brilliant smile is directed at me.
Her ponytail, which shows off the blue stones, complements her bright smile. Her hair looks more appropriate for summer than winter, but when she wears it, the season doesn’t seem to matter at all. It makes me want to leave her ponytail on my phone, swaying in the freezing wind.
I think it’s cunning of her to have even winter on her side.
「Sendai-san, how many pictures are you going to take?」
I can’t look straight at Sendai-san, so I remove my gaze. I take one crisp picture of the civet and tuck my phone into my pocket.
「Until you’re satisfied, Miyagi.」
「Okay, that’s enough then. I’ve taken my own pictures. Isn’t there anything you want to shoot, Sendai-san?」
As soon as she finished, I heard a cracking sound, and I said,「No, not that,」and flicked her arm as she was taking my picture.
「That being said, there’s nothing else I want to shoot.」
「Then you should be taking pictures of the shoebill.」
「You just said that was enough.」
「I take back my previous statement. Use your phone only for the shoebill.」
I catch Sendai-san by the arm and point my phone toward the shoebill. She took one photo as if she had no choice, and immediately turned her phone toward me.
「Look over there.」
I glanced at Sendai-san’s phone and pointed at the shoebill.
「I’m looking there.」
「No, you’re not. Your phone is facing this way.」
「You’re stingy, Miyagi.」
Sighing exaggeratedly, Sendai-san turns to the shoebill. I too look at the large bird, the hairs on the back of its head standing up loosely.
The shoebill spreads its wings with a flourish.
Sendai-san says in a small voice,「Ah!」and I know that we are indeed looking at the same thing, but it doesn’t seem like we are looking at the same thing.
It is as if we are seeing the same thing but different things.
That kind of thing has been with me ever since I came to the zoo.
「Sendai-san.」
「What?」
What is your favorite animal?
Are you having fun today?
This isn’t a good time to ask this.
Sendai-san is only saying bland things.
Then.
If so.
——Tell me how you really feel, Sendai-san.
I could make her swear on my piercing and have her answer, but probably not. It’s wrong to use her earrings to make her speak her mind.
「…The shoebill, they’re adorable.」
I swallowed what I wanted to ask and gave my not-so-interesting impression.
I exhale and put my hand on the plumeria earrings. I lightly stroked the small flower and then tried to hide the earrings with my hair, but Sendai-san grabbed my arm.
「They’re cute, just leave it at that.」
「They’re not cute.」
I answer in a low voice to Sendai-san, who is staring at me.
「I think the earrings look good on you and I think you look cute.」
「Shut up, Sendai-san.」
「It’s alright. I’d even say you’re cute.」
I sigh at Sendai-san, who smiles at me.
She never tells me what is important, she just says unnecessary things.
「My hand, let go.」
「Can you leave my ears where they are?」
「Let go of me, so I can do it.」
「Got it.」
Sendai-san’s hand leaves my arm with an open hand, and my arm is free.
Her ears, which have nothing to hide, are cold.
I shove my hands in my pockets and look at the grim-faced shoebill.
「…Sendai-san. Are you really having fun at the zoo?」
Even when I try not to ask, I find myself saying the same things over and over again.
「I’ve always said that I was having fun.」
I get the answer I expected, and I exhale a small breath. Then I breathe in as much as I exhaled. Rough, undigestible material enters the body along with cold air, passes through the esophagus, accumulates in the stomach, and becomes painful.
「…I’ll keep asking it because it bothers me.」
I answered in a blur and searched my memory.
What about the time we went to the aquarium?
That day was much like today. Although there were no shoebill, I saw seals and penguins with Sendai-san. But I think I was all about enjoying myself then and didn’t think about Sendai-san as much as I do now. And rather than asking her if she was having fun, I wanted to hear the answer to the question Maika had asked when she came to visit,「Is there anyone you like, Sendai-san?」I wanted to hear the answer to that question.
In the end, though, I couldn’t hear Sendai-san’s true feelings at the aquarium.
I ended up being fooled into thinking that the person she liked was Mike-chan, the cat.
Sendai-san is difficult.
There are many things I don’t understand, and I hate it.
I clench my hands in my pockets.
The tips of my fingers are terribly cold.
The weather is fine, but the wind is picking up and I get a little closer to Sendai-san.
Our shoulders lightly hit.
I can’t feel her body heat because of her thick coat, but I can smell the same shampoo on my nose. No, maybe it’s just my imagination. Still, it’s a relief to find something in common with her today.
「Don’t worry, it’s all in good fun.」
Sendai-san smiles and continues,「Shall we watch the crocodiles?」
「Why crocodiles?」
「Why was that? Because the tissue cover in Miyagi’s room is a crocodile.」
「And it just so happens that the tissue cover is a crocodile.」
「Then, you don’t want to look?」
「…I’ll look.」
「Since we’re here, let’s see the okapi and then the crocodile. The okapi is right there.」
As she said this, Sendai-san started to walk away, and I reached into my pocket and caught her hand.
「You don’t want to see the okapi?」
Perhaps physical proximity is meaningless, but right now, closer is better than farther. It may melt away the uneasiness in the corner of my mind.
「I’ll look.」
I take hold of the hand I grabbed and put my foot forward.
One step, two steps.
I walk as if dragging Sendai-san, who has a curious look on her face.
Our joined hands are cold, but if we hold them together, our body temperatures will eventually return, and I hope they will soon be as warm as usual. I need a body warmer and the only alternative is Sendai-san. Of course, she is not disposable like a warmer, but she should warm my cold hands. Gloves won’t warm my hands.
We see the okapi and go to the building where the crocodiles are. It’s not as cold as outside because of the greenhouse, but I keep holding hands with Sendai-san.
「Sendai-san, tell me your favorite animal you saw today.」
I tug on her hand, which are still held together, and ask her what I know she won’t answer if I ask. I know it’s not the right thing to ask, but today I can’t help but ask.
「What about you, Miyagi?」
「Answer my question first, Sendai-san.」
「Why don’t you answer, Miyagi?」
「You should answer, Sendai-san?」
「Nhn. Isn’t that the hardest thing to decide?」
「It’s not hard, just tell me what’s your favorite.」
I squeeze Sendai-san’s hand, which is not simmering.
When I put enough force into her hand to make her want to say, “It hurts,” though it wasn’t strong enough to crush her bones, Sendai-san began to speak quietly.
「I don’t know if I can say that. It’s not that much of an obsession, is it? What animal do you like the most?」
「Sendai-san.」
When I tried to release my hand, which she was holding tightly, she said in a flustered voice,「Okay, okay. I’ll answer you.」
When I look at Sendai-san, she is unusually wrinkling her brow and thinking seriously. Looking at her, I feel like I’m doing something terrible, so I change my question.
「If you can’t tell me your favorite animal, tell me one animal you saw today that you would like to see again.」
「An animal I’d like to see again?」
「Yes.」
「Nhn, let’s see… If I had to choose one, I’d go with the shoebill.」
「It sounds like a lie. Answer me properly.」
「Then, Miyagi, where you see the shoebill.」
「What’s that? Answer me seriously.」
I stare at Sendai-san, in front of the crocodile who doesn’t know what she is thinking.
「Now that is serious. I’m just saying, I’d love to see Miyagi watching the shoebill again. Look, Miyagi doesn’t go out with me much, right? So, you know, when we go out together, I want you to see what you wanted to see, and I want to see you looking at it, Miyagi.」
I suppress the urge to kick Sendai-san in the leg as what sounds like an excuse rushes into my ears.
She doesn’t seem to have anything she likes or wants to see.
What I like.
Where I want to go.
I thought Sendai-san, who cares about such things all the time, was concerned about me, but I don’t think so.
Programs to suit me.
It seems like that kind of thing is built into her.
「I’m not someone to be watched.」
When I express my dissatisfaction in a small voice, Sendai-san says in a softer voice.
「I know, but I want to see them. Show me Miyagi looking at the shoebill again.」
「You’re faking it.」
「I’m not faking it.」
「…I’ll ask you again which animal you like best or which one you’d like to see, and you’d better answer me then.」
There is no point in continuing the push and pull.
The issue is not whether she was misguided or not, so I’ll give her some homework to follow up on.
「I’ll think about it.」
「It’s not something you need to think about.」
Sendai-san is wrong.
What you like is not something you think about and prepare an answer for.
We leave the building where the crocodiles are and go outside.
The wind whistles and my shoulders shake.
「Miyagi, it’s cold.」
After saying this, Sendai-san let go of the hand she was holding and gently stroked my earring. She then pulled my hair back over my ears to hide the earrings, and without asking, slowly rewrapped the scarf that had been warming my neck.
「It’s getting windy, should we leave now? We’re close to the exit. There’s still some animals we haven’t seen yet, so we can go back.」
「It’s alright. We’re leaving. We can go again to the zoo.」
I grab the end of the rewrapped scarf.
「The zoo, can we come back again?」
「You said it earlier. You said you’d ask me what my favorite animal is or what I’d like to see.」
「That meant coming back to the zoo with me again.」
「If you don’t like it, fine.」
「I don’t mind. There’s the aquarium, so I thought it would be okay. Are you sure?」
「…We have time before we graduate from college.」
Next time I want to know what she likes other than Mike-chan.
Since we will still be living together for a while, I would like to know at least one more thing she likes.
「That means we’re going to go both ways, right?」
「I’ll let Sendai-san decide.」
「Well, let’s go both ways and go home for the day.」
Sendai-san, who I’m not sure if she really wants to go, smiles gently and shakes my hand.
Her hand is still cold, but not so cold that I want to let go.
She squeezes back the softly grasped hand.
Sendai-san began to walk slowly and we left the zoo.
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