How I wish I had loved Yohan one-sidedly. Then even though we could not be happy lovers, we could be good friends.
How I wish I had loved Yohan one-sidedly. Then we would have ended our first meeting with a shy but polite greeting. If I had an unrequited love for Yohan, my family wouldn’t have been insulted.
But I couldn’t. At the moment I first met him, our eyes met, and I didn’t miss his eyes shaking. Fate whispered to me and the wind of fate pushed me to him. His eyes shook. It stopped quickly, but it definitely shook, and after that, it shook again sometimes, when he wanted to forget or felt tired.
I didn’t dare to deny his feelings even though I denied mine. Because his love was so huge. However, was my love and his love different? Was he unable to make other choices while loving me so much and suffering from my absence and his love denial?
I cried and collapsed out of exhaustion. When I opened my eyes, I was still in the Temple. Did crying until I collapsed cause Cardinal Jun’s pity? No. I shook my head. Yohan knew I was there, so he would have come running right after I collapsed and picked me up. Then he gave me a room.
“I know everything.”
Yes, I did.
It was a day after I collapsed. I sneaked out of the room so the priests wouldn’t catch me. I thought I could meet Yohan if I hid in the garden. What should I say if I meet Yohan? The time for persuasion was over and we had nothing to do but watch each other. But I thought it would be a great strength and joy for Yohan.
Because Yohan loves me.
The garden is a limited entry place, so there was strict security at every corner. It can’t be helped because it’s the place where the Holy Father comes and goes often. So I took an expedient. I set a place where I could see the garden as the destination. I decided to look down at Yohan from a high place somewhere in the Temple like when I tried to look down at Yohan when the previous Pope died.
I didn’t know when I went up, but it was higher than I thought. I was so scared that I decided to call Yohan and go down.
“Your Holiness! Your Holiness Yohan!”
He appeared in the garden. I crouched down to avoid the wind and jumped up and waved. Yohan looked up at me and our eyes met. I couldn’t see his eyes shaking because it was so far away, but I felt it.
“Young Lady Rivero, come down!”
“Your Holiness Yohan! I love you!“
I was about to go down because I had said everything I had to say, but the wind suddenly blew hard and pushed me. I lost my balance and plunged to the ground. The priests and he were watching me, but my fall was faster than their reflexes.
I lost my mind along with a dizzying shock. I thought I was dead. And I had a dream.
“Tite, please. Please don’t die. If you die, I have no reason to live.”
It was a dream of someone crying by my bedside. Of course, it was Yohan who cried. The dream seemed real. The tears falling on my face were hot, and the confession whispered in my ears was so sweet that I didn’t want to wake up from my dream. Yohan in the dream was honest. He said many times that there’s no reason to live if he loses me.
It was natural considering his love for me, but he hides his feelings and doesn’t want to admit them.
It was a dream.
I had that dream over and over again for about 15 days. When I came to my senses, it became more clear that it was a dream. The only ones to come in and out of the room I laid were the female priests and Cardinal Jun. My body was fixed on the bed, unable to move, and the only free action I could do was to roll my eyes. The female priests put rice gruel into my mouth and Cardinal Jun went in and out to heal me.
“I didn’t think you’d commit suicide.”
“It’s not suicide. I’m not going to die. If I die, I can’t see Yohan.”
“Why didn’t you just die… Damn it.”
I guess I was meant to die on the spot. However, there was Yohan, who has the strongest divine power amongst the pope in history. If Yohan hadn’t treated me immediately, I’d be dead. Many people praised Yohan for his mercy. Long live the Holy Father, who saves even the weary stalker from dying.
***
“Long live…“
Tite, who was taking off her clothes, said hooray in a small voice. She laughed with bated breath so that the sound wouldn’t leak out.
“Pft. Huhu. Ahahaha. Long live the Holy Father. Ahahaha.”
Even if she threw back her head and laughed loudly, the sound would have been covered by both the loud sound of rain and the sound of thunder. Rain and lightning seemed to amplify Tite’s madness further. After laughing for a long time, Tite sobbed and shook her shoulders, then began to take off her clothes again. Reese watched the whole scene with frightened eyes.
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